Trapped

It happened years ago, anyone else involved has forgotten, or at least gotten over it, but you just can't get beyond that past self of yours.  You're wracked with guilt every day, or at least fairly often, and you just can't believe that you were once that person who would do something like that.  Since then, you've found God.  He's taught you a lot, and you know that He loves you enough to absolve all of your sins.  That's so difficult to believe at times, though.  You just can't shake the guilt.

It can seem impossible to believe that God loves us just the same after we've sinned as He did before we sinned, but it's true.  God does more than just forgive our sins when we repent, He completely forgets them. 

Sometimes it can be difficult to realize that it isn't God binding us to our sins, but ourselves.  We cling to the mistakes that we've made, feeling almost guilty if we keep them from people, even if it doesn't matter anymore.  Our sins trap us, imprison us, and we cannot leave the past in the past.  This is exactly what Jesus died to save us from.  He died so that we didn't have to be trapped by our sins, but sometimes we still choose to be.

It's time to choose not to live our lives in chains anymore.  It's time to pray.  Even if you've already asked for forgiveness, it's time to ask for help in finding self-acceptance.  If God can forgive our sins, then surely, with His help, you can, too.

Arms Wide Open

On one of the retreats that I went on this year with my church, the speaker passed out index cards to each of us, and asked us to write what we believe that God thinks when He thinks about us, and after the session, we went into our small groups.  While in our small groups, we were asked to share, if we were comfortable, what we had written on our index cards.  As we went around in our circle, reading out sentences out loud, my heart nearly broke at each of the negative beliefs.

It can be impossible to truly understand how deep God's love for us is.  He loves us no matter what.  No matter what we've done, no matter who we've been.  God loves us.  No.  Matter.  What.  God wants us no matter how broken we are, no matter how unworthy we feel.  He loved us when He created us, and so many years later, when sin had entered the world, He loved us enough to send His son to die on the cross in our place, and nothing, absolutely nothing, can change that.

Consider the story of the Prodigal Son, found in Luke 15:11-32.  The younger son takes his inheritance and leaves his father's house to go and squander the money, and years later he returns to his father's house, and the father immediately forgives him.  I think what is really amazing is found in verse 20:

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
 

Not only was the father able to accept his son back into his house, not only is he waiting outside for the son to arrive home, but he runs forward to meet his son and embrace him.  We are like the son, and God is the Father.  God isn't just waiting for us to come back to Him, He runs toward us with arms open wide the minute that we come into view. 

It doesn't matter how far away we were, it doesn't matter what we did while we were gone.  All that matters is that we've come back home, and God loves us no less than He did before we left.  He's waiting with open arms for us to return.

Jesus Loves Me

Sometimes being a Christian is hard.  Sometimes it can seem like there just isn't time for it, sometimes God can feel distant, sometimes we don't understand how things in this world can happen if God exists.  Sometimes we just don't get it.

And that is okay.

Some days, we are not meant to me the hard core Christians who have it all together.  Some days, the only thing that we can and have to cling to is the fact that Jesus loves us.  When we can't keep it all together, when we just feel like falling apart, we need to focus in on one thing that will always be true and will never change, Jesus's love for us.

Nobody is perfect, no matter how much we try to be.  But the good news is that Jesus took care of all of that for us.  He is there with open arms even when we're at our worst, and sometimes, we don't need to go any further than that.

Mark 10:13-16 say "And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them."

Children don't worry about the things that adults begin to worry about as they grow older.  Children accept ideas without question, a feat that can sometimes be all but impossible for an adult.  Children don't usually have a difficult time questioning God's love for them, and that is somethings special.

Jesus loves us, and that is forever true.

Give It All to God

I've probably written this on here a countless number of times, but I'll say it again, I am a worrier.  I stress myself out, and I get knots in my stomach over the smallest of things.  I've been a worry wart ever since I was a little kid, and I still remember times when my mom would tell me "Just give it all to God."

I worry over things that I can't control, and things that I can't change.  And I'll tell you, this time of year, I worry the most about the logistics for the mission trips that I've been attending with my youth group each year.  I worry about how the group dynamics will affect the trip, I worry about the drama that we'll carry there, start there, and bring back, I worry about who will be in my car and in my work group.  And it gets to a point where I'm just worrying in circles, but you know what?  I can't do anything about it.  Especially before the trip actually begins.

Last year was no different from any other year, and I had completely stressed myself out by the time we got to the trip.  As things played out on the very first day in Boston, I felt the knot in my stomach tighten and loosen multiple times.  And then, on Monday morning during devotions, I felt this overwhelming sense of peace come over me as I spoke to God.

"Lord, I have absolutely no idea what You're doing right now, and frankly, it scares me.  I don't like not knowing.  But what I do know is that You are all-knowing, and You have a plan for all of this.  So I'm just going to have to trust You.  I'm giving this worry to You.  Please, help me."

If I didn't just trust God, I would have let my worry and stress overwhelm me, and take over my trip.  My focus would have been on worrying, not on doing God's work.

I think that that happens a lot, that we let stress, or worry, or guilt, or sadness, or whatever emotion it is, take us over.  We can't do anything but wait and see how things turn out, but still, we frantically obsess. 

1 Peter 5:7 says "Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you."

God is there to take it all from us.  We just need to be willing to give it to Him.  We need to throw up our hands, and say "God, I can't do this without You, and I don't want to.  I need you to take this from me, and I need you to guide me."  God knows what He's doing, and once we get rid of our worries and give them to Him, He's going to do amazing things in our lives.