Fighting for Control

Jesus and I are wrestling for control of the steering wheel that is the directional for the car of my life.  It would seem as though I am winning, until I swerve into the left lane and oncoming traffic, but Jesus pulls car back into the right lane at the last moment.  This happens multiple times, until I finally get savvy to what He is doing, and begin to fight back again, even as He is saving my life.  One more close call, and I am fed up with His intervening in my driving, and jab His hands from the wheel with my elbow.  In that moment, though, I swerve the car in the opposite direction, and into a tree.  There is a sickening twist of metal, and the taste of iron in the back of my throat.  My body should be colliding with the tree with a sharp smack and cracking of bones, but something stops me, something protects me.  It is Jesus, throwing His own body over mine, to keep me from hurtling forward, as I should.  He, instead of I, takes the full force of the impact, and just like that, it is Jesus taking my place in the grave.

And given the opportunity, He would do it all over again.

My Autumn Rainbow

Last year, at this same time, I posted about this very same tree.  Time goes on, and yet another year flies by.  I remember watching this tree change, the leaves darkening into deep blood reds and pumpkin oranges.

It's the most beautiful tree that I saw, by far, two years ago, and now it stands as a sign to me that God never leaves my side.  As the perfectionist walls that I built so carefully around myself in 2010 came crashing down, my self-worth with it, this tree was being taken up in the flames of Fall.  I didn't know it at the time, but I would need God more than ever that year.

Eventually the year had passed, and I grew from the experience, however dreadful it may have been.  Then Autumn 2011 came around, and the tree began to change again.  The first time I noticed the leaves were no longer green, it was as though God was speaking to me, reminding me that He's here every moment of every day with me.  His message was so loud and clear, a symbolic version of Moses' burning bush, if you will.

And now it's year three of this beauty, and God is reminding me of His everlasting presence in my life yet again.  The changing of the tree is serving as a rainbow in my life, a promise from God, just as after the forty year flood and Noah's Ark.

This orange and red rainbow reminds me not of the worst times of my life, but of the way God worked and healed me throughout that.  God never leaves, He never forsakes, and He always loves.

Trapped

It happened years ago, anyone else involved has forgotten, or at least gotten over it, but you just can't get beyond that past self of yours.  You're wracked with guilt every day, or at least fairly often, and you just can't believe that you were once that person who would do something like that.  Since then, you've found God.  He's taught you a lot, and you know that He loves you enough to absolve all of your sins.  That's so difficult to believe at times, though.  You just can't shake the guilt.

It can seem impossible to believe that God loves us just the same after we've sinned as He did before we sinned, but it's true.  God does more than just forgive our sins when we repent, He completely forgets them. 

Sometimes it can be difficult to realize that it isn't God binding us to our sins, but ourselves.  We cling to the mistakes that we've made, feeling almost guilty if we keep them from people, even if it doesn't matter anymore.  Our sins trap us, imprison us, and we cannot leave the past in the past.  This is exactly what Jesus died to save us from.  He died so that we didn't have to be trapped by our sins, but sometimes we still choose to be.

It's time to choose not to live our lives in chains anymore.  It's time to pray.  Even if you've already asked for forgiveness, it's time to ask for help in finding self-acceptance.  If God can forgive our sins, then surely, with His help, you can, too.

Arms Wide Open

On one of the retreats that I went on this year with my church, the speaker passed out index cards to each of us, and asked us to write what we believe that God thinks when He thinks about us, and after the session, we went into our small groups.  While in our small groups, we were asked to share, if we were comfortable, what we had written on our index cards.  As we went around in our circle, reading out sentences out loud, my heart nearly broke at each of the negative beliefs.

It can be impossible to truly understand how deep God's love for us is.  He loves us no matter what.  No matter what we've done, no matter who we've been.  God loves us.  No.  Matter.  What.  God wants us no matter how broken we are, no matter how unworthy we feel.  He loved us when He created us, and so many years later, when sin had entered the world, He loved us enough to send His son to die on the cross in our place, and nothing, absolutely nothing, can change that.

Consider the story of the Prodigal Son, found in Luke 15:11-32.  The younger son takes his inheritance and leaves his father's house to go and squander the money, and years later he returns to his father's house, and the father immediately forgives him.  I think what is really amazing is found in verse 20:

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
 

Not only was the father able to accept his son back into his house, not only is he waiting outside for the son to arrive home, but he runs forward to meet his son and embrace him.  We are like the son, and God is the Father.  God isn't just waiting for us to come back to Him, He runs toward us with arms open wide the minute that we come into view. 

It doesn't matter how far away we were, it doesn't matter what we did while we were gone.  All that matters is that we've come back home, and God loves us no less than He did before we left.  He's waiting with open arms for us to return.

Jesus Loves Me

Sometimes being a Christian is hard.  Sometimes it can seem like there just isn't time for it, sometimes God can feel distant, sometimes we don't understand how things in this world can happen if God exists.  Sometimes we just don't get it.

And that is okay.

Some days, we are not meant to me the hard core Christians who have it all together.  Some days, the only thing that we can and have to cling to is the fact that Jesus loves us.  When we can't keep it all together, when we just feel like falling apart, we need to focus in on one thing that will always be true and will never change, Jesus's love for us.

Nobody is perfect, no matter how much we try to be.  But the good news is that Jesus took care of all of that for us.  He is there with open arms even when we're at our worst, and sometimes, we don't need to go any further than that.

Mark 10:13-16 say "And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them."

Children don't worry about the things that adults begin to worry about as they grow older.  Children accept ideas without question, a feat that can sometimes be all but impossible for an adult.  Children don't usually have a difficult time questioning God's love for them, and that is somethings special.

Jesus loves us, and that is forever true.

Give It All to God

I've probably written this on here a countless number of times, but I'll say it again, I am a worrier.  I stress myself out, and I get knots in my stomach over the smallest of things.  I've been a worry wart ever since I was a little kid, and I still remember times when my mom would tell me "Just give it all to God."

I worry over things that I can't control, and things that I can't change.  And I'll tell you, this time of year, I worry the most about the logistics for the mission trips that I've been attending with my youth group each year.  I worry about how the group dynamics will affect the trip, I worry about the drama that we'll carry there, start there, and bring back, I worry about who will be in my car and in my work group.  And it gets to a point where I'm just worrying in circles, but you know what?  I can't do anything about it.  Especially before the trip actually begins.

Last year was no different from any other year, and I had completely stressed myself out by the time we got to the trip.  As things played out on the very first day in Boston, I felt the knot in my stomach tighten and loosen multiple times.  And then, on Monday morning during devotions, I felt this overwhelming sense of peace come over me as I spoke to God.

"Lord, I have absolutely no idea what You're doing right now, and frankly, it scares me.  I don't like not knowing.  But what I do know is that You are all-knowing, and You have a plan for all of this.  So I'm just going to have to trust You.  I'm giving this worry to You.  Please, help me."

If I didn't just trust God, I would have let my worry and stress overwhelm me, and take over my trip.  My focus would have been on worrying, not on doing God's work.

I think that that happens a lot, that we let stress, or worry, or guilt, or sadness, or whatever emotion it is, take us over.  We can't do anything but wait and see how things turn out, but still, we frantically obsess. 

1 Peter 5:7 says "Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you."

God is there to take it all from us.  We just need to be willing to give it to Him.  We need to throw up our hands, and say "God, I can't do this without You, and I don't want to.  I need you to take this from me, and I need you to guide me."  God knows what He's doing, and once we get rid of our worries and give them to Him, He's going to do amazing things in our lives.

Faith: We are Never Alone

For a while, things in my life have been going great, which makes me very happy, for obvious reasons, but it seems as though God hasn't been as close as He is during the tough times.  I've prayed, and I've read my Bible, but no matter what I did, I just couldn't find that calming reassurance that has pulled me out of the worst times in my life.  I began to get worried.  I couldn't let this separation happen, just because there aren't many challenges in my life at this moment.

I didn't want bad things to start happening, but I wanted to feel God again,  I didn't want this slow drift apart.  Then, today, Never Alone by Barlow Girl came on when I was listening to music.  At first thought, it seems like it's meant to help during the low points in our life, times when everything seems to be going wrong, when no matter what we do, we are constantly falling down.  Then I thought, no, I can connect to this, even though I've had very little to overcome recently.



It has always been fairly easy for me to have Faith in God, because there have been very few moments when I haven't felt Him, so this has been an extremely odd experience for me.  But, of course, God is still there, and that's what Faith is, isn't it?  Hebrews 11:1 says "Faith is confidence in what we hope for, and assurance in what we do not see."

I'm beginning to learn that having a strong Faith has very little to do with how we respond when we can feel God's presence, but how we respond when we cannot.  Deuteronomy 31:6 says "Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you."  God will never leave us alone.  Never.  Not when we're furious and screaming at Him, not when we've locked ourselves in our bedrooms crying, not when we're filled with nothing but joy.

Our Faith can be tested at any time, not just in our struggles, as I believed until just recently.  So even when it seems as though God has abandoned us, we must trust that He is still with us, still walking through life with us.  When we believe otherwise, we are believing lies.

Slowing Down From 60

"I'm in a hurry to get things done, oh I, rush and rush until life's no fun, all I really gotta do is live and die, but I'm in a hurry and don't know why."

Being sixteen has made me think a lot about when I was little, because when I was little I had a lot of thoughts and imaginings that began with "When I'm sixteen I'll..." And very few of those statements have been found true, thus far. So much of my life has been spent fantasizing about the future. I'll be married at age twenty five, the mother of two by age thirty, maybe three by thirty five. And don't even get me started on college, I just want to skip through those four unpredictable and unknown years.

So wait, hold on a second. Isn't sixteen years old a pretty big year? So why am I constantly thinking about the future, constantly wishing my life away? What's the point in doing anything, if you only think about what you'll be doing years from now? It's time to take a breather and think about what I can do now. Who I can help, what new things I can try, who I'll meet, what effect I'll have on people's lives, how I deal with responsibilities.

I have to slow down, maybe even stop, and learn to live in the moment. 'Cause it's like the song says, at the end of this all, we are all going to die. It's true. Each and every one of us is going to die, and my hope is that the majority of us will end up in Heaven and eternal life with our Creator. But what about this years that we're given on Earth? I know that I don't want to spend my entire life just waiting to die. I want to have an effect on people here and now, I want to do great things right at this moment. I don't want to wait until I'm older, wiser, and more experienced. I want to make an impact right now. I want to enjoy these years, not wish them away.

I don't know about you, but right now I'm traveling sixty miles per hour down the most beautiful dirt road you'll ever find, and I need to slow down to see everything that I'm missing.

Watching the Footprints

A friend and I were talking earlier tonight about tough times that each of us has been through in our lives. We didn't leave it at that, though, because that's not where the story ended. We each made it through everything thrown in our path, eventually, and we've each become better because of the trials.

Last year on Youth Sunday at Church I shared my story of what I refer to as "hell year", a shorter version of the story can be found in my post from April first, 2011 titled "Perfection". God brought me through everything, even when I spent hours screaming at Him, for what, I do not know. I fell apart last year, and it is only now that I look back on it in it's entirety, brokenness, healing, and all, that I realize how amazing God's grace is.

At the time, I thought it would never end. I thought that I would be stuck in that rut forever, but look at me now, I've made it through! Often times I hear the quote "If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it" and though it's easy to believe in times of inner peace, it can appear questionable during times of turmoil. Perspective can be hard to gain. Now, if you know me, you probably know that I'm usually rather optimistic, often times irritatingly so, but there have still been times when all I wanted to do was throw my hands in the air and give up. Heck, there have been times when I actually have thrown my hands in the air and given up.

But that doesn't mean that God did. He was always right beside me, He still is always right there, even when I don't see it. And now, with around a years worth of hindsight I can see exactly where God was last year. I can see where He was working to get into my thick head, where I fought against Him, and where I gave in to Him. I can see that the single pair of footsteps in the sand belong not to me, but to God.

Lord of the Dance

When we began to sing this song in the service at my church on Sunday morning my mind was focused on the idea of worship, because that was the focus of the youth service the same morning, and I was trying to figure out how this was worship. It seemed like a call to action to me, a call to worship in a way other than song.

It's a call to dance for our Lord. Does that mean literally dance? No, well, not always, though it certainly can, but rather, glorify God in everything you do, and do it with a cheerful heart. To follow the choreography that He has created for us, because "[He'll] lead [us] all wherever [we] may be". We have to do nothing but dance, awaiting to be led, and follow when we are.

"It's hard to dance with the devil on your back"-this line struck me so much that I wrote it on a scrap of paper during the service. When I think of what this is trying to say, my initial thought is that it's difficult to accept God's forgiveness when you can't manage to forgive yourself, but then with a second thought my mind went to what might be the obvious for most. It's difficult to follow God when you're already leading a life of sin. When you aren't willing to leave the path that you're on and follow God on His, and you falter in between, you end up very, very lost. Everyone strays from the path, but the important part is that you find your way back afterwards.

"I danced for the fishermen, for James and John; They came to me, and the dance went on"-this part goes right along with the one above. The fishermen were willing to drop their nets, drop what they were doing, and follow Jesus. Maybe God is calling you to do something as extreme as the fishermen, or maybe not. Whatever God is calling you to do, listen to Him. Dance your way down the path that Jesus has prepared for you.

Absolutely Terrifying Beauty

I'm part of a small group/Bible study for high school girls in my church, and as we were talking about having positive self-talk last night, my mom, one of our leaders, was responding to another comment that was made, and she said "Sometimes, faith is just having the courage to keep going." and for whatever reason, it has stuck with me.

Actually, I know the reason. It's because of how true it is. There are moments when the only two options that we have are to keep trying, or to quit, and in most of those situations, quitting would be so much easier. It's like life is some sort of maze, with wonders and terrors strewn through.

Sometimes it would be more fun, easier, to sit down right were we are in the maze and say, "Nope. Not anymore, God. I quit. I don't know what's coming next, and if it's anything like what's come before, I don't want it. It isn't worth it." We refuse to listen to God, and we sit stubbornly right in the middle of that maze. All we see when we look back at where we've been are the monsters that have tried to tear us apart, but what we're forgetting is that we've picked up those gorgeous gardens along the way, and keep them in our pocket right with us. So we quit. We've all been there before. I know that I sure have.

But then, there are times when we don't quit, when we trust God, and walk through this maze. We widen our eyes at ourselves, and shake our heads, in disbelief that we're actually choosing to continue on, but still we know that God has amazing things planned for us. This maze has twice as many wonders as terrors, and even more in disguise.

Sometimes it seems as though we're walking through the maze alone, or blindly, but truly, I tell you, both are lies. We are never alone, never. God does not leave our sides, not in the good times, and most definitely not in the bad times. He's no fair-weather-friend, this amazing God of ours. And best of all, not only is He with us, but God is leading us through it. If only we would let Him, He'll take our hands in His and lead us through the twists and turns. It's only when we stray from Him that we get lost and hit these dead ends, but eventually we'll find that He's following right behind us, just waiting for us to turn around and fall into His loving arms.

There's nothing more beautiful than the love of Jesus Christ, and there's nothing more terrifying than living the life that He has for you. But when you put it together you aren't left with monsters and horrors. What you're left with is absolutely terrifying beauty. And there isn't anything more amazing than that.

So, yeah, doing God's work in the world takes an explicit amount of faith, but sometimes just continuing on takes even more. You'll see, though, that He never fails, never ever, and if you just turn around in this maze, you'll see Jesus waiting with arms outstretched to hold you and love you. So answer me this, will you turn around and let Him carry you?

The Worst Way to Get in Shape

Whenever I'm stressed out, worried, or angry, the muscles in my stomach tighten. I'll walk around for days, sometimes even weeks, with my stomach muscles clenched. You can imagine how this ends up hurting after a while, though I suppose that it is actually really good for my muscles.

The point here is that my internal emotions venture outside of my head and into the physical part of me, even if it's only a little thing causing me to worry. I obsess over even the smallest issue until it's come to a conclusion. And I know that it goes too far when I have to literally try to loosen my muscles.

It's in those moments when I'm trying to force my muscles to let go that I hear God, as odd as it sounds. God tells me that it's okay to worry about things, but not to let them take control of my life. I can't constantly think about issues. Matthew 6:27 says "Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" So as I struggle to loosen the muscles in my stomach, I tell myself that whatever I'm worried about won't last forever, and worrying about it won't do any good, anyway.

I don't know why I worry about things so much, whether it's a personality trait, or something that must be fixed, but either way it isn't good. And though it helps to work my stomach muscles, I'm sure there are much more conventional ways to get in shape than constantly obsessing over issues.

Troubles Aren't Always Tests

Sometimes our lives can be easy-breazy, and pure bliss, and other times we find that we are going through a horrific challenge. Up until now I thought that these challenges were always tests, or lessons, at least, from God, but now I'm beginning to think that there is a third option.

During these happy, blissful easy times in our lives, we are being built up. Life is easy, and there is plenty of time to learn and to focus on who we are as a person. We're being taught lessons of love and acceptance, we're given momentary gifts of happiness. And then when it all comes crashing down we don't realize that maybe, just maybe, God hasn't done all of this to test us, or to teach us more, but maybe, God has done this because it is our turn the be the teachers.

Now it's our turn to go out into the world, and to teach others what it's like to know God, to give the gift of bliss to the next person, and eventually, you'll find more happiness in this than you've ever known before. We can't blame God for taking away what we've taken for granted. When we lose people we love, or people change, we can't spend so much time wondering why, but spending our time being that type of person that people don't want to lose.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this. In difficult times, don't spend forever grieving, go out and make those wonderful times for others. Eventually it'll come back around to you, and it'll be there to stay.

"But" Vs. "God"

A friend shared this video with another friend who posted it on Facebook, and it was like a brick to the head for me, one of those "AHA!" moments that we talked about in Confirmation class.



"God, I'm doing the best I can! But..."
"I'm doing the best I can! But..."
"The best I can! But..."
"But..."

We start with the right intentions, but a few failures will leave us with nothing but ourselves and excuses to quit. When we're left with nothing except "buts" we lose our God-focus, and see imperfection after imperfection, failure after failure.

But what happens when we go the other way?

"God, I'm doing the best I can! But..."
"God, I'm doing the best I can!"
"God, I'm doing the best!"
"God,"

And it's then, when rather than going from the beginning to the "but" that we go from the beginning to the "God" that we have reason to keep on going. No, we are never going to be perfect, that's how it is, but when we focus on the "God" part, rather than the "but" part, we find the strength to continue God's work, rather than the excuses to quit.

A Tribute to My Girls

My friends and I are at the age when we are going to Sweet 16 parties practically every weekend, and tonight I was at one of those parties.

Going from middle school to high school was, well, difficult, to say the least. It still is tough at times, mostly because of how much I hate change (I'm working on it, I promise). It seems like everything is entirely different. Classes, people, scheduling, weekends, homework, friends, everything. But tonight I felt a little bit of the past at the party with us.


We sat around and talked, we danced, we sang, we laughed at each other, we laughed at ourselves, and we laughed at things that weren't even remotely funny. We had a genuinely good time. And it was in these moments, dancing as though nobody was watching, laughing so obnoxiously loud but not caring, that I realized how much these girls and I have been through together.

I've been together with some of these girls since elementary school, and some since middle school, and together we made it through all of the trials that came with our different phases. It was with these girls that I played tag on the playground at recess in elementary school, these girls who I studied and laughed with in middle school. We would find each other crying in the bathrooms at school, and immediately know what was wrong, we would comfort one another. We stayed up into all hours of the night giggling over magazines and boys, playing truth or dare, eating whatever we wanted at sleep overs.

We taught each other how to do cart wheels in the sixth grade when we decided that we were going to try out to be cheerleaders, we walked for hours together at Relay for Life all three years of middle school, we laughed until our stomachs hurt at lunch. We passed notes during boring classes, and we (accidentally) threw an open water bottle across the room in eighth grade Social Studies (maybe that's why the teacher didn't like me, heh heh), we were brutally honest with each other, and we cheered when casts finally came off.

We claimed "countries" when friends started to fight (I've been Switzerland since fifth grade. Switzerland is mine ;).), we went through phases when we listened to one song on repeat for months, we made countless "movies" in each others houses, each with countless costumes and plot lines.

Now, don't get me wrong, we've had our share of arguments, but we've always made it through them together. We've been furious with people that we haven't even met for hurting our friend, and we've seen each other's personalities change and develop, and we've learned to love each other for who we are at any given moment, not who we've been or who we'll become.

Together, we're cooky and crazy, we're loud and obnoxious. We're ready for anything, because when elementary and middle school brought us together, we were brought together for good. So, thank you to My Girls for being one of the few constants in an ever changing life <3

Fiftieth Post: Two Posts Too Early

When I started this blog way back when in May of 2009 I had no idea what it would become. It started as a "Read it and Weep" type of diary that I had given up on after maybe three or four entries. Then, over a year later in November of 2010, I deleted those initial posts and began a Gratitude Journal, figuring that that's what this blog would be. Now it's a web page that God is using to use me in this world. It feels kind of crazy.

This was the kind of post that I hoped to write as my fiftieth post, not my forty eighth, but I think that it's time for me to write it now. God has used this simple blog to change my life. Sounds crazy, doesn't it?

Since I began blogging I've grown so much closer to God, and I've learned so much about Him. He taught me to always have my eyes, ears, and of course my heart, open to what He wants me to hear and to share. God has taught me that He can use me to reach other people, even in simple ways. Can you believe that Abby's Abstracts has had 1,998 page views since creation? I can't.

Every post was a lesson that God sent to me, and a lesson that I may not have learned if I didn't process it while writing a post. And you know what? God has blessed me with each of you who read this blog, because it's very likely that if nobody ever read what I wrote, I wouldn't bother writing it after a while, and I would have missed out on all of the lessons that God had in store. So thank you, and thank God!

Passing on the Advice: Dating

For Christmas the leaders of the small group I attend at Church gave each of us a gift. It was a book, "Girl Talk With God" by Susie Shellenberger. This book is full of modern day conversations between a teenage girl and God. They are real, contemporary, and oh so easy to connect with. Though I haven't quite gotten through the entire thing yet, there is a lot of advice and a lot of truth in this book, some of it we don't want to face. It's from this book that I'd like to pass on advice about dating and relationships.

As a teenage girl, I am no stranger to how dating relationships work, and to the fact that they are all around me. I see couples all around me, happy couples, angry couples, good couples, bad couples, and a few just plain weird couples, and it is easy to wonder why I'm not involved in this dating scene, and I'm sure that I am not alone in this. I know that I would rather be with no guy at all than the wrong one, but often times I find myself wondering why that right guy, at least the right guy for this point in my life, hasn't come along. Why am I so different than so many of my friends?

This book, "Girl Talk with God", spells it out wonderfully. God is pointing out to the girl in the book that this boy that she's dating is not the right one for her, not for that moment in her life, and certainly not to marry, and He asks her to trust him with her love life. God says: "Trust that in My perfect timing, I will bring exactly whom I want in your life."

This goes for anything, not just dating relationships, or marriage, this goes for all kinds of relationships and scenarios. God has things under control, I promise you. He knows what He's doing, and even though sometimes we don't understand it, we have to do our best to trust that He is going to lead us in the right direction.

As any teenage girl, or any person, for that matter, the girl in the book responds to God conflicted. She wants to trust Him, and she knows that His timing is perfect, but, as she points out, God's timing isn't always as fast as we wish it to be. And to this worry, God replies simply: "But I'm never late."

Like the previous quote, this applies to practically everything in our lives. God knows what He's doing, and even when we wish He would hurry up with His plan, He is never, ever late. So take some time to breathe, and to trust in our Lord, that He has our lives under control, even when we think that all we do is wait.

God: "You don't have to do anything except be totally in love with me." This can be tough for some of us, taking a step back and allowing God to have total control, especially in a thing such as our love life. This means that we do not need to be constantly looking for a boyfriend, or girlfriend, because when God wants to bring someone into our life, He will, He doesn't need our help. God will handle it all, our only job is to fall so deeply in love with God that another person has to seek Him to find us.

This one last piece of advice from "Girl Talk with God" is probably the most difficult one to follow. God asks the girl: "What if I choose not to share you with a man?" and the girl replies: "I can't understand that, God." God: "I know. But with My strength you can accept without understanding." For many of us the idea that maybe God isn't planning a marriage for us can be scary, and as the girl points out, not easily understood. We won't understand everything that God has planned for us, it's likely that we won't understand most of what God has planned for us, but we aren't meant to.

So if God doesn't put someone in our lives, that doesn't mean that we are any less than someone who has a boyfriend or girlfriend, or than someone who is married. It simply means that He has a different plan in mind. Accepting that is difficult, and not possible to do by ourselves, but with our Lord's strength, He has made it possible. God loves us, and even when we don't understand, and even when we are waiting for what seems like forever, He hasn't forgotten us, He hasn't left us.