Running

She smiles softly to herself,
The wind, like fingers, softly caresses her hair.
There is nothing that she has to fear.
A gentle push away from the path,
Tells her to stray from conformity,
And forge her own way through the overbearing world.
The forest surrounds her,
In what seems to be her last chance,
To escape the place that she is lost in,
She begins to sprint,
Green and brown blurring in the sides of her vision.
She stops abruptly,
Everything starts to spin.
In and out, she breathes,
Looking at what surrounds her.
Staring, but not really seeing.
Take a step back,
And once again the world is in perspective.
She can see the path that was not meant for her,
And it is only feet away,
Though it seems as though she was running for hours.
That gentle touch, guides her in the right direction,
Once again.

The Voice of Truth

The past couple of months have been pretty difficult for me, compared to what seemed like pure bliss last year. Three people, right in a row, made the same assumption about me, and who I am as a person. They were completely and totally wrong, but for a little while, I believed it. I thought that maybe I don't see myself clearly, and I really am what they said I was. I was tired of being used, or, rather, I was tired of people trying to use me. Usually they didn't succeed, though they always managed to make me feel terrible about myself. There were briefs sections of time when things seemed like they were going to get better, but something would happen again, and it seemed as though it was never going to end.
Then, right after the third person made those incorrect assumptions about me, I decided that they were wrong. They had absolutely no right to say those things to me, and absolutely no reason to believe those things about me. I am loved, and I love myself, no matter what they say. If I didn't let what they thought or said affect me, then it couldn't be true. That evening, I stood in one of the rooms at our church with three boys after their confirmation class. One of them pulled out his iPod, and began to play the song "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns.
The song has a really nice message in it, about not believing what other people think about us, and not listening to what Satan says to try and discourage us. I stood in the room as the three boys sang along with the song, and even though they were completely off key, it was one of the most beautiful things that I had ever heard. I held back tears as I had the realization that it doesn't matter what those people think of me, God loves me, and that's all that's ever going to matter.
God loves each and everyone of us even more than we can comprehend, and it's Satan who comes after us, and tries to make us believe that we are worthless, and begin to wish that we weren't who we are. God is The Voice of Truth, The only One who we can ever count on to always show us what's real, and what isn't. God loves us for all of eternity, and He wants us to know that.

We All Bleed Red

Think back to the last time that someone has hurt you or wronged you, maybe it was years ago, maybe it was moments ago, but it has happened to all of us. We just want to hold that grudge against that person forever, we want to hold back our forgiveness. Now, think back to that phrase that you've heard all your life, "put yourself in the other person's shoes". You don't want to, there's no point, you think, it wouldn't change anything. But you know that's not true. You know that if you really changed your perspective on the situation, you would want forgiveness. You would want to know that you can begin to stop feeling so badly about what had happened, because most people do feel badly about hurting someone else, even if it's sometimes hard to see.
Fighting about petty matters won't help anyone. It's only hurting both people. We all make mistakes, we all hurt other people, we all love, and we all laugh. We are who we are, imperfections and all.
Next time that somebody has hurt you, next time that somebody wrongs you, remember, we all bleed red. Don't hold back the forgiveness that you yourself would want, that you know that person deserves.Remember, we all are imperfect, none of us are without blame, so give the forgiveness that you've been holding back on.

So here's to all of the people who I've been holding back forgiveness from. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my unwillingness to let go, to forgive. I'm releasing my anger. I'm forgiving.

Spring Fever

Yes, it is that time of year again. It's that time of year when we are on the cusp of Spring. We can smell the freshness of the air in thr morning, and we can feel the squishiness of the wet ground underneath our feet. In useless attempts at making Spring come faster, we wear our Spring time clothing just a *tad* too early. We start thinking about Spring cleaning, well, some people do, I'm usually more of a "push-it-off-as-long-as-possible" cleaner.
Spring is defintely in the air. We know it's coming, and we all have a slight case of Spring Fever. There's just something special about Spring. Something that brings a smile to my face. If you haven't already noticed, I'm a generally nostalgic person. I can get lost in my memories, I can relive the moments I want to, and sometimes even the ones I don't want to. This Spring is like happiness in a bottle for me. Last Spring was so amazing, there aren't even words to describe it. Friendships were blossoming alongside the flowers all over the place, and I couldn't seem to keep a smile from spreading over my face for very long.
A month or so ago I thought that this Spring would be inevitably different. There was no way that after everything that has happened this year Spring would be great. But now, now I think that maybe it can be just as great. Different, yes, but still filled with smiles and happiness.
My nostalgia sometimes makes me think that repitition is the only way to ever be happy. Remember the happy moments, and make them happen again. But that only leads me into sadness, because it's impossible to recreate moments that are special enough to engrave themselves in my memory forever. That's what makes them so special. No number of attempts and precautions and planning will ever make it possible to recreate memories, so why try? It only takes up time that should be spent making new memories, more cherished moments.
So, welcome, Spring 2011! It's time to make some more memories!

Change

History starts now. Life starts now. Forget everything else. Forget the mistakes, the problems, the tears, the cries. Forget it all. Take life one step at a time, you're only going to trip if you look too far back or too far forward. Let today be the first day of the rest of your life, and don't let anything hold you back from your biggest dreams, because with a little bit of craziness, a ton of determination, and a whole lot of faith in God, you can achieve anything.

We can be anybody who we want to be. Don't get caught up in the mistakes that you've made in the past, because those mistakes are not what define who you are. Yeah, there are going to be effects of those mistakes that you will inevitably deal with, but those are only a minor setback. Make a choice to be somebody better, today. Make a decision to make time for the people who need you. Choose to put another couple of dollars in the offering plate at Church. Talk to that girl who nobody likes. Be the type of person who you want to know. Don't watch the world change, be the change.

This is me forgiving myself. This is me accepting what has happened. This is me making a change.

You can too.