Trapped

It happened years ago, anyone else involved has forgotten, or at least gotten over it, but you just can't get beyond that past self of yours.  You're wracked with guilt every day, or at least fairly often, and you just can't believe that you were once that person who would do something like that.  Since then, you've found God.  He's taught you a lot, and you know that He loves you enough to absolve all of your sins.  That's so difficult to believe at times, though.  You just can't shake the guilt.

It can seem impossible to believe that God loves us just the same after we've sinned as He did before we sinned, but it's true.  God does more than just forgive our sins when we repent, He completely forgets them. 

Sometimes it can be difficult to realize that it isn't God binding us to our sins, but ourselves.  We cling to the mistakes that we've made, feeling almost guilty if we keep them from people, even if it doesn't matter anymore.  Our sins trap us, imprison us, and we cannot leave the past in the past.  This is exactly what Jesus died to save us from.  He died so that we didn't have to be trapped by our sins, but sometimes we still choose to be.

It's time to choose not to live our lives in chains anymore.  It's time to pray.  Even if you've already asked for forgiveness, it's time to ask for help in finding self-acceptance.  If God can forgive our sins, then surely, with His help, you can, too.

Arms Wide Open

On one of the retreats that I went on this year with my church, the speaker passed out index cards to each of us, and asked us to write what we believe that God thinks when He thinks about us, and after the session, we went into our small groups.  While in our small groups, we were asked to share, if we were comfortable, what we had written on our index cards.  As we went around in our circle, reading out sentences out loud, my heart nearly broke at each of the negative beliefs.

It can be impossible to truly understand how deep God's love for us is.  He loves us no matter what.  No matter what we've done, no matter who we've been.  God loves us.  No.  Matter.  What.  God wants us no matter how broken we are, no matter how unworthy we feel.  He loved us when He created us, and so many years later, when sin had entered the world, He loved us enough to send His son to die on the cross in our place, and nothing, absolutely nothing, can change that.

Consider the story of the Prodigal Son, found in Luke 15:11-32.  The younger son takes his inheritance and leaves his father's house to go and squander the money, and years later he returns to his father's house, and the father immediately forgives him.  I think what is really amazing is found in verse 20:

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
 

Not only was the father able to accept his son back into his house, not only is he waiting outside for the son to arrive home, but he runs forward to meet his son and embrace him.  We are like the son, and God is the Father.  God isn't just waiting for us to come back to Him, He runs toward us with arms open wide the minute that we come into view. 

It doesn't matter how far away we were, it doesn't matter what we did while we were gone.  All that matters is that we've come back home, and God loves us no less than He did before we left.  He's waiting with open arms for us to return.