Stress Fractures

So I'm reading one of the things that one of my friends wrote on facebook. There was a question "Have you ever had your heart broken?" her answer was "cracked, but not broken" and that made me think a lot. How many of us are walking around with cracks in our hearts?

We haven't been completely broken, we haven't been kicked and left behind in the dirt, but we've been hurt. A friend has turned out to be someone we didn't know, a short-term relationship has ended, the truth of a lie surfaces, life moves on, right? Of course it does. But that doesn't mean that we're okay.

I find that a lot of times, it's even more difficult to get over small aches like that. Things that hurt, but that don't completely cause an earthquake in your life, because we don't take the time that we need to heal. We aren't focused on it for a very long time, so months, or even years, later it resurfaces, and we realize that it is still causing us pain. This little, minor detail in our lives can bring us to our knees, weeping, so long afterwards. Okay, so maybe I'm being a little dramatic, even a lot dramatic, but you get my point.

Perhaps you are like me, when something bad happens, something that hurts just enough to affect your life, but not enough to bring you to a stand still, you start working on auto-pilot, speed up, and don't stop for long enough to reflect and heal. Or maybe you are walking around in this life full of small little aches and pains from small bad experiences, added together making you feel miserable. Maybe you are totally different. But no matter what, you haven't taken the time to make yourself feel better.

When these pains resurface months later, we try to push it away again, convincing ourselves that we should have been over this long ago, that we can't possibly still be being affected by it now. But guess what, if you've never dealt with a certain experience, it's not leaving your side until you have, and it's only going to grow into a bigger pain.

These little experiences are like getting a stress fracture in your foot from running too much. If you take the time to allow it to heal, you'll be back up and running in no time at all. But if you don't stop to let your body heal itself, and you keep running, that stress fracture is going to get bigger and bigger, and soon enough it's going to be a full blown broken bone. Your foot is going to hurt a lot more than with just a small stress fracture, and it's going to take a much longer time to heal. Plus, there's no ignoring it this time.

So I have two pieces of advice for you, and for myself. The first one is to those of us who have been bottling our pains up for too long, and now we must deal with a lot more hurt than we thought. Always remember Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit". Give your troubles to God. He loves you, and He wants to always be there for you. And guess what. It is okay to hurt, even after all of this time. There isn't a time limit to brokenheartedness or crushed spirits. So let it all go, and give it all to God.

And the second advice is to those of us who are in the middle of a little ache right now. Deal with it now. Ask God to help you heal right now, don't hold it all in for months and months, only for it to resurface even worse. Even if it doesn't necessarily seem major, God doesn't care. Like I said in my earlier post, He loves you, and He wants to always be there for you. A crisis is a crisis if it's a crisis to you. Don't feel like what you're going through is too small to hurt over. Hurt and heal now, before it gets even worse.

Everyone who is walking around with a cracked heart, take the time to let it heal and let God help you. Don't let your heart break into a million pieces before you turn to God.

Changing the Secrets

There's a website. Six Billion Secrets. sixbillionsecrets.com. And so many people who have written on that site are so alone.

It absolutely breaks my heart that so many people don't have someone to talk to, someone who can help them, who will be there for them. And a lot of people reading this blog post, or many of the secrets posted on that website will say that it's all melodrama. But I don't believe that. Yeah, maybe some of it is, but if that was your best friend, or son, or daughter, or sister, or brother, writing on that website, feeling those feelings, you'd want to help them, wouldn't you?

How have we let so many people feel so lost, so sad and upset? Maybe you are one of those people, asking yourself the same question. Or maybe you're like me, wondering how you, with a wonderful life, have overlooked all of that pain and sorrow in the people around you. Or maybe you fit into a completely different category. I just don't know where the happiness has gone. I'm not blaming anyone, because believe me, I know that it's not a choice you make to be unhappy.

So my challenge to you today is to go out and be that person that someone needs. Be the shoulder to cry on, the listening ear, the care that people are so desperately looking for. Do a few random acts of kindness. You may not be able to change the entire world, but each one of us has the capability to change at least one person's world. I'm going to try to think before I say, and try to always help people, because I might never know what else is going on in their life. Together, we can make happier secrets.

Dancing in the Rain

The school year is coming to a close. Actually, at this point, it is at a close. With only one and a half days to go, I am left remembering the three glorious years that I've had at my middle school. Some of the memories that I have are happy, some are not so happy. Nevertheless, I love each and every one of them.

I've come into contact with so many new people in these past three years, and I've learned at least a little something from each one. It's difficult to believe that I'm going to be saying goodbye to so many of my peers, and all of the teachers and staff that make this school such an amazing place to be.

As I look about my bedroom, my computer, my cell phone, everywhere, I am finding reminders of everything I've gone through. Each of the laughs come rushing back to the forefront of my mind, each of the tears seem to be pointless. It's kind of crazy to think about how something that affected me so badly as I went through it, is so utterly unimportant now. I really can only see the smiles and laughs that I've exchanged, even when I try to remember the sorrows and tears.

I guess that one thing that middle school has taught me, is to never take anything for granted. Obviously I still do sometimes, but I'm a work in progress, aren't we all? And I'm not only talking about material objects, but I'm talking about the experiences that we've had. Good things, as well as bad things, don't last forever, nothing does, and we need to learn it, live it, and love it before it ends.

That quote, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain" is so true. Keeping our heads up, despite a torrential down pour that we may be in, is what we all need to learn how to do. Smiling, even though it seems like even nature can't help but to cry. Yes, dancing in the rain is what we all need to do.

I wish that I had realized that sooner. I wish it would be easier to live out, because even though I've realized it, I don't know what the chances are that I will always be able to stay optimistic. I think back to the times in the past three years that I thought I was going through absolute hell, and I can hardly even remember those times now, because they each led to something amazing. They each led to the rainbow. I wish that I had seen how trivial most of my problems were before I wasted so much time.

So now, even though the ending of this school year is bittersweet, the ending and the beginning, I don't have any regrets. Not a single one. Don't sit inside and mope as the rain pounds on the windows, get up, get out, and dance.

The Devil Can't Hurt Me

There are some days when I just want to give up hope. I just want to quit, because no matter how hard I try, it seems like I'm not good enough. And it becomes difficult to remember why I still have hope at all.

So I ask God, and that alone helps. Knowing that whatever happens, God is always listening, always caring, always loving. It helps so much more than I would've ever guessed a single thing could.

One specific night, I remember crying so badly, and I just didn't know what was happening. There was only so much I could do. I whispered to myself "God has a plan for you, God loves you" over and over again. Then that devil creeped up on my again, and screamed to my brain "There is no plan for you, you aren't important at all". I told him he was wrong. I'm here for a purpose, and I know it's true, even when it's hard to see, even when I am so lost and have no idea what step is next.

The song "Concrete Angel" then began to play on my Pandora account, and I saw why God wants me. God put me on this earth for a reason, He put us all on this earth for a reason. I have so many blessings, and I know that I could help people so much if I really tried. Maybe that's not God's entire plan for me, I don't know what He has in mind for my life, but I know that that's part of it. As long as there's still suffering in the world, I still have a purpose for being here.

The devil can't hurt me with the things that he says to me when I choose to listen to the one and only true God.