A Tribute to My Girls

My friends and I are at the age when we are going to Sweet 16 parties practically every weekend, and tonight I was at one of those parties.

Going from middle school to high school was, well, difficult, to say the least. It still is tough at times, mostly because of how much I hate change (I'm working on it, I promise). It seems like everything is entirely different. Classes, people, scheduling, weekends, homework, friends, everything. But tonight I felt a little bit of the past at the party with us.


We sat around and talked, we danced, we sang, we laughed at each other, we laughed at ourselves, and we laughed at things that weren't even remotely funny. We had a genuinely good time. And it was in these moments, dancing as though nobody was watching, laughing so obnoxiously loud but not caring, that I realized how much these girls and I have been through together.

I've been together with some of these girls since elementary school, and some since middle school, and together we made it through all of the trials that came with our different phases. It was with these girls that I played tag on the playground at recess in elementary school, these girls who I studied and laughed with in middle school. We would find each other crying in the bathrooms at school, and immediately know what was wrong, we would comfort one another. We stayed up into all hours of the night giggling over magazines and boys, playing truth or dare, eating whatever we wanted at sleep overs.

We taught each other how to do cart wheels in the sixth grade when we decided that we were going to try out to be cheerleaders, we walked for hours together at Relay for Life all three years of middle school, we laughed until our stomachs hurt at lunch. We passed notes during boring classes, and we (accidentally) threw an open water bottle across the room in eighth grade Social Studies (maybe that's why the teacher didn't like me, heh heh), we were brutally honest with each other, and we cheered when casts finally came off.

We claimed "countries" when friends started to fight (I've been Switzerland since fifth grade. Switzerland is mine ;).), we went through phases when we listened to one song on repeat for months, we made countless "movies" in each others houses, each with countless costumes and plot lines.

Now, don't get me wrong, we've had our share of arguments, but we've always made it through them together. We've been furious with people that we haven't even met for hurting our friend, and we've seen each other's personalities change and develop, and we've learned to love each other for who we are at any given moment, not who we've been or who we'll become.

Together, we're cooky and crazy, we're loud and obnoxious. We're ready for anything, because when elementary and middle school brought us together, we were brought together for good. So, thank you to My Girls for being one of the few constants in an ever changing life <3

Confessions of a Momentary Insomniac

For the past few nights, I just haven't been able to sleep. I've been up until at least 12:30 every morning, and usually later into one or two o'clock. I've tossed, I've turned, but not once did I finally sit up, and give in to the fact that I wasn't going to be able to sleep anytime soon, until tonight.

It's been a couple of weeks since I've taken time to talk to God, and I honestly can't tell you why. It isn't like I've been too busy. But for the past couple of days I've been feeling that need to pray, but every time I would start to, I would get distracted and forget what I was doing. There was something that God needed to get through my head, and I just wouldn't listen.

So earlier tonight, as I tossed and turned, I finally just gave up. I sat up in my bed, and had that urge to pray again, and this time, I did. I told God all about what's been happening in my life lately (not much), and all about how I've been feeling. I told him everything. And I heard something in reply.

For months now, I've been bottling up hatred and anger, I've been holding a grudge that became the only thing I could see. This evening I was at a friend's house, and we were talking about the person who I've been holding a multi-month-long grudge against, and I can't really tell you that we were saying pleasant things. It seemed as though everyone was joining in, but then one of our friends had the courage to stand up and say that this wasn't okay with him, that it wasn't right to be talking about this person that way. And I felt a little badly, but mostly I felt like I had been slapped across the face. That person had hurt me a lot, and now my friend was standing up for him? My anger flared for a few moments, and simmered back down rather quickly, but I hadn't felt much remorse until I spoke to God.

God showed me that forgiveness truly is key. My friend who told us all that it was time to stop was right, and he knew what he was talking about. That probably took a lot of courage, and I know that God was working through him right there. As God opened my eyes to all of this late tonight, it was like I was looking into a mirror, and I know that I did not like what I saw. I was filled to the brim with anger and pain, and I allowed it to cover everything else up. Tears welled up in my eyes as I picked up my cell phone to text my friend who had stood up, to thank him for being God's hands and feet in showing me, well, a lot of things.

As I write this tonight, or rather, this morning, I'm reminded of two of my previous posts, "Stress Fractures" and "Forgiving and Forgetting". I let my little stress fractures build and build, piling one upon another, some were larger than others, until that's the only thing that was there. I thought that this no longer bothered me, but I can see now that I was wrong. All I had done before to help myself was bury it in the sand.

And I also thought that I had forgiven the person we had been talking about. But God asked my if I had forgotten. And I could not say yes. I've withheld true forgiveness for almost ten months now, and it has done me no good. Maybe I needed that time to reflect, to think, but I don't know if I've used it as well as I should have. I guess I still have a lot of forgiving to do this summer, and you know what? I don't mind doing it anymore.

I know that there have been several points to this one post, but I have just one more to share tonight. God's grace amazes me continuously. He's been sending me little messages for days, maybe even weeks, that I've been ignoring, but He never gave up. Tonight He worked through my friend to give me a wake up call, and I know that He works in all different ways, sometimes very mysterious ways. So thank you, Lord, for working all hours, even at 1:30 in the morning, and for never, ever giving up.

We Are Family

Yeah, I know, I just got that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day, didn't I? Well good, it's a pretty nice song to be singing for a long time.

So today was a very...confusing day. But no matter, we learn a lot on the most confusing days don't we? Anyway, a lot was going on, and a lot of it could have pulled me and my friends apart a lot, or possibly have hurt one or many of us. Despite the challenges that we were being put through, though, we stuck together, and I'm extremely proud of everybody today. One of my best friends in the world said something this afternoon that made me smile stupidly for such a long time. I was so proud of her, our whole group of friends, and the amazing bonds that we share.

"Our group is a family, and we stick together through everything." It may seem like a simple statement, but it really was a sign to me during a really cloudy day, both literally and figuratively. Her comment was so true, and it made me realize how truly awesome our friendships really were. We protect each other and stick together through thick and thin, and that's how it's always going to be, no matter what.

I thank God so, so much for these people in my life. They hold me up through so much, and are truly gifts from Heaven. God has already given us the tools we need to get through so much in our lives, and we don't even recognize them most of the time. So let's take at least a few moments today to thank God for the amazing gifts that he has given us.

Gratitude Journal-Day 3

Gratitude Journal-Day 3

Today I'm really thankful for people. People who I don't know, people I do, I'm just thankful that God put us all here in this world together. Today I went to a flea market with two of my best friends, and there was a man there selling phone cases, he had cases for all three of our phones, and he was really nice. It made my day seeing somebody in such an upbeat mood!

I'm really grateful for the ability to solve conflicts. God sends us little trials to get closer to Him, and He also gives us the ability to overcome the trials. It's not always noticeable, but there is always a way out. "This, too, shall pass"