Just a half an hour ago or so, I was hit with a huge wave of feelings of inferiority, of worthlessness. I was beginning to feel like I was losing my intelligence, something that I have used to define me for so long. After many tears and texts to friends, I finally got into bed. Before I went to sleep, though, I felt this need to pray, so I did. I felt that I could hear God talking to me, and the conversation went something like this:
Me: God, I'm just not anything anymore. I'm really just not special.
God: That's not true. I think you are. I love you.
Me: But why?
God: Because I created you.
Me: Yeah, but what does that have to do with me?
God: Nothing. That's kind of the point.
Me: Huh?
God: When people look at you, they shouldn't see you. They should see me, and my love.
Me: Wow. That makes a lot of sense.
It was with this conversation with God that I realized that maybe I need to rethink my defining characteristics. The number one thing that I should want people to see when they look at me is how much God loves us, so I shouldn't care about the other things nearly as much. Seeing as it's so late, and that this just happened, I have very little commentary on this conversation right now, but perhaps God will have something to add about this topic at a later date. Until then, goodnight, and sleep well, everybody!
