Changing the Secrets

There's a website. Six Billion Secrets. sixbillionsecrets.com. And so many people who have written on that site are so alone.

It absolutely breaks my heart that so many people don't have someone to talk to, someone who can help them, who will be there for them. And a lot of people reading this blog post, or many of the secrets posted on that website will say that it's all melodrama. But I don't believe that. Yeah, maybe some of it is, but if that was your best friend, or son, or daughter, or sister, or brother, writing on that website, feeling those feelings, you'd want to help them, wouldn't you?

How have we let so many people feel so lost, so sad and upset? Maybe you are one of those people, asking yourself the same question. Or maybe you're like me, wondering how you, with a wonderful life, have overlooked all of that pain and sorrow in the people around you. Or maybe you fit into a completely different category. I just don't know where the happiness has gone. I'm not blaming anyone, because believe me, I know that it's not a choice you make to be unhappy.

So my challenge to you today is to go out and be that person that someone needs. Be the shoulder to cry on, the listening ear, the care that people are so desperately looking for. Do a few random acts of kindness. You may not be able to change the entire world, but each one of us has the capability to change at least one person's world. I'm going to try to think before I say, and try to always help people, because I might never know what else is going on in their life. Together, we can make happier secrets.

Dancing in the Rain

The school year is coming to a close. Actually, at this point, it is at a close. With only one and a half days to go, I am left remembering the three glorious years that I've had at my middle school. Some of the memories that I have are happy, some are not so happy. Nevertheless, I love each and every one of them.

I've come into contact with so many new people in these past three years, and I've learned at least a little something from each one. It's difficult to believe that I'm going to be saying goodbye to so many of my peers, and all of the teachers and staff that make this school such an amazing place to be.

As I look about my bedroom, my computer, my cell phone, everywhere, I am finding reminders of everything I've gone through. Each of the laughs come rushing back to the forefront of my mind, each of the tears seem to be pointless. It's kind of crazy to think about how something that affected me so badly as I went through it, is so utterly unimportant now. I really can only see the smiles and laughs that I've exchanged, even when I try to remember the sorrows and tears.

I guess that one thing that middle school has taught me, is to never take anything for granted. Obviously I still do sometimes, but I'm a work in progress, aren't we all? And I'm not only talking about material objects, but I'm talking about the experiences that we've had. Good things, as well as bad things, don't last forever, nothing does, and we need to learn it, live it, and love it before it ends.

That quote, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain" is so true. Keeping our heads up, despite a torrential down pour that we may be in, is what we all need to learn how to do. Smiling, even though it seems like even nature can't help but to cry. Yes, dancing in the rain is what we all need to do.

I wish that I had realized that sooner. I wish it would be easier to live out, because even though I've realized it, I don't know what the chances are that I will always be able to stay optimistic. I think back to the times in the past three years that I thought I was going through absolute hell, and I can hardly even remember those times now, because they each led to something amazing. They each led to the rainbow. I wish that I had seen how trivial most of my problems were before I wasted so much time.

So now, even though the ending of this school year is bittersweet, the ending and the beginning, I don't have any regrets. Not a single one. Don't sit inside and mope as the rain pounds on the windows, get up, get out, and dance.

The Devil Can't Hurt Me

There are some days when I just want to give up hope. I just want to quit, because no matter how hard I try, it seems like I'm not good enough. And it becomes difficult to remember why I still have hope at all.

So I ask God, and that alone helps. Knowing that whatever happens, God is always listening, always caring, always loving. It helps so much more than I would've ever guessed a single thing could.

One specific night, I remember crying so badly, and I just didn't know what was happening. There was only so much I could do. I whispered to myself "God has a plan for you, God loves you" over and over again. Then that devil creeped up on my again, and screamed to my brain "There is no plan for you, you aren't important at all". I told him he was wrong. I'm here for a purpose, and I know it's true, even when it's hard to see, even when I am so lost and have no idea what step is next.

The song "Concrete Angel" then began to play on my Pandora account, and I saw why God wants me. God put me on this earth for a reason, He put us all on this earth for a reason. I have so many blessings, and I know that I could help people so much if I really tried. Maybe that's not God's entire plan for me, I don't know what He has in mind for my life, but I know that that's part of it. As long as there's still suffering in the world, I still have a purpose for being here.

The devil can't hurt me with the things that he says to me when I choose to listen to the one and only true God.

More to Us

I can't undo the things that led us to this place

But I know there's something more to us than our mistakes

How difficult is it for everyone to look past mistakes? To look beyond imperfections? To ignore faults? It's seemingly impossible. Trying to find the good, and overlooking the bad, is probably one of the most difficult things that we'll try to accomplish in our lifetimes. I know that it's one of my worst struggles.

I have a tricky time trying to realize that it isn't our mistakes that define us, regardless of who I'm thinking about, myself or others. I tend to be extremely tough on myself, and I don't always see that I mean more than how I've messed up. Because I am so tough on myself, I can also be somewhat tough on other people as well, though maybe not quite as bad. There are times when I know that I've had enough, but there other times when I've just been putting ridiculous expectations on people, events, occurances, everything.

Somehow our mistakes, and our accomplishments, have led us to where we are right now, this very moment. We've lived and we've learned. There is no going back. No undoing things that have already been done. No way to change what's already happened. None at all. No re-do's or do-overs allowed.

So sometimes, we're left pondering how we've gotten ourselves into such a big mess. How did we get here? Where did I go wrong? Or maybe you know exactly what happened. Maybe you know exactly where the turning point was, where your mistake, or mistakes, were made. Either way, it isn't fun knowing that you've messed up, and often times, we dwell on what we've done to the point of exhaustion. We let our anger at ourselves, or at others, eat away at us. It does no good.

There is so much more to us than the mistakes that we've made. We each have so much to offer the world, so much that makes us special and unique. Hidden talents, unveiled hobbies, different interests. Not one of us is the same, and we are in this world for a reason. We cannot spend our whole lives regretting, we'll miss out on so much, and the world needs us.

You think your mistakes are too big? That there's no way to get past them? That they are trapping you? Please, please think again. You are worth so much more than that miniscule mistake, no matter how big it seems to you. Acts 13:38 says “Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you." God loves you, and He has already forgiven you. Don't close yourself into a box, but go out into the world, and be your precious self.

Now I'm in our secret place

Alone in your embrace

Where all my wrongs have been erased

You have forgiven

The quote at the beginning of this post is from the Skillet song "Believe" and the quote at the end of this post is from the Skillet song "Forgiven".