Put it in its Place

This semester I have had a constant whisper from that still small voice: "Put it in its place."

Worrying about school?  About work?  About money?  About illness?  About politics?  About time?

Put it in its place.

God did not create us to live anxious, worry filled lives.  He created us to live lives full in Him.  God didn't declare "You shall have no other gods before me" (Exodus 20:3) for His benefit, but for our benefit.

When you worry, are you elevating the subject of your anxiety to a place that it doesn't deserve to hold?  There is a place in our lives for worry, for work, for studying, for money, for political analysis.  There is a place for most of what we fill our lives with, but where it becomes harmful is when we make it more important than it is.  Put it in its place.

For me, this semester, it's one of my classes.  It's a business simulation that runs on a weekly schedule, where competition results come out on Sunday night at 9PM and then we spend the rest of the week analyzing what happened in the simulation and making decisions for the next week.  It is one of those things that could truly never be done.  No matter how much time I put in from week to week, there is always more analysis that I could be doing, more calculations that I could make.  When I get caught up in the simulation I can easily spend several hours doing nothing but staring at the computer screen and moving numbers around.  Do I get any fulfillment from this?  No.  Does it make me a better person?  No.  Does extensive analysis help me to learn the class objectives better?  No.  Could my team do better if I were to do nothing but look at these simulation results?  Maybe.

It's in these times when I am so caught up in this simulation or other classwork that God tells me to step back and put this class in its place.  I wasn't created for this class.  This class does have a purpose, but elevating it to a level outside of its rightful place in my life does nothing beneficial to my learning or to my character development.

For the first eight weeks of this class my team consistently was not seeing results that matched up with the amount of time and effort we were putting into the simulation.  I felt beaten down and exhausted by this class, and by the time week eight rolled around I was ready to quit, feeling pretty bad about myself and my abilities.  Together with my team and professor I put a final push into week eight, exerting more time and energy on this simulation than any week before, vowing that I would do nothing but the bare minimum from there on out if the week eight results weren't better.

Week Eight was a roaring success.  The results came out Sunday at 9PM, as per usual, and I was overjoyed.  A funny thing happened as the week went on, though.  After the initial excitement, this success didn't fulfill me, and much like our prior failures didn't define me, this success didn't either.  I laughed at God when I realized that even though I had been trying to listen to Him all semester and put this class in its place, I really had believed that everything in my life would align and go well once this class went well.  But that wasn't true, and even with this personal "win" I still had to put the class in its place.

The only thing that defines us is Christ's love for us, not anything that we can do or say in this life.  When facets of life begin to take over, don't let them.  Keep them where they belong, and keep your eye on the prize (or, rather, gift): eternal life with our Savior.  Worry as necessary, work as necessary, study as necessary, but don't let any of those things take over.  Put it in its place.

Finding Perfect Peace

I started praying about peace in March, after taking a grueling midterm by which I felt trampled.  I've gotten significantly better at not finding my identity in test scores and grades since the start of this blog in middle school, but I am not perfect.  This class was a night class, meaning that we met only once a week on Monday evenings. 

The Thursday after taking the midterm I was walking around the quad, killing some time between lunch and my biology lab, praying about this exam.  I was so panicked, so frustrated, that this would be the black mark on my transcript, and I felt God asking me "So what?  So what if you didn't do well?" and I felt this peace fall over me as I realized that the score I received on that midterm really did not matter.  It did not matter in the sense that it does not define me or change me in God's eyes, and it did not matter in the sense that it would not impact my future unless it was part of God's plan.  If God wants me to be somewhere in the future, a poor midterm grade will not stop Him from bringing me there.

From there on out I saw signs of God's sovereignty and felt His perfect peace countless times, and so when I began a short devotional study that encouraged its readers to choose one word to focus on for a year, God gave me the word "Peace".  At first I thought this was great, I would no longer be filled with anxiety and stress on a regular basis, and I would find my rest in the Lord.  Then I realized that when God wants to change you, it isn't that easy.  It's easy to ask Him to take away worry and replace it with peace, but it isn't easy to find peace in conflict with those around me, or to have peaceful thoughts towards a driver who cuts me off. 

I remember a Bible study, several years ago, in which one of the leaders told my peers and I that she had been praying for more patience.  She shared that she expected God to give her greater patience, but instead God gave her a greater number of frustrating situations.  At first she fell into the frustrations and continuously lost her patience, then she realized that God was giving her these situations to practice being calm and patient.  Prayer and developing as a Christian is not a genie-in-a-bottle-your-wish-is-my-command relationship with God, it's one of continual development, guiding, molding, and shaping.

When I consciously began focusing on peace about a week and a half ago, I expected God to take away my stresses and show me how to find peace in Him, but He is showing me all kinds of ways to express peace, and bringing me into all kinds of situations in which I need to find peace.  Asking God to grow me isn't an easy process, but I am sure that it is worth it.  I had been focusing on Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus," but I needed to look to the verse before it, Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  God provides, but I must turn to Him and do my part as well. 

Peace is not just a feeling, but a way of living, and God is teaching me that through hands-on experiences.  I don't always succeed in these tests, in fact I hardly have thus far.  I don't realize that He's trying to mold me until after the fact, but I will grow, and He will lead me.  Is God calling you to grow in some area?  Choosing a fruit of the spirit to focus on is a great way to start: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).  It won't always be easy, but it will be worth it.

For me, to live is Christ

This song has been hugely active in my faith this past year.  The first time I heard it was a week after moving into college last year for my freshman year.  I was homesick and longing for someone to talk to who I had known longer than a week, and found myself sitting on a step behind the Chapel.  I could hear the song being performed inside, but I had no clue why, as there were no events being held in the Chapel at that time.  Now, looking back, I know it was one of the worship teams preparing for their weekly Thursday night worship, but at the time all I knew was that it was sent from God.

I've found that the words in "Let it Be Jesus" by Christy Nockels is a prayer that works as praise for joyous times and as a cry out to God in hard times, because no matter what it rings true.  So often I want to take credit for my blessings and successes and I want to control my struggles, but I have to give it all to God.  He is the Light and the Guide.

If you're going through a high in life, I encourage you to listen to this song and praise God for your blessings.  Take a moment to remember that it's all about Jesus and His victory on the cross, and use the blessings that He's bestowed upon you to glorify Him.

If you're going through a valley of life, listen to this song and cry out to God.  Ask Him to glorify Christ through your sufferings and to use them to His purposes, even if it's really hard to understand now.  Try to focus on God's sovereignty, and know that He loves you more than you could ever hope to comprehend.  Keep your eyes turned towards Him and He'll bring you inner peace and use this situation to His purposes.

Even if you're not going through a valley or a high, and you're in a middle ground of life, listen to the song and pray for God to make your thoughts and actions Christ-centered.  I've found that the middle-periods of my life are the times where it is easiest to get complacent in my walk with God, because I feel as though I don't need His comfort, and the blessings He's given me seem less obvious.

Let it be Jesus.

A Team Sport

I've just felt an immense urge to write about this, and I can't hold it back, so I'm just going to let my fingers fly across the keys, and let God lead them.

The above song, as well as this quote (from the To Write Love on Her Arm facebook page), popped up on my phone right in a row "I needed someone to tell me 'you're gonna get through this' . . . to mean it, to really want to help me." and I think that this is God speaking to each of us. We need to be there for the people around us. No matter how close we are to any given person.

I think that sometimes it can be easiest to forget to be there for the people who we are extremely close to. We just grow to expect things to be a certain way, and we don't think much of it. We expect everything in a usually optimistic person's life to be fine and dandy, and we tune out the negative complaints of a usually pessimistic friend because we think everything they are complaining about is really no big deal. But what if we listened? What if we honestly asked our friends how they were doing? Would we get the answer that we expected?

I don't know. I'm sure that sometimes we do get an answer that we would expect, but I'm also pretty sure that too often we would get an answer that we didn't see coming. Do we really know the people closest to us? Just knowing someones favorite color and shoe size, what makes them laugh and what makes them cry, doesn't mean a thing if they are dying inside and we miss it.

And sometimes we are sure that our friends would come to us if they really needed us, but I don't believe that that is always the case. Maybe they don't want to put more weight on our shoulders, maybe they don't want to show any signs of weakness, maybe they, as I had done for so long, thought that they needed to be perfect, and letting down their defenses was equivalent to messing up. We can't always trust that the people who we are closest to would come to us when they needed us.

There is another side to that, as well, though. When you are falling apart, and you feel as though nothing is ever going to go right in your life, talk to the people around you. Don't go through all of the pain in life alone. God put us here together for a reason, He didn't want us to live this life on Earth alone. And that brings us to another point, don't ever lose hope, because even when it seems like all is lost, God is still there, cheering you on, wiping your tears away, telling you that you can do it. We just need to listen.

Listen to your friends, and let your friends listen to you. This thing called life is a team sport.

Our Amazing God: The Screenplays of Our Lives

This isn't how you planned it, is it? Because this surely isn't how I planned it.

That screenplay that I wrote just isn't turning out how it was supposed to. Yeah, that test grade was supposed to be an A. And my alarm should have woken me up on time. Oh, don't forget that my social life should be perfect, my friends shouldn't stir up drama, and I shouldn't have to be choosing between the lesser of two evils. My life wasn't supposed to be this complicated!

Don't we all find ourselves screaming at God sometimes, whether it be in confusion, or anger, or whatever, about how our lives should have been different. That they should have turned out exactly as we wanted, not this confusing thing filled with rights and wrongs and futures and pasts? School, work, church, everything should be a breeze, right? Everything should be as it is in the script of our minds.

Well, as I'm learning, that just isn't how the Lord works. God always has something bigger in mind than what we can even imagine. He is always answering our prayers, just maybe not in the way we thought He would. Maybe it is a "yes", maybe it's a "not yet", or maybe it's an "I have something better planned". The question is, are we willing to accept how God answers us?

If we don't accept anything but a "yes" to our prayers, of course it's going to seem like God hasn't heard our prayers. I know that I have this picture perfect movie life planned for myself, and as much as I yearn for my life to turn out like this, I can almost guarantee that I will not have the life that plays in my head. God is going to throw things in my path that I'm not expecting, and if I'm willing, He's going to use each and everything that He places in my life for a purpose. That goes for each and every person placed in this beautiful world.

God's plan for our lives isn't the same plan that we have for our own lives, but His is most definitely the best plan to follow.

Gratitude Journal-Day 5

Gratitude Journal-Day 5

Today was one of those days that you just don't know where the day went. I'm thankful for these types of days though, because they allow you to take a break from business, and just relax for a little while. I'm grateful for the time that I've had to relax and replenish my energy this week off of school. Often times I let myself get so busy and so overbooked, and I get extremely stressed, it is weeks like this when I am able to remind myself that "This too shall pass".

I tend to worry very often, about things that aren't worth worrying over. Recently though, God has been giving me comfort, and teaching me to that I can always turn to Him. I haven't been as worried lately, and I am so grateful for that.