I Love You More

My senior year in high school will be starting in just a few days, and it seems like all of a sudden, there is very little in life, other than trying to plan for college and summer reading. 

The pre-college process is stressful.  I am currently looking at a short list of colleges, all of which are Christian colleges, and there are so many different details and options that have to be weighed when trying to choose the one that I want to go to.  Of course, if you know me, or if you are familiar with this blog, you'll see that I have a constant desire to know the future, to have life planned.  I have this deep urge to be able to plan everything in my life, and right now, not knowing where I'll be living or going to school in a year is quite daunting.  I haven't even visited all of the schools that I'm considering yet, but already I feel like I should have a college picked out. 

I'm so worried that I'll make the wrong choice.  What if my favorite school ends up being the most expensive?  What if I can't tell which school God wants me to be at?  Even worse, what if it really doesn't matter to God which school I go to, so long as I'm still following Him?  And how am I supposed to find extra time to pray about this process with school starting in just a few days, with my most challenging schedule yet?

And then, once I've figured out where I'll go to college, how do I figure out what I'm going to do there?  How am I going to decide what I want to do for the rest of my life?  What if I do what I love, but then I can't get a job?  What if I do what will lead to a lucrative career, but end up hating it?  How do I make all of these decisions before I'm even a legal adult?

On Wednesday, after I had just gotten home from a college visit, and feeling the pressure to know where I'll be in a year, I turned on the radio in the car, and this song came on.  There was an initial peace that fell over me when the song began, and the first verse said "I am with you wherever, and where you go is where I am."  The chorus was another part that really spoke to me.  "I love you more than the sun, and the stars that I taught how to shine, you are mine, and you shine for me too, I love you.  Yesterday, and today, and tomorrow I'll say it again, and again, I love you more."  It was like God telling me to calm down.  If He can set the stars and the sun to shine each day and night, He will surely guide me through this process.  He will guide me to the right decision, whether or not it matters to Him exactly which college I'm learning to use the gifts that He gave me to use in order to shine for Him.  He will also guide me towards finding what exactly it is that He wants me to shine with.  He loves me no matter what, and I am His.

A Search for Truth

From a very early age we have the idea that each of us is a special individual pounded into our heads. The idea that we shouldn't let anyone treat us less then our supposed worth. But I've recently found that that is a truth that you need to discover for yourself, well, at least I did. I'm always hearing from the people around me "You're so special!" "You're such a wonderful person!" "Wait for the guy who knows he's lucky to have you!" "Forget about them, they obviously don't know what you're worth."

It's enough to make anyone believe it. But there was a day last week when I found myself wondering, what makes me worth so much? I'm really no different than the next person. Yeah, I have my quirks, and I have my qualities, but it isn't anything that couldn't be found somewhere else. So many people were saying the same thing for so long, though. For such a large amount of people to know and believe that each person is special, that each person is worth so much, there must be something that they're seeing that I'm not.

So I decided that I had to find my worth for myself, and stop letting other people tell me the same things over and over again. And guess where I found myself. The Bible. I read those verses that we've heard a hundred times, the verses about how special we each are, and how God loves all of us no matter what, and there shed some new light.

There are little side notes all through out my Bible, and one speaks about 2 Corinthians 10:12 (I'm not going to post what this verse actually says right now, and you'll see why in just a few moments, though I encourage you to look it up yourself. Biblegateway.com is a great online Bible to use if you'd prefer easier access). This side note gets inside the mind of a teenager. "Carol has nicer clothes. Jason is smarter. Carl can dunk a basketball. Karen has thick, wavy hair. Danny makes friends easily." I'm sorry to break it to you, but there's always going to be someone who's better at you at anything in particular, if you look at things that way.

Maybe you aren't as fashion forward as someone else, or you don't get as good of grades, but then you're forgetting about the calming effect that you have on people, or the way that you can make anyone laugh.

So there was my answer. It was actually really easy to find. Those people all around me were right. God created me as a masterpiece. God created you as a masterpiece. God created everyone as a masterpiece. The thing is that very often, we look at just parts of a whole, not the entire product. We see singly mediocre qualities, but God sees the whole, beautiful masterpiece. We focus on being the best in a world of billions, when we should really be focusing on being the best "us" we can be.

And there was my truth. No, when you look at one, or two, or even three or four qualities it's easy to find a replacement Abby, but it's when you put my whole being together that you have that special, worthy person that everyone is always telling me about. And I bet that you can find the same truth.

To help YOU find YOUR OWN truth, I've listed a few Bible verses (this is merely a starting point, my friends, you are not only allowed, but encouraged to stray from my suggestions, or go further in your search for truth)...

• 2 Corinthians 10:12


• 1 Corinthians 7:23


• 1 John 3:1


• Jeremiah 29:11


• Genesis 1:26-27


• Psalm 139:13-14


• John 3:16 (This is an easy one, heh heh, it's at the top of the screen)
  

Beauty 101: The Last Chapter

I don't have one specific thing to focus on today, or maybe I do. I suppose I'll find out as I write.

The Last Chapter

One big thing with beauty that I really want people to know, is that beauty is between you and God. God created you as this beautiful, amazing being, and He wants you to know that, to see what He sees, more than anything. There are a lot of people in this world who will try to tell us that we aren't beautiful, that we aren't anything special. But those people are lying. They are lying straight to our faces. And sometimes we're the ones lying to ourselves. How many times have you looked in the mirror and seen nothing but, well, what we like to describe as "ugly"? It's a lie. God doesn't see a single ounce of "ugly" in that beautiful face of yours, and if God, who sees everything about us and everything that we do, sees beauty in us, then it is most definitely true.

I guess some people may have expected a long list of directions on how to become beautiful when they first read the title to this series, but I don't have many directions. Other than what I've already said previously, I really only have one more tip. Let God's love shine through you. God's love is the only pure beauty that has and ever will existed, and therefore, the best, if not only, way to be truly beautiful. He loves us so, so much, and we need to show that to the world, that God sent is one and only begotten Son to the cross do die, in our place, so that one day, we will have eternal life with Him. If we let God's love and light shine through us into the world, people will most definitely see beauty. And the best part about that, is that this beauty doesn't come from ourselves, it comes from God, and therefore, we will always have it.

Beauty 101: Gray Hair and Wrinkles

So I didn't get right on writing that series on Beauty, but here's another one! :)

Gray Hair and Wrinkles

Not so long ago I overheard a girl about my age telling her friends that she would rather die young then get old and wrinkly. I stopped dead in my tracks and just stared for a few moments. How could someone rather their life be cut short than being old and wise? It doesn't make sense to me.

We have this viewpoint of it being a bad thing to get old. We're all trying to prevent wrinkles and gray hair from ages as young as fifteen years old, and once we reach a certain age, our birthdays are no longer something we look forward to, but rather, a day that we dread. But why? What's wrong with having experienced life?

I guess that this entry isn't necessarily only geared to girls my age, but women of all ages. Age is something to be proud of. No, I'm not wishing my life away, but I am excited to live those years. Those years where I've lived enough life to be considered wise, and where people are looking up towards me for advice. I want to be middle aged some day, and I want to be a grandmother. Wrinkles aren't a feature that we should spend hundreds to thousands of dollars trying to make disappear, gray hairs aren't things that we should spend hours a year dyeing.

Love the stage of life you're in. Love it. Whether you are a child, a pre-teen, a teenager, a young adult, an adult, middle aged, or a senior, love life! Yeah, of course every stage of life has it's difficulties, but each one comes with even more benefits. And guess what, you're beautiful in every single stage. The second part of the verses that we looked at in my last post, 1 Peter chapter 3 verse 4 says "Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." The key part of that verse that I want to look at is where it says "the unfading beauty". That means that when you're looking at true beauty, it doesn't go away with age, it doesn't run and hide when wrinkles reveal themselves.

Beauty doesn't leave, and it doesn't hide. When you think about it, it's actually kind of silly to think that as you get older you lose your beauty, if anything, you only get more beautiful as you learn to understand the ways of the world. No matter how old you are, go out today, and embrace your beautiful self, and don't let anyone, not your best friend, your spouse, your worst enemy, your sibling, and especially not society, tell you that you aren't beautiful.

Beauty 101: It's True

I know that I have many opinions on many different things, who doesn’t? But I’m tired of people thinking bad things about themselves, girls in particular (simply because I am a girl and know the struggles, not because y’all with the Y chromosome aren’t awesome!). So it’s time that my thoughts on beauty pour outward. In the next few days or so, I’ll be writing a series of posts on beauty that will hopefully help each of you, even those of my male readers.

It's True.

A friend once told me that her boyfriend had called her beautiful. She said that it was a major confidence booster, even though it wasn't true. I looked at her and kind of cocked my head questioningly, saying of course it was true. We went back and forth for a few moments, and then I firmly said "All people are beautiful." And that is so unbelievably true, even though we don't always see it. No matter how many times we fight against compliments, no matter how many times we look in the mirror and think that there is no possible way that the mess we see could be beautiful, none of that is right. What is right is that all people are beautiful. You are beautiful.

Today's society tells us that in order to be beautiful we need to wear layers upon layers of makeup to hide blemishes, we need to wear a dress size zero, and if we don't, we need to squeeze into one anyway. According to society we need to have small feet and long fingers, and silky long hair. But that's not where actual beauty comes from. Actual beauty comes from the inside, not the outside. 1 Peter chapter 3 verses 3 and 4 say "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."

God loves each and everyone of us, and we are each amazingly beautiful in His eyes. But God doesn't see what we as humans see. While we're looking at the outward appearance, God sees the inside. He sees our thoughts, and our motivations. And He absolutely loves us. Guess what, God created each of us in His own image, so of course we're beautiful.

Please believe people when they tell you that you are beautiful, because it's true! And also, today, I challenge you to work towards looking at the inward beauty of yourself and others, as opposed to the outward appearance. Try to see what our Heavenly Father see. He rejoices over us!

No Matter What...

...Trust in God

You know, I have a lot of friends who look down on me sometimes because of mistakes I've made. Or because of how I look at situations. I am extremely optimistic, that's just how I am. I look to the future and I think big, I dream, I hope. And yes, lot's of times I get let down. But there are many more times when I achieve so much more than I ever could if I wasn't dreaming. It's in those times, when I know that something is a long shot, that I really learn to trust God. I ask Him to help me, to lead me, and to guide me. I know that this world that God has made is beautiful, full of awesome opportunities, and I know that He has a plan for each of us. If I'm always pessimistic, always looking on the bad side of things, how am I ever going to try something new, or see a new opportunity that God has for me?

I can make stupid mistakes sometimes. We all can. Mistakes that we look back on and we laugh at our stupidity. Mistakes that are made in a situation that we probably should've already known what to do in. For example, as a teenager I have adults all around me trying to help me with perspective on situations and the world. A lot of advice that my peers and I have been given lately revolves around dating relationships. We are told that while dating can be fun at our age, the likelihood of these relationships ending in marriage is very low, and that it is silly to think we are in love with a person after knowing them for only days. But sometimes we just need to test that out. We dream big, and sometimes we fall flat on our faces. God, though, is always there to lift us up, telling us to try again, or to try differently.

Think about it. When we are pessimistic all the time, or we let what we are being taught (even if we trust the people teaching us) hold us back, we can't achieve what God wants for us. So sometimes we fail, sometimes we mess up, sometimes we get hurt. And maybe that was in God's plan, and maybe it wasn't. But God always uses everything in our lives for the better, even if we can't see it. We learn lessons that we wouldn't have learned otherwise. Or maybe the bad thing that has happened actually stopped something worse from happening. We may never know. We need to trust that God loves us, though, and that He wants the best for us.

Everyone holds themselves back from things. Everyone. We've all had those little inward battles with ourselves, those fights that happen inside our minds. For instance, there's another student walking down the hall who drops his books.

I know that I should go and help him, I know it, but if I do, I might be late for class. Or maybe he doesn't want my help. What if someone makes fun of me? But then again, what if he just needs someone to be there for him? What if he thinks nobody cares? Plus it's what Jesus would do.

See? You know what I'm talking about. And very often when we have those little fights in our mind, we end up doing the wrong thing. We hold ourselves back from doing God's work in the world. So I guess that my advice to you, and to myself, today is to not hold yourself back. Dream big, pray, and trust in God. When you hear God telling you to do something, take that leap of faith, and do it, no matter what the consequences could be. Let the love of God shine through you.

Today, I am Alive

There have been whispers of Judgement Day coming this Saturday, and as I walked up from the bus stop today with my brother and another boy who might as well be my brother too we were kind of joking about it. Out of the three of us, none of us doubt that we'll wake up on Sunday morning, none of us doubt that our families will wake up, and none of us doubt that our friends will wake up. For a moment I had a flash of what it would be like if Saturday really is it. Don't you think we'd all be living our lives a little bit differently?

I know that I take my life for granted. To me, there are no questions about it, I will wake up safe, taken care of, and relatively happy tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, and days and days, and years and years to come. But tomorrow could be it. Tomorrow could be the last page of my story. The last page of my story could be in just one second for all I know. Yet I take my life for granted.

So with these thoughts passing through my mind, my walk up from the bus stop took on a whole new meaning to me. That could have been the last time I ever walk up that hill, the last time I ever kick the wet leaves from the road. I set my mind differently, and I smiled with each step that I took, grinned as I took the mail out of the mailbox, and added an extra bounce in my step.

There's so much that I would do if I knew that tomorrow would be my last day. So many words I would say, so many people I would want to be with, and so many smiles I would give. I wouldn't want to leave this world without leaving my mark, and there are times when I know that I most definitely haven't done that yet. God gave me this life on earth to do something specific, to do His work, to live for Him, before the glorious eternal life I will have in Heaven. There is nothing that we can take for granted, because God had the power to give everything we have to us, and He has the power to take it all away.

So I'm going to start thinking before speaking, smiling before thinking, and listening before saying. I'm not going to regret, and I'm not going to watch life fly by without living it. If we all live like this, we'd all be so much happier, not to mention the wonders of the world that we'd all be living in. So join me in living each day as though it was our last!

The Voice of Truth

The past couple of months have been pretty difficult for me, compared to what seemed like pure bliss last year. Three people, right in a row, made the same assumption about me, and who I am as a person. They were completely and totally wrong, but for a little while, I believed it. I thought that maybe I don't see myself clearly, and I really am what they said I was. I was tired of being used, or, rather, I was tired of people trying to use me. Usually they didn't succeed, though they always managed to make me feel terrible about myself. There were briefs sections of time when things seemed like they were going to get better, but something would happen again, and it seemed as though it was never going to end.
Then, right after the third person made those incorrect assumptions about me, I decided that they were wrong. They had absolutely no right to say those things to me, and absolutely no reason to believe those things about me. I am loved, and I love myself, no matter what they say. If I didn't let what they thought or said affect me, then it couldn't be true. That evening, I stood in one of the rooms at our church with three boys after their confirmation class. One of them pulled out his iPod, and began to play the song "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns.
The song has a really nice message in it, about not believing what other people think about us, and not listening to what Satan says to try and discourage us. I stood in the room as the three boys sang along with the song, and even though they were completely off key, it was one of the most beautiful things that I had ever heard. I held back tears as I had the realization that it doesn't matter what those people think of me, God loves me, and that's all that's ever going to matter.
God loves each and everyone of us even more than we can comprehend, and it's Satan who comes after us, and tries to make us believe that we are worthless, and begin to wish that we weren't who we are. God is The Voice of Truth, The only One who we can ever count on to always show us what's real, and what isn't. God loves us for all of eternity, and He wants us to know that.