The Sinful and The Saved

My boyfriend and I began on the endeavor of reading the Bible in its entirety in a year on August 1, and we chose a reading plan that spread out the Old and New Testaments, as well as Psalms.  One of the passages for the first day was Matthew 1.

In the past, I have skimmed over the first chapter of Matthew, assuming that there wasn't much wisdom to be gleaned from this particular section, as it is mostly a list of names.  Newly inspired to read every individual word that God has given us in the Bible, I read it word for word this time and discovered something that I had never noticed before.  The second part of verse six reads "David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah's wife," (Matthew 1:6).

The lineage of Jesus not only includes several adulterers, but it makes direct reference to the adultery that had taken place at the beginning of David and Bathsheba's relationship by saying that Bathsheba (the mother of Solomon) "had been Uriah's wife."  David and Bathsheba's sin is described in 2 Solomon, chapter 11, in which David and Bathsheba commit adultery together while her husband is away at war.  When she conceives of a child, David devises a plan to have Uriah, Bathsheba's husband, sleep with her so that nobody will know of their sin.  When Uriah refuses to do so David has him put on the front lines of the war to be killed so that David may marry Bathsheba.

David and Bathsheba experience the grace and forgiveness of God in 2 Solomon 12:24-25 with the birth of their son, Solomon, whom God loved.  The birth of Solomon shows that God's purposes will prevail, even in our sin, and that we are never too far from God to receive His grace.

The inclusion of this relationship in the genealogy of Jesus Christ shows us that God is bigger than anything we can every do wrong.  He is not ashamed of us, He loves us and will use us if we ask Him and are willing, even in our deepest sins.  God does not expect us to be perfect, He is fully aware that we are not capable of living sinless lives, and that does not prevent Him from using us, even in our moments of sin.  David and Bathsheba's originally sinful relation is in the direct line of Jesus Christ, the Savior from sin.

We are sinful and we are saved, and God can use every part of our story for His glory.

Finding Perfect Peace

I started praying about peace in March, after taking a grueling midterm by which I felt trampled.  I've gotten significantly better at not finding my identity in test scores and grades since the start of this blog in middle school, but I am not perfect.  This class was a night class, meaning that we met only once a week on Monday evenings. 

The Thursday after taking the midterm I was walking around the quad, killing some time between lunch and my biology lab, praying about this exam.  I was so panicked, so frustrated, that this would be the black mark on my transcript, and I felt God asking me "So what?  So what if you didn't do well?" and I felt this peace fall over me as I realized that the score I received on that midterm really did not matter.  It did not matter in the sense that it does not define me or change me in God's eyes, and it did not matter in the sense that it would not impact my future unless it was part of God's plan.  If God wants me to be somewhere in the future, a poor midterm grade will not stop Him from bringing me there.

From there on out I saw signs of God's sovereignty and felt His perfect peace countless times, and so when I began a short devotional study that encouraged its readers to choose one word to focus on for a year, God gave me the word "Peace".  At first I thought this was great, I would no longer be filled with anxiety and stress on a regular basis, and I would find my rest in the Lord.  Then I realized that when God wants to change you, it isn't that easy.  It's easy to ask Him to take away worry and replace it with peace, but it isn't easy to find peace in conflict with those around me, or to have peaceful thoughts towards a driver who cuts me off. 

I remember a Bible study, several years ago, in which one of the leaders told my peers and I that she had been praying for more patience.  She shared that she expected God to give her greater patience, but instead God gave her a greater number of frustrating situations.  At first she fell into the frustrations and continuously lost her patience, then she realized that God was giving her these situations to practice being calm and patient.  Prayer and developing as a Christian is not a genie-in-a-bottle-your-wish-is-my-command relationship with God, it's one of continual development, guiding, molding, and shaping.

When I consciously began focusing on peace about a week and a half ago, I expected God to take away my stresses and show me how to find peace in Him, but He is showing me all kinds of ways to express peace, and bringing me into all kinds of situations in which I need to find peace.  Asking God to grow me isn't an easy process, but I am sure that it is worth it.  I had been focusing on Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus," but I needed to look to the verse before it, Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  God provides, but I must turn to Him and do my part as well. 

Peace is not just a feeling, but a way of living, and God is teaching me that through hands-on experiences.  I don't always succeed in these tests, in fact I hardly have thus far.  I don't realize that He's trying to mold me until after the fact, but I will grow, and He will lead me.  Is God calling you to grow in some area?  Choosing a fruit of the spirit to focus on is a great way to start: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).  It won't always be easy, but it will be worth it.

Not How It's Meant to Be

This isn't how it was supposed to be.  This world is broken and full of evil, and this isn't how it was supposed to be.  Love is abused, the good and the young die painful deaths, and sex is used to manipulate and hurt.  Where is God in all of this?

My roommate and I were discussing one of our Humanities Core classes that deals with worldviews and difficult topics of our time such as abortion and euthanasia, and our conversation strayed to why the world contains so much evil inside of things that were designed to be good, specifically when it came to sex.  I asked her if she thought that there was sex before the Fall of Man, and we agreed that there was, because man was designed to reproduce from the start and we cited Adam and Eve in Genesis 2:24-25 "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.  Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."  We had the realization that though in our post-Fall society sex is often abused and sinful it wasn't designed to be that way.  I said "this isn't how it was supposed to be" and all of a sudden so many things clicked into place for me.

God created life to be beautiful, He wanted man to live in perfect harmony with Himself, one another, and the rest of creation.  But Satan in the form of the serpent stepped in and altered that order, causing evil to enter the world.  God never intended for the world to be this way.  The story of man since Genesis 3:8 has been God's work to redeem us.  He loves us and doesn't want to see us hurt, but we constantly hurt ourselves, and just by nature of living in a fallen world evil is part of our lives and is part of who we are.  That is, it is a part of who we are except for God's Redeeming Grace through Jesus Christ.

God  can use the evil in the world for His purposes, to help us to grow and to guide us to Him, but He did not cause this evil.  Man in conjunction with Satan brought this evil into the world, and then our free will continues to let it intertwine with our lives.  God's heart breaks when we are in unnecessary pain caused by the evil that He did not bring into the world.  Good things are made bad because this world is not how it was supposed to be.  This was not the original plan.  This isn't how it's supposed to be.

When we pass on from this life and enter into Heaven by God's Grace we will see how the world was meant to be.  We will meet with utter perfection.  For now, though, God has a purpose for each one of us in this fallen world in order to guide as many of us as will accept His redeeming salvation into Paradise, into the Heaven that God intended.