Sometimes our lives can be easy-breazy, and pure bliss, and other times we find that we are going through a horrific challenge. Up until now I thought that these challenges were always tests, or lessons, at least, from God, but now I'm beginning to think that there is a third option.
During these happy, blissful easy times in our lives, we are being built up. Life is easy, and there is plenty of time to learn and to focus on who we are as a person. We're being taught lessons of love and acceptance, we're given momentary gifts of happiness. And then when it all comes crashing down we don't realize that maybe, just maybe, God hasn't done all of this to test us, or to teach us more, but maybe, God has done this because it is our turn the be the teachers.
Now it's our turn to go out into the world, and to teach others what it's like to know God, to give the gift of bliss to the next person, and eventually, you'll find more happiness in this than you've ever known before. We can't blame God for taking away what we've taken for granted. When we lose people we love, or people change, we can't spend so much time wondering why, but spending our time being that type of person that people don't want to lose.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this. In difficult times, don't spend forever grieving, go out and make those wonderful times for others. Eventually it'll come back around to you, and it'll be there to stay.
Showing posts with label gifts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gifts. Show all posts
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Friday, August 5, 2011
Confessions of a Momentary Insomniac
For the past few nights, I just haven't been able to sleep. I've been up until at least 12:30 every morning, and usually later into one or two o'clock. I've tossed, I've turned, but not once did I finally sit up, and give in to the fact that I wasn't going to be able to sleep anytime soon, until tonight.
It's been a couple of weeks since I've taken time to talk to God, and I honestly can't tell you why. It isn't like I've been too busy. But for the past couple of days I've been feeling that need to pray, but every time I would start to, I would get distracted and forget what I was doing. There was something that God needed to get through my head, and I just wouldn't listen.
So earlier tonight, as I tossed and turned, I finally just gave up. I sat up in my bed, and had that urge to pray again, and this time, I did. I told God all about what's been happening in my life lately (not much), and all about how I've been feeling. I told him everything. And I heard something in reply.
For months now, I've been bottling up hatred and anger, I've been holding a grudge that became the only thing I could see. This evening I was at a friend's house, and we were talking about the person who I've been holding a multi-month-long grudge against, and I can't really tell you that we were saying pleasant things. It seemed as though everyone was joining in, but then one of our friends had the courage to stand up and say that this wasn't okay with him, that it wasn't right to be talking about this person that way. And I felt a little badly, but mostly I felt like I had been slapped across the face. That person had hurt me a lot, and now my friend was standing up for him? My anger flared for a few moments, and simmered back down rather quickly, but I hadn't felt much remorse until I spoke to God.
God showed me that forgiveness truly is key. My friend who told us all that it was time to stop was right, and he knew what he was talking about. That probably took a lot of courage, and I know that God was working through him right there. As God opened my eyes to all of this late tonight, it was like I was looking into a mirror, and I know that I did not like what I saw. I was filled to the brim with anger and pain, and I allowed it to cover everything else up. Tears welled up in my eyes as I picked up my cell phone to text my friend who had stood up, to thank him for being God's hands and feet in showing me, well, a lot of things.
As I write this tonight, or rather, this morning, I'm reminded of two of my previous posts, "Stress Fractures" and "Forgiving and Forgetting". I let my little stress fractures build and build, piling one upon another, some were larger than others, until that's the only thing that was there. I thought that this no longer bothered me, but I can see now that I was wrong. All I had done before to help myself was bury it in the sand.
And I also thought that I had forgiven the person we had been talking about. But God asked my if I had forgotten. And I could not say yes. I've withheld true forgiveness for almost ten months now, and it has done me no good. Maybe I needed that time to reflect, to think, but I don't know if I've used it as well as I should have. I guess I still have a lot of forgiving to do this summer, and you know what? I don't mind doing it anymore.
I know that there have been several points to this one post, but I have just one more to share tonight. God's grace amazes me continuously. He's been sending me little messages for days, maybe even weeks, that I've been ignoring, but He never gave up. Tonight He worked through my friend to give me a wake up call, and I know that He works in all different ways, sometimes very mysterious ways. So thank you, Lord, for working all hours, even at 1:30 in the morning, and for never, ever giving up.
It's been a couple of weeks since I've taken time to talk to God, and I honestly can't tell you why. It isn't like I've been too busy. But for the past couple of days I've been feeling that need to pray, but every time I would start to, I would get distracted and forget what I was doing. There was something that God needed to get through my head, and I just wouldn't listen.
So earlier tonight, as I tossed and turned, I finally just gave up. I sat up in my bed, and had that urge to pray again, and this time, I did. I told God all about what's been happening in my life lately (not much), and all about how I've been feeling. I told him everything. And I heard something in reply.
For months now, I've been bottling up hatred and anger, I've been holding a grudge that became the only thing I could see. This evening I was at a friend's house, and we were talking about the person who I've been holding a multi-month-long grudge against, and I can't really tell you that we were saying pleasant things. It seemed as though everyone was joining in, but then one of our friends had the courage to stand up and say that this wasn't okay with him, that it wasn't right to be talking about this person that way. And I felt a little badly, but mostly I felt like I had been slapped across the face. That person had hurt me a lot, and now my friend was standing up for him? My anger flared for a few moments, and simmered back down rather quickly, but I hadn't felt much remorse until I spoke to God.
God showed me that forgiveness truly is key. My friend who told us all that it was time to stop was right, and he knew what he was talking about. That probably took a lot of courage, and I know that God was working through him right there. As God opened my eyes to all of this late tonight, it was like I was looking into a mirror, and I know that I did not like what I saw. I was filled to the brim with anger and pain, and I allowed it to cover everything else up. Tears welled up in my eyes as I picked up my cell phone to text my friend who had stood up, to thank him for being God's hands and feet in showing me, well, a lot of things.
As I write this tonight, or rather, this morning, I'm reminded of two of my previous posts, "Stress Fractures" and "Forgiving and Forgetting". I let my little stress fractures build and build, piling one upon another, some were larger than others, until that's the only thing that was there. I thought that this no longer bothered me, but I can see now that I was wrong. All I had done before to help myself was bury it in the sand.
And I also thought that I had forgiven the person we had been talking about. But God asked my if I had forgotten. And I could not say yes. I've withheld true forgiveness for almost ten months now, and it has done me no good. Maybe I needed that time to reflect, to think, but I don't know if I've used it as well as I should have. I guess I still have a lot of forgiving to do this summer, and you know what? I don't mind doing it anymore.
I know that there have been several points to this one post, but I have just one more to share tonight. God's grace amazes me continuously. He's been sending me little messages for days, maybe even weeks, that I've been ignoring, but He never gave up. Tonight He worked through my friend to give me a wake up call, and I know that He works in all different ways, sometimes very mysterious ways. So thank you, Lord, for working all hours, even at 1:30 in the morning, and for never, ever giving up.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Changing the Secrets
There's a website. Six Billion Secrets. sixbillionsecrets.com. And so many people who have written on that site are so alone.
It absolutely breaks my heart that so many people don't have someone to talk to, someone who can help them, who will be there for them. And a lot of people reading this blog post, or many of the secrets posted on that website will say that it's all melodrama. But I don't believe that. Yeah, maybe some of it is, but if that was your best friend, or son, or daughter, or sister, or brother, writing on that website, feeling those feelings, you'd want to help them, wouldn't you?
How have we let so many people feel so lost, so sad and upset? Maybe you are one of those people, asking yourself the same question. Or maybe you're like me, wondering how you, with a wonderful life, have overlooked all of that pain and sorrow in the people around you. Or maybe you fit into a completely different category. I just don't know where the happiness has gone. I'm not blaming anyone, because believe me, I know that it's not a choice you make to be unhappy.
So my challenge to you today is to go out and be that person that someone needs. Be the shoulder to cry on, the listening ear, the care that people are so desperately looking for. Do a few random acts of kindness. You may not be able to change the entire world, but each one of us has the capability to change at least one person's world. I'm going to try to think before I say, and try to always help people, because I might never know what else is going on in their life. Together, we can make happier secrets.
It absolutely breaks my heart that so many people don't have someone to talk to, someone who can help them, who will be there for them. And a lot of people reading this blog post, or many of the secrets posted on that website will say that it's all melodrama. But I don't believe that. Yeah, maybe some of it is, but if that was your best friend, or son, or daughter, or sister, or brother, writing on that website, feeling those feelings, you'd want to help them, wouldn't you?
How have we let so many people feel so lost, so sad and upset? Maybe you are one of those people, asking yourself the same question. Or maybe you're like me, wondering how you, with a wonderful life, have overlooked all of that pain and sorrow in the people around you. Or maybe you fit into a completely different category. I just don't know where the happiness has gone. I'm not blaming anyone, because believe me, I know that it's not a choice you make to be unhappy.
So my challenge to you today is to go out and be that person that someone needs. Be the shoulder to cry on, the listening ear, the care that people are so desperately looking for. Do a few random acts of kindness. You may not be able to change the entire world, but each one of us has the capability to change at least one person's world. I'm going to try to think before I say, and try to always help people, because I might never know what else is going on in their life. Together, we can make happier secrets.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Today, I am Alive
There have been whispers of Judgement Day coming this Saturday, and as I walked up from the bus stop today with my brother and another boy who might as well be my brother too we were kind of joking about it. Out of the three of us, none of us doubt that we'll wake up on Sunday morning, none of us doubt that our families will wake up, and none of us doubt that our friends will wake up. For a moment I had a flash of what it would be like if Saturday really is it. Don't you think we'd all be living our lives a little bit differently?
I know that I take my life for granted. To me, there are no questions about it, I will wake up safe, taken care of, and relatively happy tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, and days and days, and years and years to come. But tomorrow could be it. Tomorrow could be the last page of my story. The last page of my story could be in just one second for all I know. Yet I take my life for granted.
So with these thoughts passing through my mind, my walk up from the bus stop took on a whole new meaning to me. That could have been the last time I ever walk up that hill, the last time I ever kick the wet leaves from the road. I set my mind differently, and I smiled with each step that I took, grinned as I took the mail out of the mailbox, and added an extra bounce in my step.
There's so much that I would do if I knew that tomorrow would be my last day. So many words I would say, so many people I would want to be with, and so many smiles I would give. I wouldn't want to leave this world without leaving my mark, and there are times when I know that I most definitely haven't done that yet. God gave me this life on earth to do something specific, to do His work, to live for Him, before the glorious eternal life I will have in Heaven. There is nothing that we can take for granted, because God had the power to give everything we have to us, and He has the power to take it all away.
So I'm going to start thinking before speaking, smiling before thinking, and listening before saying. I'm not going to regret, and I'm not going to watch life fly by without living it. If we all live like this, we'd all be so much happier, not to mention the wonders of the world that we'd all be living in. So join me in living each day as though it was our last!
I know that I take my life for granted. To me, there are no questions about it, I will wake up safe, taken care of, and relatively happy tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, and days and days, and years and years to come. But tomorrow could be it. Tomorrow could be the last page of my story. The last page of my story could be in just one second for all I know. Yet I take my life for granted.
So with these thoughts passing through my mind, my walk up from the bus stop took on a whole new meaning to me. That could have been the last time I ever walk up that hill, the last time I ever kick the wet leaves from the road. I set my mind differently, and I smiled with each step that I took, grinned as I took the mail out of the mailbox, and added an extra bounce in my step.
There's so much that I would do if I knew that tomorrow would be my last day. So many words I would say, so many people I would want to be with, and so many smiles I would give. I wouldn't want to leave this world without leaving my mark, and there are times when I know that I most definitely haven't done that yet. God gave me this life on earth to do something specific, to do His work, to live for Him, before the glorious eternal life I will have in Heaven. There is nothing that we can take for granted, because God had the power to give everything we have to us, and He has the power to take it all away.
So I'm going to start thinking before speaking, smiling before thinking, and listening before saying. I'm not going to regret, and I'm not going to watch life fly by without living it. If we all live like this, we'd all be so much happier, not to mention the wonders of the world that we'd all be living in. So join me in living each day as though it was our last!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
We Are Family
Yeah, I know, I just got that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day, didn't I? Well good, it's a pretty nice song to be singing for a long time.
So today was a very...confusing day. But no matter, we learn a lot on the most confusing days don't we? Anyway, a lot was going on, and a lot of it could have pulled me and my friends apart a lot, or possibly have hurt one or many of us. Despite the challenges that we were being put through, though, we stuck together, and I'm extremely proud of everybody today. One of my best friends in the world said something this afternoon that made me smile stupidly for such a long time. I was so proud of her, our whole group of friends, and the amazing bonds that we share.
"Our group is a family, and we stick together through everything." It may seem like a simple statement, but it really was a sign to me during a really cloudy day, both literally and figuratively. Her comment was so true, and it made me realize how truly awesome our friendships really were. We protect each other and stick together through thick and thin, and that's how it's always going to be, no matter what.
I thank God so, so much for these people in my life. They hold me up through so much, and are truly gifts from Heaven. God has already given us the tools we need to get through so much in our lives, and we don't even recognize them most of the time. So let's take at least a few moments today to thank God for the amazing gifts that he has given us.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Gratitude Journal-Day 4
Gratitude Journal-Day 4
So today I've been thinking about traditions, and different seasons. I'm extremely thankful for the things that make certain times of the year oh so special. There are certain things that have happened year after year for me during certain holidays or times of the year, and it makes me so happy when they happen again, and so excited for them to happen. The Christmas music that I listen to every year makes my heart swell, and though I so desperately want to listen to it earlier and earlier this year, I have to stop myself, because if I don't, then it's not as special anymore, and it loses the meaning for me. There are certain things that I will not allow to be changed. For instance, as we were getting the house ready for Thanksgiving tomorrow, my dad suggested that we make the cranberry chutney tonight, instead of tomorrow, and I instantly said no. Every year for almost as long as I can remember, I wake up on Thanksgiving morning, get dressed, and go downstairs and help my daddy make the cranberry chutney. I am so thankful for the traditions and memories of different holidays and times of the year that make life so special!
So today I've been thinking about traditions, and different seasons. I'm extremely thankful for the things that make certain times of the year oh so special. There are certain things that have happened year after year for me during certain holidays or times of the year, and it makes me so happy when they happen again, and so excited for them to happen. The Christmas music that I listen to every year makes my heart swell, and though I so desperately want to listen to it earlier and earlier this year, I have to stop myself, because if I don't, then it's not as special anymore, and it loses the meaning for me. There are certain things that I will not allow to be changed. For instance, as we were getting the house ready for Thanksgiving tomorrow, my dad suggested that we make the cranberry chutney tonight, instead of tomorrow, and I instantly said no. Every year for almost as long as I can remember, I wake up on Thanksgiving morning, get dressed, and go downstairs and help my daddy make the cranberry chutney. I am so thankful for the traditions and memories of different holidays and times of the year that make life so special!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Gratitude Journal-Day 3
Gratitude Journal-Day 3
Today I'm really thankful for people. People who I don't know, people I do, I'm just thankful that God put us all here in this world together. Today I went to a flea market with two of my best friends, and there was a man there selling phone cases, he had cases for all three of our phones, and he was really nice. It made my day seeing somebody in such an upbeat mood!
I'm really grateful for the ability to solve conflicts. God sends us little trials to get closer to Him, and He also gives us the ability to overcome the trials. It's not always noticeable, but there is always a way out. "This, too, shall pass"
Today I'm really thankful for people. People who I don't know, people I do, I'm just thankful that God put us all here in this world together. Today I went to a flea market with two of my best friends, and there was a man there selling phone cases, he had cases for all three of our phones, and he was really nice. It made my day seeing somebody in such an upbeat mood!
I'm really grateful for the ability to solve conflicts. God sends us little trials to get closer to Him, and He also gives us the ability to overcome the trials. It's not always noticeable, but there is always a way out. "This, too, shall pass"
Monday, November 22, 2010
Gratitude Journal-Day 2
Gratitude Journal-Day 2
I'm extremely thankful for my memories. A lot of who I am can be found in the memories I have. The best times of my life so far are in my memories, and I never want to have to give them up. When so many things have changed, the past is the one thing that will always be the same no matter what, and even if things are going badly now, I can look back and think about amazing fun things from my past. My memories are a humongous comfort to me, and I constantly think about them. I don't think I'm the only one who thinks about the past a lot, but I believe that I am one of the only people who looks back on the past for comfort. Even some of my saddest memories can make me smile, because they brought me closer to somebody, or because things are better now.
I'm grateful for the present, too. The time I have to live right now is a gift, and we can never be sure of how much longer we'll have to live. I'm thankful that I have time to spend with the people in my life, and time to get to know God better.
Another thing that I'm extremely thankful for is my Christian faith and the love of Jesus. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior, and there isn't anything better than that, nothing compares to Him. God will always be there for me, and He will always love me. He loves us so much that He sent His one and only begotten Son to die for us.
I'm extremely thankful for my memories. A lot of who I am can be found in the memories I have. The best times of my life so far are in my memories, and I never want to have to give them up. When so many things have changed, the past is the one thing that will always be the same no matter what, and even if things are going badly now, I can look back and think about amazing fun things from my past. My memories are a humongous comfort to me, and I constantly think about them. I don't think I'm the only one who thinks about the past a lot, but I believe that I am one of the only people who looks back on the past for comfort. Even some of my saddest memories can make me smile, because they brought me closer to somebody, or because things are better now.
I'm grateful for the present, too. The time I have to live right now is a gift, and we can never be sure of how much longer we'll have to live. I'm thankful that I have time to spend with the people in my life, and time to get to know God better.
Another thing that I'm extremely thankful for is my Christian faith and the love of Jesus. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior, and there isn't anything better than that, nothing compares to Him. God will always be there for me, and He will always love me. He loves us so much that He sent His one and only begotten Son to die for us.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Gratitude Journal-Day 1
Gratitude Journal-Day 1
So I'm going to start something new, and from now until Christmas I'm going to try and post about at least one thing a day that I'm thankful for.
I'm so thankful for my friends. All of them. I am in awe at what amazing friends God has given me. I have people who I can turn to about anything, people who I can always have a good time with. They genuinely care about me and they want me to be happy. I was standing in church this morning watching, listening, and singing along to many of my friends singing praise songs, leading our congregation in worship of the Lord, and realized how amazing they all are. This isn't the first time that I realized what wonderful people all of them are, it happens quite often. Even though I sometimes feel like there's nothing good going on, I should remember how amazing these people are. For a while I was having kind of a tough time with finding friends who care, and who want me to be happy, but recently God has given me some of the most amazing people ever.
I'm also thankful for the church that I am a part of, and my fellow Christians. I have been extremely blessed in the recent years with showers of love and care from people all throughout the church. My Christian faith has grown a lot in the past couple of years, and I have so many people who are growing with me and so many people who are leading us. It's through church that I met and became close to many of my best friends. God has been pouring out blessings through the church for me, and sometimes I don't even realize how amazing they all are until they're gone.
My family is always there for me, and I am extremely grateful for that. I know that I can always talk to anybody in my family, and even though we don't always get along, we love each other, and there isn't anything that I would change. It's simple, the way we care about each other, I am the oldest of three children, and though we have our arguments, I wouldn't trade them for the world. My parents always care about us, and always want us to be happy, and they are amazing parents.
There's a lot to be grateful for in the world, and sometimes I don't realize it, because sometimes I let my troubles cloud the way for them. I really am blessed in my life.
So I'm going to start something new, and from now until Christmas I'm going to try and post about at least one thing a day that I'm thankful for.
I'm so thankful for my friends. All of them. I am in awe at what amazing friends God has given me. I have people who I can turn to about anything, people who I can always have a good time with. They genuinely care about me and they want me to be happy. I was standing in church this morning watching, listening, and singing along to many of my friends singing praise songs, leading our congregation in worship of the Lord, and realized how amazing they all are. This isn't the first time that I realized what wonderful people all of them are, it happens quite often. Even though I sometimes feel like there's nothing good going on, I should remember how amazing these people are. For a while I was having kind of a tough time with finding friends who care, and who want me to be happy, but recently God has given me some of the most amazing people ever.
I'm also thankful for the church that I am a part of, and my fellow Christians. I have been extremely blessed in the recent years with showers of love and care from people all throughout the church. My Christian faith has grown a lot in the past couple of years, and I have so many people who are growing with me and so many people who are leading us. It's through church that I met and became close to many of my best friends. God has been pouring out blessings through the church for me, and sometimes I don't even realize how amazing they all are until they're gone.
My family is always there for me, and I am extremely grateful for that. I know that I can always talk to anybody in my family, and even though we don't always get along, we love each other, and there isn't anything that I would change. It's simple, the way we care about each other, I am the oldest of three children, and though we have our arguments, I wouldn't trade them for the world. My parents always care about us, and always want us to be happy, and they are amazing parents.
There's a lot to be grateful for in the world, and sometimes I don't realize it, because sometimes I let my troubles cloud the way for them. I really am blessed in my life.
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