Who are you?

Who am I? Who am I in this big world that so many billions of us humans call home?

Well, I am Abby. I am a brown haired, brown eyed girl, with friends and family who have a never-ending flow of love and support. I am a writer and a dreamer, a believer and an optimist. I am a usually happy person, and I'm a bit stubborn. I don't wear matching socks, and I don't have very much patience. I am Abby, and that's good enough for me.

There is a quote that my homeroom teacher has hanging in her classroom, from Bill Cosby, "The key to failure is trying to please everyone." Be who you are, and embrace it. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough, or that you shouldn't be the way you are, because, and believe me, I know this is said a lot, but it's because it's true, if someone doesn't like you, it's their loss. There are multiple billions of people on the Earth, and how many of them are exactly like you? What's that? That's right. Absolutely nobody else can replace you in the world. So don't let anyone change you, because in the end it's hurting everyone who you come into contact with, because those people are missing the amazing beautiful person that you are.

So, I ask, who are you? Do you know exactly what your answer is? Or do you still have a lot to discover? Either of those, and anywhere in between, is absolutely perfectly okay, so long as it's yourself that you are and/or are discovering. The world wants to see the beautiful person who you are, not a fake mask that society has taught you to wear, so throw the mask off, and declare to all of the Earth who you are.

The Batmans and Robins of Today

I'm a day late, but I need to do a tribute to the heroes of yesterday ten years ago. September eleventh, two thousand and one. The day that caused our country to stand still.

The whole nation sat stunned, watching the towers collapse, and then, as if that wasn't enough, there was another crash at the Pentagon, and another one crash-landing only fifteen minutes from our country's capitol, and only miles from a school full of students and teachers. No one was expecting this, and everyone was frozen in place where they watched the events unfold. Well, everyone except for the heroes who immediately jumped into action and risked their own lives to save so many others. Nothing like this had ever happened before in our country's past, but these men and women didn't miss a beat, and many of them didn't even make it out alive to hear our meager thank yous.

We read comic books, and watch movies, about super heroes like Batman and Robin, but those aren't the true heroes in our world today. The Batmans and Robins of the world today don't wear capes, they are those people who, at a moments notice, drop what they are doing, and run to save the lives of people who they may have never even met.

All of Creation

Almost three years ago now, a video was shared during youth group, and I've been looking for it ever since. Yes, there are other's done like this one, but I found that this one touches me the most. I've finally found it, and it has brought tears to my eyes once again.



There are so many thoughts going through my head after watching, and it's so difficult to fathom. God loves us. Plain and simple, yet, at times it's the most confusing thing. How could God love someone who's sinned so much? Who's turned away from him time and time again? Who is so broken and beaten down? God loves us. No matter what. And, in addition to that, He's always fighting for us. God is going to be there to pull us out of those deep and fiery pits of life whenever we are willing to accept His grace and love.

Towards the end of the video, you see the actor who's playing God trying to pull the girl towards him, but no matter how hard she tries, she just can't get through those people. Finally, God goes in and fights each of the evils off of her, and holds the girl up, protecting her from evil. God wants to do that and be there for each of us too. He's longing, yearning, for us to want him, to turn to him, and accept his love and care.

The sign outside of my church reads "If God feels distant, stop running". This video and that quote go perfectly together. God is chasing after us, and He wants us to stop and turn around, and let Him hold us in His hands. The only thing that's stopping Him is us. We need to make that decision to let him into our heart, and to give Him our troubles.

It doesn't matter who you've been, or what you've done. The only thing that matters is who God is, and what He's done. Jesus Christ died on the cross, for us, and that is exactly what true love is.

Confessions of a Momentary Insomniac

For the past few nights, I just haven't been able to sleep. I've been up until at least 12:30 every morning, and usually later into one or two o'clock. I've tossed, I've turned, but not once did I finally sit up, and give in to the fact that I wasn't going to be able to sleep anytime soon, until tonight.

It's been a couple of weeks since I've taken time to talk to God, and I honestly can't tell you why. It isn't like I've been too busy. But for the past couple of days I've been feeling that need to pray, but every time I would start to, I would get distracted and forget what I was doing. There was something that God needed to get through my head, and I just wouldn't listen.

So earlier tonight, as I tossed and turned, I finally just gave up. I sat up in my bed, and had that urge to pray again, and this time, I did. I told God all about what's been happening in my life lately (not much), and all about how I've been feeling. I told him everything. And I heard something in reply.

For months now, I've been bottling up hatred and anger, I've been holding a grudge that became the only thing I could see. This evening I was at a friend's house, and we were talking about the person who I've been holding a multi-month-long grudge against, and I can't really tell you that we were saying pleasant things. It seemed as though everyone was joining in, but then one of our friends had the courage to stand up and say that this wasn't okay with him, that it wasn't right to be talking about this person that way. And I felt a little badly, but mostly I felt like I had been slapped across the face. That person had hurt me a lot, and now my friend was standing up for him? My anger flared for a few moments, and simmered back down rather quickly, but I hadn't felt much remorse until I spoke to God.

God showed me that forgiveness truly is key. My friend who told us all that it was time to stop was right, and he knew what he was talking about. That probably took a lot of courage, and I know that God was working through him right there. As God opened my eyes to all of this late tonight, it was like I was looking into a mirror, and I know that I did not like what I saw. I was filled to the brim with anger and pain, and I allowed it to cover everything else up. Tears welled up in my eyes as I picked up my cell phone to text my friend who had stood up, to thank him for being God's hands and feet in showing me, well, a lot of things.

As I write this tonight, or rather, this morning, I'm reminded of two of my previous posts, "Stress Fractures" and "Forgiving and Forgetting". I let my little stress fractures build and build, piling one upon another, some were larger than others, until that's the only thing that was there. I thought that this no longer bothered me, but I can see now that I was wrong. All I had done before to help myself was bury it in the sand.

And I also thought that I had forgiven the person we had been talking about. But God asked my if I had forgotten. And I could not say yes. I've withheld true forgiveness for almost ten months now, and it has done me no good. Maybe I needed that time to reflect, to think, but I don't know if I've used it as well as I should have. I guess I still have a lot of forgiving to do this summer, and you know what? I don't mind doing it anymore.

I know that there have been several points to this one post, but I have just one more to share tonight. God's grace amazes me continuously. He's been sending me little messages for days, maybe even weeks, that I've been ignoring, but He never gave up. Tonight He worked through my friend to give me a wake up call, and I know that He works in all different ways, sometimes very mysterious ways. So thank you, Lord, for working all hours, even at 1:30 in the morning, and for never, ever giving up.