Time for God

Life gets busy sometimes.  It seems like there's always something that needs to be done, something that is next on the to-do list.  And when there isn't, there's TV, and Internet, and books, and journals, and all kinds of things to do to relax.  There's always friends and people to be around.  Time is always being filled.

When I made the transition from middle school to high school, I fell out of talking to God before I went to sleep.  I've never been coherent enough in the mornings to focus on Him, and with the start of high school bedtime turned into whenever I finish my homework, not after I've had time to read my Bible.  So I shouldn't have been all that surprised when I found that there was distance between God and me.

It wasn't that I decided that God was less important, consciously, at least, my prayer time just kind of...slipped away, I guess.  If you look back on all of my posts, there is a noticeable gap in the recent history, a gap during which I wasn't really making time to grow closer to God, so I had very little to share.  When prayer was no longer a part of my day to day life, it was only a matter of time until I couldn't write anymore, until I couldn't feel a purpose anymore.  God breathes life into me, and without Him, there is no life.

Starting to talk to God again, on a consistent basis, was the best thing that I have done recently.  I started a devotional reading plan on the YouVersion online/app based Bible, and starting taking some time to talk to God not only at night, but all throughout the day.  I'm making an effort to be in constant communication with Him.  Someone once told me that you are always moving when it comes to God, it's just a matter of whether you are moving towards Him, or away from Him.  For a while, I was moving away, but now I'm definitely getting closer to Him.

So today, I encourage you to make more time for God.  Do a daily devotional, read a Bible verse or two, take a few minutes to tell Him how your day is going, to thank Him for the blessings in your life, to ask for help in your trials.  He will breathe new life into you.

What I Know Now

I don't really know what to say about this song, except that it really spoke to me. The part that sticks out to me is the first part, to the "little girl, fourteen."  It describes a very common situation, and provides a lot of truth. 

I've spent a lot of my time this past year with a lot of amazing middle-schoolers.  I'm only a few years beyond middle school, but already I'm having moments of "if I only knew then what I know now."

I wish I could tell my middle school self to "put those magazines and makeup tutorials away, you aren't going to care very much about makeup in just a few years, anyway.  Go read or write.  You'll be wishing you had more time to do those things later on."

I wish I could tell that fourteen year old Abby to "stick with the friends who care, not the ones who constantly make you fight to keep them.  It's the ones who are comforting you on the sidelines who will be with you once you get into middle school."

I wish I could show that girl what studying looks like.  "You'll need those skills pretty soon."

I wish I could tell her "don't take the happy times for granted.  They aren't always going to be that way."

But then I wish I could remind her "the bad times aren't going to last forever.  Trust that God will bring you through whatever He brings you to."

I wish that I could tell her to "stop saying that you don't care what other people think, and work on actually believing it.  You can say that the grass isn't green as many times as you want, but that isn't going to change the truth."

Mostly, though, I wish I could tell her to "pay more attention to the adults around you.  They've been through it all before, they know what they're talking about.  Take it to heart."

Well, this isn't what I thought it would be at first.  I thought the song would have more to do with this post, but I guess it was just inspiration.  Maybe I'll talk about it again, later.  But I feel like I've said what I needed to say, anyway.

Fighting for Control

Jesus and I are wrestling for control of the steering wheel that is the directional for the car of my life.  It would seem as though I am winning, until I swerve into the left lane and oncoming traffic, but Jesus pulls car back into the right lane at the last moment.  This happens multiple times, until I finally get savvy to what He is doing, and begin to fight back again, even as He is saving my life.  One more close call, and I am fed up with His intervening in my driving, and jab His hands from the wheel with my elbow.  In that moment, though, I swerve the car in the opposite direction, and into a tree.  There is a sickening twist of metal, and the taste of iron in the back of my throat.  My body should be colliding with the tree with a sharp smack and cracking of bones, but something stops me, something protects me.  It is Jesus, throwing His own body over mine, to keep me from hurtling forward, as I should.  He, instead of I, takes the full force of the impact, and just like that, it is Jesus taking my place in the grave.

And given the opportunity, He would do it all over again.

My Autumn Rainbow

Last year, at this same time, I posted about this very same tree.  Time goes on, and yet another year flies by.  I remember watching this tree change, the leaves darkening into deep blood reds and pumpkin oranges.

It's the most beautiful tree that I saw, by far, two years ago, and now it stands as a sign to me that God never leaves my side.  As the perfectionist walls that I built so carefully around myself in 2010 came crashing down, my self-worth with it, this tree was being taken up in the flames of Fall.  I didn't know it at the time, but I would need God more than ever that year.

Eventually the year had passed, and I grew from the experience, however dreadful it may have been.  Then Autumn 2011 came around, and the tree began to change again.  The first time I noticed the leaves were no longer green, it was as though God was speaking to me, reminding me that He's here every moment of every day with me.  His message was so loud and clear, a symbolic version of Moses' burning bush, if you will.

And now it's year three of this beauty, and God is reminding me of His everlasting presence in my life yet again.  The changing of the tree is serving as a rainbow in my life, a promise from God, just as after the forty year flood and Noah's Ark.

This orange and red rainbow reminds me not of the worst times of my life, but of the way God worked and healed me throughout that.  God never leaves, He never forsakes, and He always loves.