Put it in its Place

This semester I have had a constant whisper from that still small voice: "Put it in its place."

Worrying about school?  About work?  About money?  About illness?  About politics?  About time?

Put it in its place.

God did not create us to live anxious, worry filled lives.  He created us to live lives full in Him.  God didn't declare "You shall have no other gods before me" (Exodus 20:3) for His benefit, but for our benefit.

When you worry, are you elevating the subject of your anxiety to a place that it doesn't deserve to hold?  There is a place in our lives for worry, for work, for studying, for money, for political analysis.  There is a place for most of what we fill our lives with, but where it becomes harmful is when we make it more important than it is.  Put it in its place.

For me, this semester, it's one of my classes.  It's a business simulation that runs on a weekly schedule, where competition results come out on Sunday night at 9PM and then we spend the rest of the week analyzing what happened in the simulation and making decisions for the next week.  It is one of those things that could truly never be done.  No matter how much time I put in from week to week, there is always more analysis that I could be doing, more calculations that I could make.  When I get caught up in the simulation I can easily spend several hours doing nothing but staring at the computer screen and moving numbers around.  Do I get any fulfillment from this?  No.  Does it make me a better person?  No.  Does extensive analysis help me to learn the class objectives better?  No.  Could my team do better if I were to do nothing but look at these simulation results?  Maybe.

It's in these times when I am so caught up in this simulation or other classwork that God tells me to step back and put this class in its place.  I wasn't created for this class.  This class does have a purpose, but elevating it to a level outside of its rightful place in my life does nothing beneficial to my learning or to my character development.

For the first eight weeks of this class my team consistently was not seeing results that matched up with the amount of time and effort we were putting into the simulation.  I felt beaten down and exhausted by this class, and by the time week eight rolled around I was ready to quit, feeling pretty bad about myself and my abilities.  Together with my team and professor I put a final push into week eight, exerting more time and energy on this simulation than any week before, vowing that I would do nothing but the bare minimum from there on out if the week eight results weren't better.

Week Eight was a roaring success.  The results came out Sunday at 9PM, as per usual, and I was overjoyed.  A funny thing happened as the week went on, though.  After the initial excitement, this success didn't fulfill me, and much like our prior failures didn't define me, this success didn't either.  I laughed at God when I realized that even though I had been trying to listen to Him all semester and put this class in its place, I really had believed that everything in my life would align and go well once this class went well.  But that wasn't true, and even with this personal "win" I still had to put the class in its place.

The only thing that defines us is Christ's love for us, not anything that we can do or say in this life.  When facets of life begin to take over, don't let them.  Keep them where they belong, and keep your eye on the prize (or, rather, gift): eternal life with our Savior.  Worry as necessary, work as necessary, study as necessary, but don't let any of those things take over.  Put it in its place.

Finding Perfect Peace

I started praying about peace in March, after taking a grueling midterm by which I felt trampled.  I've gotten significantly better at not finding my identity in test scores and grades since the start of this blog in middle school, but I am not perfect.  This class was a night class, meaning that we met only once a week on Monday evenings. 

The Thursday after taking the midterm I was walking around the quad, killing some time between lunch and my biology lab, praying about this exam.  I was so panicked, so frustrated, that this would be the black mark on my transcript, and I felt God asking me "So what?  So what if you didn't do well?" and I felt this peace fall over me as I realized that the score I received on that midterm really did not matter.  It did not matter in the sense that it does not define me or change me in God's eyes, and it did not matter in the sense that it would not impact my future unless it was part of God's plan.  If God wants me to be somewhere in the future, a poor midterm grade will not stop Him from bringing me there.

From there on out I saw signs of God's sovereignty and felt His perfect peace countless times, and so when I began a short devotional study that encouraged its readers to choose one word to focus on for a year, God gave me the word "Peace".  At first I thought this was great, I would no longer be filled with anxiety and stress on a regular basis, and I would find my rest in the Lord.  Then I realized that when God wants to change you, it isn't that easy.  It's easy to ask Him to take away worry and replace it with peace, but it isn't easy to find peace in conflict with those around me, or to have peaceful thoughts towards a driver who cuts me off. 

I remember a Bible study, several years ago, in which one of the leaders told my peers and I that she had been praying for more patience.  She shared that she expected God to give her greater patience, but instead God gave her a greater number of frustrating situations.  At first she fell into the frustrations and continuously lost her patience, then she realized that God was giving her these situations to practice being calm and patient.  Prayer and developing as a Christian is not a genie-in-a-bottle-your-wish-is-my-command relationship with God, it's one of continual development, guiding, molding, and shaping.

When I consciously began focusing on peace about a week and a half ago, I expected God to take away my stresses and show me how to find peace in Him, but He is showing me all kinds of ways to express peace, and bringing me into all kinds of situations in which I need to find peace.  Asking God to grow me isn't an easy process, but I am sure that it is worth it.  I had been focusing on Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus," but I needed to look to the verse before it, Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  God provides, but I must turn to Him and do my part as well. 

Peace is not just a feeling, but a way of living, and God is teaching me that through hands-on experiences.  I don't always succeed in these tests, in fact I hardly have thus far.  I don't realize that He's trying to mold me until after the fact, but I will grow, and He will lead me.  Is God calling you to grow in some area?  Choosing a fruit of the spirit to focus on is a great way to start: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).  It won't always be easy, but it will be worth it.

No Motivation? The King is Calling!

I don't post here often enough because, quite often, when I sit down to write the inspiration just doesn't strike.  I usually try to force some words out and put together the semblance of a blog post, but it all sounds unnatural and wrong, so I backspace and stare at a blank screen for a while before giving up. 

Sometimes this upsets me and throws me into moments of doubt.  When I started this blog I could feel God inspiring me all the time, sometimes several times a week, or even more than once a day, but it just doesn't come that way anymore.  Do I not pray enough?  Am I reading the wrong Bible verses?  Am I not listening for God throughout the day?  I panic.  Why doesn't this come easily anymore?

I'm beginning to find that motivation and inspiration for many things in my life may not always come easily, but I have to push through it and make it work anyway.  I have to write English term papers whether or not any of the works from class inspired a literary argument in my mind.  I have to find a way to push myself through a workout whether or not I have much motivation that day.  And I should sit down and think about how God is working in my life and the world around me and take time to formulate it into words even when it doesn't come easily.

This blog has been such a gift throughout my formative years, in that it caused me to think deeply about God's presence in my life and how He was working on me, and I am so blessed that He used it to not only help me, but to reach others.  Now is my time to be faithful to Him and continue listening and using this gift that He's given me despite His voice only seeming to be a whisper.

What gifts has God given you to further His Kingdom?  Are you using them to the fullest to serve Him and those around you?  God calls each of us to serve Him in different ways, and we must answer His call to us even when we lose the motivation and inspiration.  He is constantly calling you to something, even if it isn't what you want to do or be.  He's never going to let you waste your life.  If it feels like He isn't calling you to anything listener longer and harder.  I know that He's going to use you for something great, even if you have little motivation, desire, or even ability to do it.  He will provide.  He will call.  His Kingdom will be grown.

Time for God

Life gets busy sometimes.  It seems like there's always something that needs to be done, something that is next on the to-do list.  And when there isn't, there's TV, and Internet, and books, and journals, and all kinds of things to do to relax.  There's always friends and people to be around.  Time is always being filled.

When I made the transition from middle school to high school, I fell out of talking to God before I went to sleep.  I've never been coherent enough in the mornings to focus on Him, and with the start of high school bedtime turned into whenever I finish my homework, not after I've had time to read my Bible.  So I shouldn't have been all that surprised when I found that there was distance between God and me.

It wasn't that I decided that God was less important, consciously, at least, my prayer time just kind of...slipped away, I guess.  If you look back on all of my posts, there is a noticeable gap in the recent history, a gap during which I wasn't really making time to grow closer to God, so I had very little to share.  When prayer was no longer a part of my day to day life, it was only a matter of time until I couldn't write anymore, until I couldn't feel a purpose anymore.  God breathes life into me, and without Him, there is no life.

Starting to talk to God again, on a consistent basis, was the best thing that I have done recently.  I started a devotional reading plan on the YouVersion online/app based Bible, and starting taking some time to talk to God not only at night, but all throughout the day.  I'm making an effort to be in constant communication with Him.  Someone once told me that you are always moving when it comes to God, it's just a matter of whether you are moving towards Him, or away from Him.  For a while, I was moving away, but now I'm definitely getting closer to Him.

So today, I encourage you to make more time for God.  Do a daily devotional, read a Bible verse or two, take a few minutes to tell Him how your day is going, to thank Him for the blessings in your life, to ask for help in your trials.  He will breathe new life into you.