Finding Perfect Peace

I started praying about peace in March, after taking a grueling midterm by which I felt trampled.  I've gotten significantly better at not finding my identity in test scores and grades since the start of this blog in middle school, but I am not perfect.  This class was a night class, meaning that we met only once a week on Monday evenings. 

The Thursday after taking the midterm I was walking around the quad, killing some time between lunch and my biology lab, praying about this exam.  I was so panicked, so frustrated, that this would be the black mark on my transcript, and I felt God asking me "So what?  So what if you didn't do well?" and I felt this peace fall over me as I realized that the score I received on that midterm really did not matter.  It did not matter in the sense that it does not define me or change me in God's eyes, and it did not matter in the sense that it would not impact my future unless it was part of God's plan.  If God wants me to be somewhere in the future, a poor midterm grade will not stop Him from bringing me there.

From there on out I saw signs of God's sovereignty and felt His perfect peace countless times, and so when I began a short devotional study that encouraged its readers to choose one word to focus on for a year, God gave me the word "Peace".  At first I thought this was great, I would no longer be filled with anxiety and stress on a regular basis, and I would find my rest in the Lord.  Then I realized that when God wants to change you, it isn't that easy.  It's easy to ask Him to take away worry and replace it with peace, but it isn't easy to find peace in conflict with those around me, or to have peaceful thoughts towards a driver who cuts me off. 

I remember a Bible study, several years ago, in which one of the leaders told my peers and I that she had been praying for more patience.  She shared that she expected God to give her greater patience, but instead God gave her a greater number of frustrating situations.  At first she fell into the frustrations and continuously lost her patience, then she realized that God was giving her these situations to practice being calm and patient.  Prayer and developing as a Christian is not a genie-in-a-bottle-your-wish-is-my-command relationship with God, it's one of continual development, guiding, molding, and shaping.

When I consciously began focusing on peace about a week and a half ago, I expected God to take away my stresses and show me how to find peace in Him, but He is showing me all kinds of ways to express peace, and bringing me into all kinds of situations in which I need to find peace.  Asking God to grow me isn't an easy process, but I am sure that it is worth it.  I had been focusing on Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus," but I needed to look to the verse before it, Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  God provides, but I must turn to Him and do my part as well. 

Peace is not just a feeling, but a way of living, and God is teaching me that through hands-on experiences.  I don't always succeed in these tests, in fact I hardly have thus far.  I don't realize that He's trying to mold me until after the fact, but I will grow, and He will lead me.  Is God calling you to grow in some area?  Choosing a fruit of the spirit to focus on is a great way to start: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).  It won't always be easy, but it will be worth it.

No Motivation? The King is Calling!

I don't post here often enough because, quite often, when I sit down to write the inspiration just doesn't strike.  I usually try to force some words out and put together the semblance of a blog post, but it all sounds unnatural and wrong, so I backspace and stare at a blank screen for a while before giving up. 

Sometimes this upsets me and throws me into moments of doubt.  When I started this blog I could feel God inspiring me all the time, sometimes several times a week, or even more than once a day, but it just doesn't come that way anymore.  Do I not pray enough?  Am I reading the wrong Bible verses?  Am I not listening for God throughout the day?  I panic.  Why doesn't this come easily anymore?

I'm beginning to find that motivation and inspiration for many things in my life may not always come easily, but I have to push through it and make it work anyway.  I have to write English term papers whether or not any of the works from class inspired a literary argument in my mind.  I have to find a way to push myself through a workout whether or not I have much motivation that day.  And I should sit down and think about how God is working in my life and the world around me and take time to formulate it into words even when it doesn't come easily.

This blog has been such a gift throughout my formative years, in that it caused me to think deeply about God's presence in my life and how He was working on me, and I am so blessed that He used it to not only help me, but to reach others.  Now is my time to be faithful to Him and continue listening and using this gift that He's given me despite His voice only seeming to be a whisper.

What gifts has God given you to further His Kingdom?  Are you using them to the fullest to serve Him and those around you?  God calls each of us to serve Him in different ways, and we must answer His call to us even when we lose the motivation and inspiration.  He is constantly calling you to something, even if it isn't what you want to do or be.  He's never going to let you waste your life.  If it feels like He isn't calling you to anything listener longer and harder.  I know that He's going to use you for something great, even if you have little motivation, desire, or even ability to do it.  He will provide.  He will call.  His Kingdom will be grown.

Not How It's Meant to Be

This isn't how it was supposed to be.  This world is broken and full of evil, and this isn't how it was supposed to be.  Love is abused, the good and the young die painful deaths, and sex is used to manipulate and hurt.  Where is God in all of this?

My roommate and I were discussing one of our Humanities Core classes that deals with worldviews and difficult topics of our time such as abortion and euthanasia, and our conversation strayed to why the world contains so much evil inside of things that were designed to be good, specifically when it came to sex.  I asked her if she thought that there was sex before the Fall of Man, and we agreed that there was, because man was designed to reproduce from the start and we cited Adam and Eve in Genesis 2:24-25 "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.  Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."  We had the realization that though in our post-Fall society sex is often abused and sinful it wasn't designed to be that way.  I said "this isn't how it was supposed to be" and all of a sudden so many things clicked into place for me.

God created life to be beautiful, He wanted man to live in perfect harmony with Himself, one another, and the rest of creation.  But Satan in the form of the serpent stepped in and altered that order, causing evil to enter the world.  God never intended for the world to be this way.  The story of man since Genesis 3:8 has been God's work to redeem us.  He loves us and doesn't want to see us hurt, but we constantly hurt ourselves, and just by nature of living in a fallen world evil is part of our lives and is part of who we are.  That is, it is a part of who we are except for God's Redeeming Grace through Jesus Christ.

God  can use the evil in the world for His purposes, to help us to grow and to guide us to Him, but He did not cause this evil.  Man in conjunction with Satan brought this evil into the world, and then our free will continues to let it intertwine with our lives.  God's heart breaks when we are in unnecessary pain caused by the evil that He did not bring into the world.  Good things are made bad because this world is not how it was supposed to be.  This was not the original plan.  This isn't how it's supposed to be.

When we pass on from this life and enter into Heaven by God's Grace we will see how the world was meant to be.  We will meet with utter perfection.  For now, though, God has a purpose for each one of us in this fallen world in order to guide as many of us as will accept His redeeming salvation into Paradise, into the Heaven that God intended.

For me, to live is Christ

This song has been hugely active in my faith this past year.  The first time I heard it was a week after moving into college last year for my freshman year.  I was homesick and longing for someone to talk to who I had known longer than a week, and found myself sitting on a step behind the Chapel.  I could hear the song being performed inside, but I had no clue why, as there were no events being held in the Chapel at that time.  Now, looking back, I know it was one of the worship teams preparing for their weekly Thursday night worship, but at the time all I knew was that it was sent from God.

I've found that the words in "Let it Be Jesus" by Christy Nockels is a prayer that works as praise for joyous times and as a cry out to God in hard times, because no matter what it rings true.  So often I want to take credit for my blessings and successes and I want to control my struggles, but I have to give it all to God.  He is the Light and the Guide.

If you're going through a high in life, I encourage you to listen to this song and praise God for your blessings.  Take a moment to remember that it's all about Jesus and His victory on the cross, and use the blessings that He's bestowed upon you to glorify Him.

If you're going through a valley of life, listen to this song and cry out to God.  Ask Him to glorify Christ through your sufferings and to use them to His purposes, even if it's really hard to understand now.  Try to focus on God's sovereignty, and know that He loves you more than you could ever hope to comprehend.  Keep your eyes turned towards Him and He'll bring you inner peace and use this situation to His purposes.

Even if you're not going through a valley or a high, and you're in a middle ground of life, listen to the song and pray for God to make your thoughts and actions Christ-centered.  I've found that the middle-periods of my life are the times where it is easiest to get complacent in my walk with God, because I feel as though I don't need His comfort, and the blessings He's given me seem less obvious.

Let it be Jesus.