This may not be a new post to some of you, though I'm not sure when the last one started to malfunction, so maybe it's new to all of you. The song that I embedded in the last one would automatically redirect to a new page, so I've switched the link, in hopes that this will cure the issue. I apologize for any issues you may have had in viewing my blog.
"He knows how much it hurts". Every time that we cry out to Jesus, "Why?" remember, that he knows exactly what we're going through. For two reasons...
1) God was human too, we call Him Jesus. Jesus lived on this very Earth, breathed this very air, and had many of these very pains. Jesus has been there, done that. He made it through, now it's our turn, and He is guiding us through it all, not leaving our sides for a single moment. "In this world you will have troubles, but take heart! I have overcome the world." ~John 16:33 and
2)God loves you so, so much, and anything that hurts you, hurts Him just as much. We cry "Lord, why are you letting this happen to me?" and He cries alongside us, knowing that we have to make it through these trials to make us stronger. God doesn't like to see us in pain, He sent his one and only son to take our places on the cross. But that doesn't mean that He's going to take away our pains and aches, because they all have a purpose in our lives. My mom often gives the analogy of an infant getting a shot at the doctor's office. That needle hurts the little baby, and he doesn't understand why his mommy or daddy let this stranger do that to him, but his parents know better. The baby's parents know that without the shot, the infant is at risk for diseases so much worse than the prick of a needle. Does that mean that the parents want to hear those cries of betrayal from their child, that it's easy for them to hear their baby cry? No, of course not, that's ridiculous, right? Right. That's what God is doing for us now. We don't understand it at this moment, but God knows that what is happening is for the better, and He knows that what is happening is better than the alternative, no matter how much it hurts the both of us.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11. Trust in the Lord, give your whole heart to Him, and praise him through the storms in your life. God is never going to let us go, so all that's left is for us to trust in him.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
A Search for Truth
From a very early age we have the idea that each of us is a special individual pounded into our heads. The idea that we shouldn't let anyone treat us less then our supposed worth. But I've recently found that that is a truth that you need to discover for yourself, well, at least I did. I'm always hearing from the people around me "You're so special!" "You're such a wonderful person!" "Wait for the guy who knows he's lucky to have you!" "Forget about them, they obviously don't know what you're worth."
It's enough to make anyone believe it. But there was a day last week when I found myself wondering, what makes me worth so much? I'm really no different than the next person. Yeah, I have my quirks, and I have my qualities, but it isn't anything that couldn't be found somewhere else. So many people were saying the same thing for so long, though. For such a large amount of people to know and believe that each person is special, that each person is worth so much, there must be something that they're seeing that I'm not.
So I decided that I had to find my worth for myself, and stop letting other people tell me the same things over and over again. And guess where I found myself. The Bible. I read those verses that we've heard a hundred times, the verses about how special we each are, and how God loves all of us no matter what, and there shed some new light.
There are little side notes all through out my Bible, and one speaks about 2 Corinthians 10:12 (I'm not going to post what this verse actually says right now, and you'll see why in just a few moments, though I encourage you to look it up yourself. Biblegateway.com is a great online Bible to use if you'd prefer easier access). This side note gets inside the mind of a teenager. "Carol has nicer clothes. Jason is smarter. Carl can dunk a basketball. Karen has thick, wavy hair. Danny makes friends easily." I'm sorry to break it to you, but there's always going to be someone who's better at you at anything in particular, if you look at things that way.
Maybe you aren't as fashion forward as someone else, or you don't get as good of grades, but then you're forgetting about the calming effect that you have on people, or the way that you can make anyone laugh.
So there was my answer. It was actually really easy to find. Those people all around me were right. God created me as a masterpiece. God created you as a masterpiece. God created everyone as a masterpiece. The thing is that very often, we look at just parts of a whole, not the entire product. We see singly mediocre qualities, but God sees the whole, beautiful masterpiece. We focus on being the best in a world of billions, when we should really be focusing on being the best "us" we can be.
And there was my truth. No, when you look at one, or two, or even three or four qualities it's easy to find a replacement Abby, but it's when you put my whole being together that you have that special, worthy person that everyone is always telling me about. And I bet that you can find the same truth.
To help YOU find YOUR OWN truth, I've listed a few Bible verses (this is merely a starting point, my friends, you are not only allowed, but encouraged to stray from my suggestions, or go further in your search for truth)...
It's enough to make anyone believe it. But there was a day last week when I found myself wondering, what makes me worth so much? I'm really no different than the next person. Yeah, I have my quirks, and I have my qualities, but it isn't anything that couldn't be found somewhere else. So many people were saying the same thing for so long, though. For such a large amount of people to know and believe that each person is special, that each person is worth so much, there must be something that they're seeing that I'm not.
So I decided that I had to find my worth for myself, and stop letting other people tell me the same things over and over again. And guess where I found myself. The Bible. I read those verses that we've heard a hundred times, the verses about how special we each are, and how God loves all of us no matter what, and there shed some new light.
There are little side notes all through out my Bible, and one speaks about 2 Corinthians 10:12 (I'm not going to post what this verse actually says right now, and you'll see why in just a few moments, though I encourage you to look it up yourself. Biblegateway.com is a great online Bible to use if you'd prefer easier access). This side note gets inside the mind of a teenager. "Carol has nicer clothes. Jason is smarter. Carl can dunk a basketball. Karen has thick, wavy hair. Danny makes friends easily." I'm sorry to break it to you, but there's always going to be someone who's better at you at anything in particular, if you look at things that way.
Maybe you aren't as fashion forward as someone else, or you don't get as good of grades, but then you're forgetting about the calming effect that you have on people, or the way that you can make anyone laugh.
So there was my answer. It was actually really easy to find. Those people all around me were right. God created me as a masterpiece. God created you as a masterpiece. God created everyone as a masterpiece. The thing is that very often, we look at just parts of a whole, not the entire product. We see singly mediocre qualities, but God sees the whole, beautiful masterpiece. We focus on being the best in a world of billions, when we should really be focusing on being the best "us" we can be.
And there was my truth. No, when you look at one, or two, or even three or four qualities it's easy to find a replacement Abby, but it's when you put my whole being together that you have that special, worthy person that everyone is always telling me about. And I bet that you can find the same truth.
To help YOU find YOUR OWN truth, I've listed a few Bible verses (this is merely a starting point, my friends, you are not only allowed, but encouraged to stray from my suggestions, or go further in your search for truth)...
- 2 Corinthians 10:12
- 1 Corinthians 7:23
- 1 John 3:1
- Jeremiah 29:11
- Genesis 1:26-27
- Psalm 139:13-14
- John 3:16 (This is an easy one, heh heh, it's at the top of the screen)
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
A Team Sport
I've just felt an immense urge to write about this, and I can't hold it back, so I'm just going to let my fingers fly across the keys, and let God lead them.
The above song, as well as this quote (from the To Write Love on Her Arm facebook page), popped up on my phone right in a row "I needed someone to tell me 'you're gonna get through this' . . . to mean it, to really want to help me." and I think that this is God speaking to each of us. We need to be there for the people around us. No matter how close we are to any given person.
I think that sometimes it can be easiest to forget to be there for the people who we are extremely close to. We just grow to expect things to be a certain way, and we don't think much of it. We expect everything in a usually optimistic person's life to be fine and dandy, and we tune out the negative complaints of a usually pessimistic friend because we think everything they are complaining about is really no big deal. But what if we listened? What if we honestly asked our friends how they were doing? Would we get the answer that we expected?
I don't know. I'm sure that sometimes we do get an answer that we would expect, but I'm also pretty sure that too often we would get an answer that we didn't see coming. Do we really know the people closest to us? Just knowing someones favorite color and shoe size, what makes them laugh and what makes them cry, doesn't mean a thing if they are dying inside and we miss it.
And sometimes we are sure that our friends would come to us if they really needed us, but I don't believe that that is always the case. Maybe they don't want to put more weight on our shoulders, maybe they don't want to show any signs of weakness, maybe they, as I had done for so long, thought that they needed to be perfect, and letting down their defenses was equivalent to messing up. We can't always trust that the people who we are closest to would come to us when they needed us.
There is another side to that, as well, though. When you are falling apart, and you feel as though nothing is ever going to go right in your life, talk to the people around you. Don't go through all of the pain in life alone. God put us here together for a reason, He didn't want us to live this life on Earth alone. And that brings us to another point, don't ever lose hope, because even when it seems like all is lost, God is still there, cheering you on, wiping your tears away, telling you that you can do it. We just need to listen.
Listen to your friends, and let your friends listen to you. This thing called life is a team sport.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
29 Ways to Stay Creative
I "stumbled upon" this picture on stumbleupon.com, and thought that this list made a lot of sense. This may be entitled 29 Ways to Stay Creative, but I think that this list could also be considered 29 Ways to Achieve Happiness. Obviously, this isn't a foolproof guide to happiness or creativity, but it's definitely some advice to think about. I don't really have much else to say about this list, it seems to do most of the speaking for itself, so I'm going to leave it at that.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Our Amazing God: Time Goes On
Last year, right around this time, a lot of craziness started in my life, and it's difficult for me to believe that that was a whole year ago now, while at the time, I didn't think that it would ever end. Today I looked out of the window and saw a tree beginning to change colors in my back yard, full of bright reds and oranges and yellows, and was transported back to last year.
I had my computer staying on the dining room table during this era in my life, and I would do my homework, and work on National Novel Writing Month outlines and whatnot each afternoon in this room with this big window facing this big beautiful colored tree. I watched as it went up in flames in the oranges and reds of Fall, then as the leaves fell one by one to the ground, Winter approaching slowly. Then, as if to prove that there was still life under those mounds of snow, I watched this tree slowly bud into small flowers that quickly turned to healthy green leaves, the image of the reds and oranges from Fall stuck in my head for all of these months. Throughout all of the junk in my life during this time, it was the image of that tree that was running through my head constantly, and now I see why.
The tree began to change colors again just a day or so ago, and I am beginning to see the bright colors of Autumn once again, and I can not believe all that has happened in these twelve months. I think this is God's way of showing me that it was truly Him who got me through those trials, even when I thought I was alone, He never left me. Now I look at myself, and I'm a different person because of it, and a much better trust in God. If only I had stopped pushing against our Creator in my time of trouble, and trusted that time would move on and that He would bring me through it, I would have had a much happier year. Every Autumn when this tree begins to change, I will watch it, and take a few moments to praise our wonderful God.
I wasn't stuck in that time of troubles, and neither are you. I know it's difficult to look past the here and now when you're in those moments, believe me, I know, but God has your back in everything. Remember, time moves on, and with time, God brings healing. Let the fiery trees that will soon be surrounding us remind you that God's love for us burns brightly and fiercely, and that He will never let us go.
I had my computer staying on the dining room table during this era in my life, and I would do my homework, and work on National Novel Writing Month outlines and whatnot each afternoon in this room with this big window facing this big beautiful colored tree. I watched as it went up in flames in the oranges and reds of Fall, then as the leaves fell one by one to the ground, Winter approaching slowly. Then, as if to prove that there was still life under those mounds of snow, I watched this tree slowly bud into small flowers that quickly turned to healthy green leaves, the image of the reds and oranges from Fall stuck in my head for all of these months. Throughout all of the junk in my life during this time, it was the image of that tree that was running through my head constantly, and now I see why.
The tree began to change colors again just a day or so ago, and I am beginning to see the bright colors of Autumn once again, and I can not believe all that has happened in these twelve months. I think this is God's way of showing me that it was truly Him who got me through those trials, even when I thought I was alone, He never left me. Now I look at myself, and I'm a different person because of it, and a much better trust in God. If only I had stopped pushing against our Creator in my time of trouble, and trusted that time would move on and that He would bring me through it, I would have had a much happier year. Every Autumn when this tree begins to change, I will watch it, and take a few moments to praise our wonderful God.
I wasn't stuck in that time of troubles, and neither are you. I know it's difficult to look past the here and now when you're in those moments, believe me, I know, but God has your back in everything. Remember, time moves on, and with time, God brings healing. Let the fiery trees that will soon be surrounding us remind you that God's love for us burns brightly and fiercely, and that He will never let us go.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Three Simple Truths
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.1 Corinthians 13:4-8
I just opened my Bible to find a small slip of paper, torn out of a devotion book on a mission trip, that has three simple, yet so true and powerful, phrases about God, and love.
God is love. Love wins. Love lasts.
First, God is love. God is love. There isn't much I can say to explain that. He loves us so, so much with this extreme, beautiful and pure love, that only God has. He sent His one and only son to earth to die for us. There is no greater love. God is love.
Second, love wins. Love always wins, no matter what. And God is love, so God always wins. The love of God will triumph over all evil, love is always coming out on top. You can't go wrong with love. Love your neighbor, love your friends, love your enemies, love everyone, and what harm can you do? Exactly. In times when you're doubting whether or not God's love is big enough to overcome what is going on in your life, remember, love wins, always.
And finally, Love lasts. Love is never-ending. Nothing can stop real love, especially God's love. God's love will never leave us, it will never fade, and He will never just quit loving us. We need not worry about losing love, pure love does not go away. God and His love will see us through all of our days. Love lasts forever.
Three simple phrases with the truth and beauty of a million worlds. God is love. Love wins. Love lasts.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Our Amazing God: The Screenplays of Our Lives
This isn't how you planned it, is it? Because this surely isn't how I planned it.
That screenplay that I wrote just isn't turning out how it was supposed to. Yeah, that test grade was supposed to be an A. And my alarm should have woken me up on time. Oh, don't forget that my social life should be perfect, my friends shouldn't stir up drama, and I shouldn't have to be choosing between the lesser of two evils. My life wasn't supposed to be this complicated!
Don't we all find ourselves screaming at God sometimes, whether it be in confusion, or anger, or whatever, about how our lives should have been different. That they should have turned out exactly as we wanted, not this confusing thing filled with rights and wrongs and futures and pasts? School, work, church, everything should be a breeze, right? Everything should be as it is in the script of our minds.
Well, as I'm learning, that just isn't how the Lord works. God always has something bigger in mind than what we can even imagine. He is always answering our prayers, just maybe not in the way we thought He would. Maybe it is a "yes", maybe it's a "not yet", or maybe it's an "I have something better planned". The question is, are we willing to accept how God answers us?
If we don't accept anything but a "yes" to our prayers, of course it's going to seem like God hasn't heard our prayers. I know that I have this picture perfect movie life planned for myself, and as much as I yearn for my life to turn out like this, I can almost guarantee that I will not have the life that plays in my head. God is going to throw things in my path that I'm not expecting, and if I'm willing, He's going to use each and everything that He places in my life for a purpose. That goes for each and every person placed in this beautiful world.
God's plan for our lives isn't the same plan that we have for our own lives, but His is most definitely the best plan to follow.
That screenplay that I wrote just isn't turning out how it was supposed to. Yeah, that test grade was supposed to be an A. And my alarm should have woken me up on time. Oh, don't forget that my social life should be perfect, my friends shouldn't stir up drama, and I shouldn't have to be choosing between the lesser of two evils. My life wasn't supposed to be this complicated!
Don't we all find ourselves screaming at God sometimes, whether it be in confusion, or anger, or whatever, about how our lives should have been different. That they should have turned out exactly as we wanted, not this confusing thing filled with rights and wrongs and futures and pasts? School, work, church, everything should be a breeze, right? Everything should be as it is in the script of our minds.
Well, as I'm learning, that just isn't how the Lord works. God always has something bigger in mind than what we can even imagine. He is always answering our prayers, just maybe not in the way we thought He would. Maybe it is a "yes", maybe it's a "not yet", or maybe it's an "I have something better planned". The question is, are we willing to accept how God answers us?
If we don't accept anything but a "yes" to our prayers, of course it's going to seem like God hasn't heard our prayers. I know that I have this picture perfect movie life planned for myself, and as much as I yearn for my life to turn out like this, I can almost guarantee that I will not have the life that plays in my head. God is going to throw things in my path that I'm not expecting, and if I'm willing, He's going to use each and everything that He places in my life for a purpose. That goes for each and every person placed in this beautiful world.
God's plan for our lives isn't the same plan that we have for our own lives, but His is most definitely the best plan to follow.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Who are you?
Who am I? Who am I in this big world that so many billions of us humans call home?
Well, I am Abby. I am a brown haired, brown eyed girl, with friends and family who have a never-ending flow of love and support. I am a writer and a dreamer, a believer and an optimist. I am a usually happy person, and I'm a bit stubborn. I don't wear matching socks, and I don't have very much patience. I am Abby, and that's good enough for me.
There is a quote that my homeroom teacher has hanging in her classroom, from Bill Cosby, "The key to failure is trying to please everyone." Be who you are, and embrace it. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough, or that you shouldn't be the way you are, because, and believe me, I know this is said a lot, but it's because it's true, if someone doesn't like you, it's their loss. There are multiple billions of people on the Earth, and how many of them are exactly like you? What's that? That's right. Absolutely nobody else can replace you in the world. So don't let anyone change you, because in the end it's hurting everyone who you come into contact with, because those people are missing the amazing beautiful person that you are.
So, I ask, who are you? Do you know exactly what your answer is? Or do you still have a lot to discover? Either of those, and anywhere in between, is absolutely perfectly okay, so long as it's yourself that you are and/or are discovering. The world wants to see the beautiful person who you are, not a fake mask that society has taught you to wear, so throw the mask off, and declare to all of the Earth who you are.
Well, I am Abby. I am a brown haired, brown eyed girl, with friends and family who have a never-ending flow of love and support. I am a writer and a dreamer, a believer and an optimist. I am a usually happy person, and I'm a bit stubborn. I don't wear matching socks, and I don't have very much patience. I am Abby, and that's good enough for me.
There is a quote that my homeroom teacher has hanging in her classroom, from Bill Cosby, "The key to failure is trying to please everyone." Be who you are, and embrace it. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough, or that you shouldn't be the way you are, because, and believe me, I know this is said a lot, but it's because it's true, if someone doesn't like you, it's their loss. There are multiple billions of people on the Earth, and how many of them are exactly like you? What's that? That's right. Absolutely nobody else can replace you in the world. So don't let anyone change you, because in the end it's hurting everyone who you come into contact with, because those people are missing the amazing beautiful person that you are.
So, I ask, who are you? Do you know exactly what your answer is? Or do you still have a lot to discover? Either of those, and anywhere in between, is absolutely perfectly okay, so long as it's yourself that you are and/or are discovering. The world wants to see the beautiful person who you are, not a fake mask that society has taught you to wear, so throw the mask off, and declare to all of the Earth who you are.
Monday, September 12, 2011
The Batmans and Robins of Today
I'm a day late, but I need to do a tribute to the heroes of yesterday ten years ago. September eleventh, two thousand and one. The day that caused our country to stand still.
The whole nation sat stunned, watching the towers collapse, and then, as if that wasn't enough, there was another crash at the Pentagon, and another one crash-landing only fifteen minutes from our country's capitol, and only miles from a school full of students and teachers. No one was expecting this, and everyone was frozen in place where they watched the events unfold. Well, everyone except for the heroes who immediately jumped into action and risked their own lives to save so many others. Nothing like this had ever happened before in our country's past, but these men and women didn't miss a beat, and many of them didn't even make it out alive to hear our meager thank yous.
We read comic books, and watch movies, about super heroes like Batman and Robin, but those aren't the true heroes in our world today. The Batmans and Robins of the world today don't wear capes, they are those people who, at a moments notice, drop what they are doing, and run to save the lives of people who they may have never even met.
The whole nation sat stunned, watching the towers collapse, and then, as if that wasn't enough, there was another crash at the Pentagon, and another one crash-landing only fifteen minutes from our country's capitol, and only miles from a school full of students and teachers. No one was expecting this, and everyone was frozen in place where they watched the events unfold. Well, everyone except for the heroes who immediately jumped into action and risked their own lives to save so many others. Nothing like this had ever happened before in our country's past, but these men and women didn't miss a beat, and many of them didn't even make it out alive to hear our meager thank yous.
We read comic books, and watch movies, about super heroes like Batman and Robin, but those aren't the true heroes in our world today. The Batmans and Robins of the world today don't wear capes, they are those people who, at a moments notice, drop what they are doing, and run to save the lives of people who they may have never even met.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
All of Creation
Almost three years ago now, a video was shared during youth group, and I've been looking for it ever since. Yes, there are other's done like this one, but I found that this one touches me the most. I've finally found it, and it has brought tears to my eyes once again.
There are so many thoughts going through my head after watching, and it's so difficult to fathom. God loves us. Plain and simple, yet, at times it's the most confusing thing. How could God love someone who's sinned so much? Who's turned away from him time and time again? Who is so broken and beaten down? God loves us. No matter what. And, in addition to that, He's always fighting for us. God is going to be there to pull us out of those deep and fiery pits of life whenever we are willing to accept His grace and love.
Towards the end of the video, you see the actor who's playing God trying to pull the girl towards him, but no matter how hard she tries, she just can't get through those people. Finally, God goes in and fights each of the evils off of her, and holds the girl up, protecting her from evil. God wants to do that and be there for each of us too. He's longing, yearning, for us to want him, to turn to him, and accept his love and care.
The sign outside of my church reads "If God feels distant, stop running". This video and that quote go perfectly together. God is chasing after us, and He wants us to stop and turn around, and let Him hold us in His hands. The only thing that's stopping Him is us. We need to make that decision to let him into our heart, and to give Him our troubles.
It doesn't matter who you've been, or what you've done. The only thing that matters is who God is, and what He's done. Jesus Christ died on the cross, for us, and that is exactly what true love is.
There are so many thoughts going through my head after watching, and it's so difficult to fathom. God loves us. Plain and simple, yet, at times it's the most confusing thing. How could God love someone who's sinned so much? Who's turned away from him time and time again? Who is so broken and beaten down? God loves us. No matter what. And, in addition to that, He's always fighting for us. God is going to be there to pull us out of those deep and fiery pits of life whenever we are willing to accept His grace and love.
Towards the end of the video, you see the actor who's playing God trying to pull the girl towards him, but no matter how hard she tries, she just can't get through those people. Finally, God goes in and fights each of the evils off of her, and holds the girl up, protecting her from evil. God wants to do that and be there for each of us too. He's longing, yearning, for us to want him, to turn to him, and accept his love and care.
The sign outside of my church reads "If God feels distant, stop running". This video and that quote go perfectly together. God is chasing after us, and He wants us to stop and turn around, and let Him hold us in His hands. The only thing that's stopping Him is us. We need to make that decision to let him into our heart, and to give Him our troubles.
It doesn't matter who you've been, or what you've done. The only thing that matters is who God is, and what He's done. Jesus Christ died on the cross, for us, and that is exactly what true love is.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Confessions of a Momentary Insomniac
For the past few nights, I just haven't been able to sleep. I've been up until at least 12:30 every morning, and usually later into one or two o'clock. I've tossed, I've turned, but not once did I finally sit up, and give in to the fact that I wasn't going to be able to sleep anytime soon, until tonight.
It's been a couple of weeks since I've taken time to talk to God, and I honestly can't tell you why. It isn't like I've been too busy. But for the past couple of days I've been feeling that need to pray, but every time I would start to, I would get distracted and forget what I was doing. There was something that God needed to get through my head, and I just wouldn't listen.
So earlier tonight, as I tossed and turned, I finally just gave up. I sat up in my bed, and had that urge to pray again, and this time, I did. I told God all about what's been happening in my life lately (not much), and all about how I've been feeling. I told him everything. And I heard something in reply.
For months now, I've been bottling up hatred and anger, I've been holding a grudge that became the only thing I could see. This evening I was at a friend's house, and we were talking about the person who I've been holding a multi-month-long grudge against, and I can't really tell you that we were saying pleasant things. It seemed as though everyone was joining in, but then one of our friends had the courage to stand up and say that this wasn't okay with him, that it wasn't right to be talking about this person that way. And I felt a little badly, but mostly I felt like I had been slapped across the face. That person had hurt me a lot, and now my friend was standing up for him? My anger flared for a few moments, and simmered back down rather quickly, but I hadn't felt much remorse until I spoke to God.
God showed me that forgiveness truly is key. My friend who told us all that it was time to stop was right, and he knew what he was talking about. That probably took a lot of courage, and I know that God was working through him right there. As God opened my eyes to all of this late tonight, it was like I was looking into a mirror, and I know that I did not like what I saw. I was filled to the brim with anger and pain, and I allowed it to cover everything else up. Tears welled up in my eyes as I picked up my cell phone to text my friend who had stood up, to thank him for being God's hands and feet in showing me, well, a lot of things.
As I write this tonight, or rather, this morning, I'm reminded of two of my previous posts, "Stress Fractures" and "Forgiving and Forgetting". I let my little stress fractures build and build, piling one upon another, some were larger than others, until that's the only thing that was there. I thought that this no longer bothered me, but I can see now that I was wrong. All I had done before to help myself was bury it in the sand.
And I also thought that I had forgiven the person we had been talking about. But God asked my if I had forgotten. And I could not say yes. I've withheld true forgiveness for almost ten months now, and it has done me no good. Maybe I needed that time to reflect, to think, but I don't know if I've used it as well as I should have. I guess I still have a lot of forgiving to do this summer, and you know what? I don't mind doing it anymore.
I know that there have been several points to this one post, but I have just one more to share tonight. God's grace amazes me continuously. He's been sending me little messages for days, maybe even weeks, that I've been ignoring, but He never gave up. Tonight He worked through my friend to give me a wake up call, and I know that He works in all different ways, sometimes very mysterious ways. So thank you, Lord, for working all hours, even at 1:30 in the morning, and for never, ever giving up.
It's been a couple of weeks since I've taken time to talk to God, and I honestly can't tell you why. It isn't like I've been too busy. But for the past couple of days I've been feeling that need to pray, but every time I would start to, I would get distracted and forget what I was doing. There was something that God needed to get through my head, and I just wouldn't listen.
So earlier tonight, as I tossed and turned, I finally just gave up. I sat up in my bed, and had that urge to pray again, and this time, I did. I told God all about what's been happening in my life lately (not much), and all about how I've been feeling. I told him everything. And I heard something in reply.
For months now, I've been bottling up hatred and anger, I've been holding a grudge that became the only thing I could see. This evening I was at a friend's house, and we were talking about the person who I've been holding a multi-month-long grudge against, and I can't really tell you that we were saying pleasant things. It seemed as though everyone was joining in, but then one of our friends had the courage to stand up and say that this wasn't okay with him, that it wasn't right to be talking about this person that way. And I felt a little badly, but mostly I felt like I had been slapped across the face. That person had hurt me a lot, and now my friend was standing up for him? My anger flared for a few moments, and simmered back down rather quickly, but I hadn't felt much remorse until I spoke to God.
God showed me that forgiveness truly is key. My friend who told us all that it was time to stop was right, and he knew what he was talking about. That probably took a lot of courage, and I know that God was working through him right there. As God opened my eyes to all of this late tonight, it was like I was looking into a mirror, and I know that I did not like what I saw. I was filled to the brim with anger and pain, and I allowed it to cover everything else up. Tears welled up in my eyes as I picked up my cell phone to text my friend who had stood up, to thank him for being God's hands and feet in showing me, well, a lot of things.
As I write this tonight, or rather, this morning, I'm reminded of two of my previous posts, "Stress Fractures" and "Forgiving and Forgetting". I let my little stress fractures build and build, piling one upon another, some were larger than others, until that's the only thing that was there. I thought that this no longer bothered me, but I can see now that I was wrong. All I had done before to help myself was bury it in the sand.
And I also thought that I had forgiven the person we had been talking about. But God asked my if I had forgotten. And I could not say yes. I've withheld true forgiveness for almost ten months now, and it has done me no good. Maybe I needed that time to reflect, to think, but I don't know if I've used it as well as I should have. I guess I still have a lot of forgiving to do this summer, and you know what? I don't mind doing it anymore.
I know that there have been several points to this one post, but I have just one more to share tonight. God's grace amazes me continuously. He's been sending me little messages for days, maybe even weeks, that I've been ignoring, but He never gave up. Tonight He worked through my friend to give me a wake up call, and I know that He works in all different ways, sometimes very mysterious ways. So thank you, Lord, for working all hours, even at 1:30 in the morning, and for never, ever giving up.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Beauty 101: The Last Chapter
I don't have one specific thing to focus on today, or maybe I do. I suppose I'll find out as I write.
The Last Chapter
One big thing with beauty that I really want people to know, is that beauty is between you and God. God created you as this beautiful, amazing being, and He wants you to know that, to see what He sees, more than anything. There are a lot of people in this world who will try to tell us that we aren't beautiful, that we aren't anything special. But those people are lying. They are lying straight to our faces. And sometimes we're the ones lying to ourselves. How many times have you looked in the mirror and seen nothing but, well, what we like to describe as "ugly"? It's a lie. God doesn't see a single ounce of "ugly" in that beautiful face of yours, and if God, who sees everything about us and everything that we do, sees beauty in us, then it is most definitely true.
I guess some people may have expected a long list of directions on how to become beautiful when they first read the title to this series, but I don't have many directions. Other than what I've already said previously, I really only have one more tip. Let God's love shine through you. God's love is the only pure beauty that has and ever will existed, and therefore, the best, if not only, way to be truly beautiful. He loves us so, so much, and we need to show that to the world, that God sent is one and only begotten Son to the cross do die, in our place, so that one day, we will have eternal life with Him. If we let God's love and light shine through us into the world, people will most definitely see beauty. And the best part about that, is that this beauty doesn't come from ourselves, it comes from God, and therefore, we will always have it.
The Last Chapter
One big thing with beauty that I really want people to know, is that beauty is between you and God. God created you as this beautiful, amazing being, and He wants you to know that, to see what He sees, more than anything. There are a lot of people in this world who will try to tell us that we aren't beautiful, that we aren't anything special. But those people are lying. They are lying straight to our faces. And sometimes we're the ones lying to ourselves. How many times have you looked in the mirror and seen nothing but, well, what we like to describe as "ugly"? It's a lie. God doesn't see a single ounce of "ugly" in that beautiful face of yours, and if God, who sees everything about us and everything that we do, sees beauty in us, then it is most definitely true.
I guess some people may have expected a long list of directions on how to become beautiful when they first read the title to this series, but I don't have many directions. Other than what I've already said previously, I really only have one more tip. Let God's love shine through you. God's love is the only pure beauty that has and ever will existed, and therefore, the best, if not only, way to be truly beautiful. He loves us so, so much, and we need to show that to the world, that God sent is one and only begotten Son to the cross do die, in our place, so that one day, we will have eternal life with Him. If we let God's love and light shine through us into the world, people will most definitely see beauty. And the best part about that, is that this beauty doesn't come from ourselves, it comes from God, and therefore, we will always have it.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Beauty 101: Gray Hair and Wrinkles
So I didn't get right on writing that series on Beauty, but here's another one! :)
Gray Hair and Wrinkles
Not so long ago I overheard a girl about my age telling her friends that she would rather die young then get old and wrinkly. I stopped dead in my tracks and just stared for a few moments. How could someone rather their life be cut short than being old and wise? It doesn't make sense to me.
We have this viewpoint of it being a bad thing to get old. We're all trying to prevent wrinkles and gray hair from ages as young as fifteen years old, and once we reach a certain age, our birthdays are no longer something we look forward to, but rather, a day that we dread. But why? What's wrong with having experienced life?
I guess that this entry isn't necessarily only geared to girls my age, but women of all ages. Age is something to be proud of. No, I'm not wishing my life away, but I am excited to live those years. Those years where I've lived enough life to be considered wise, and where people are looking up towards me for advice. I want to be middle aged some day, and I want to be a grandmother. Wrinkles aren't a feature that we should spend hundreds to thousands of dollars trying to make disappear, gray hairs aren't things that we should spend hours a year dyeing.
Love the stage of life you're in. Love it. Whether you are a child, a pre-teen, a teenager, a young adult, an adult, middle aged, or a senior, love life! Yeah, of course every stage of life has it's difficulties, but each one comes with even more benefits. And guess what, you're beautiful in every single stage. The second part of the verses that we looked at in my last post, 1 Peter chapter 3 verse 4 says "Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." The key part of that verse that I want to look at is where it says "the unfading beauty". That means that when you're looking at true beauty, it doesn't go away with age, it doesn't run and hide when wrinkles reveal themselves.
Beauty doesn't leave, and it doesn't hide. When you think about it, it's actually kind of silly to think that as you get older you lose your beauty, if anything, you only get more beautiful as you learn to understand the ways of the world. No matter how old you are, go out today, and embrace your beautiful self, and don't let anyone, not your best friend, your spouse, your worst enemy, your sibling, and especially not society, tell you that you aren't beautiful.
Gray Hair and Wrinkles
Not so long ago I overheard a girl about my age telling her friends that she would rather die young then get old and wrinkly. I stopped dead in my tracks and just stared for a few moments. How could someone rather their life be cut short than being old and wise? It doesn't make sense to me.
We have this viewpoint of it being a bad thing to get old. We're all trying to prevent wrinkles and gray hair from ages as young as fifteen years old, and once we reach a certain age, our birthdays are no longer something we look forward to, but rather, a day that we dread. But why? What's wrong with having experienced life?
I guess that this entry isn't necessarily only geared to girls my age, but women of all ages. Age is something to be proud of. No, I'm not wishing my life away, but I am excited to live those years. Those years where I've lived enough life to be considered wise, and where people are looking up towards me for advice. I want to be middle aged some day, and I want to be a grandmother. Wrinkles aren't a feature that we should spend hundreds to thousands of dollars trying to make disappear, gray hairs aren't things that we should spend hours a year dyeing.
Love the stage of life you're in. Love it. Whether you are a child, a pre-teen, a teenager, a young adult, an adult, middle aged, or a senior, love life! Yeah, of course every stage of life has it's difficulties, but each one comes with even more benefits. And guess what, you're beautiful in every single stage. The second part of the verses that we looked at in my last post, 1 Peter chapter 3 verse 4 says "Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." The key part of that verse that I want to look at is where it says "the unfading beauty". That means that when you're looking at true beauty, it doesn't go away with age, it doesn't run and hide when wrinkles reveal themselves.
Beauty doesn't leave, and it doesn't hide. When you think about it, it's actually kind of silly to think that as you get older you lose your beauty, if anything, you only get more beautiful as you learn to understand the ways of the world. No matter how old you are, go out today, and embrace your beautiful self, and don't let anyone, not your best friend, your spouse, your worst enemy, your sibling, and especially not society, tell you that you aren't beautiful.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Beauty 101: It's True
I know that I have many opinions on many different things, who doesn’t? But I’m tired of people thinking bad things about themselves, girls in particular (simply because I am a girl and know the struggles, not because y’all with the Y chromosome aren’t awesome!). So it’s time that my thoughts on beauty pour outward. In the next few days or so, I’ll be writing a series of posts on beauty that will hopefully help each of you, even those of my male readers.
It's True.
A friend once told me that her boyfriend had called her beautiful. She said that it was a major confidence booster, even though it wasn't true. I looked at her and kind of cocked my head questioningly, saying of course it was true. We went back and forth for a few moments, and then I firmly said "All people are beautiful." And that is so unbelievably true, even though we don't always see it. No matter how many times we fight against compliments, no matter how many times we look in the mirror and think that there is no possible way that the mess we see could be beautiful, none of that is right. What is right is that all people are beautiful. You are beautiful.
Today's society tells us that in order to be beautiful we need to wear layers upon layers of makeup to hide blemishes, we need to wear a dress size zero, and if we don't, we need to squeeze into one anyway. According to society we need to have small feet and long fingers, and silky long hair. But that's not where actual beauty comes from. Actual beauty comes from the inside, not the outside. 1 Peter chapter 3 verses 3 and 4 say "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."
God loves each and everyone of us, and we are each amazingly beautiful in His eyes. But God doesn't see what we as humans see. While we're looking at the outward appearance, God sees the inside. He sees our thoughts, and our motivations. And He absolutely loves us. Guess what, God created each of us in His own image, so of course we're beautiful.
Please believe people when they tell you that you are beautiful, because it's true! And also, today, I challenge you to work towards looking at the inward beauty of yourself and others, as opposed to the outward appearance. Try to see what our Heavenly Father see. He rejoices over us!
It's True.
A friend once told me that her boyfriend had called her beautiful. She said that it was a major confidence booster, even though it wasn't true. I looked at her and kind of cocked my head questioningly, saying of course it was true. We went back and forth for a few moments, and then I firmly said "All people are beautiful." And that is so unbelievably true, even though we don't always see it. No matter how many times we fight against compliments, no matter how many times we look in the mirror and think that there is no possible way that the mess we see could be beautiful, none of that is right. What is right is that all people are beautiful. You are beautiful.
Today's society tells us that in order to be beautiful we need to wear layers upon layers of makeup to hide blemishes, we need to wear a dress size zero, and if we don't, we need to squeeze into one anyway. According to society we need to have small feet and long fingers, and silky long hair. But that's not where actual beauty comes from. Actual beauty comes from the inside, not the outside. 1 Peter chapter 3 verses 3 and 4 say "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."
God loves each and everyone of us, and we are each amazingly beautiful in His eyes. But God doesn't see what we as humans see. While we're looking at the outward appearance, God sees the inside. He sees our thoughts, and our motivations. And He absolutely loves us. Guess what, God created each of us in His own image, so of course we're beautiful.
Please believe people when they tell you that you are beautiful, because it's true! And also, today, I challenge you to work towards looking at the inward beauty of yourself and others, as opposed to the outward appearance. Try to see what our Heavenly Father see. He rejoices over us!
Friday, July 8, 2011
No Matter What...
...Trust in God
You know, I have a lot of friends who look down on me sometimes because of mistakes I've made. Or because of how I look at situations. I am extremely optimistic, that's just how I am. I look to the future and I think big, I dream, I hope. And yes, lot's of times I get let down. But there are many more times when I achieve so much more than I ever could if I wasn't dreaming. It's in those times, when I know that something is a long shot, that I really learn to trust God. I ask Him to help me, to lead me, and to guide me. I know that this world that God has made is beautiful, full of awesome opportunities, and I know that He has a plan for each of us. If I'm always pessimistic, always looking on the bad side of things, how am I ever going to try something new, or see a new opportunity that God has for me?
I can make stupid mistakes sometimes. We all can. Mistakes that we look back on and we laugh at our stupidity. Mistakes that are made in a situation that we probably should've already known what to do in. For example, as a teenager I have adults all around me trying to help me with perspective on situations and the world. A lot of advice that my peers and I have been given lately revolves around dating relationships. We are told that while dating can be fun at our age, the likelihood of these relationships ending in marriage is very low, and that it is silly to think we are in love with a person after knowing them for only days. But sometimes we just need to test that out. We dream big, and sometimes we fall flat on our faces. God, though, is always there to lift us up, telling us to try again, or to try differently.
Think about it. When we are pessimistic all the time, or we let what we are being taught (even if we trust the people teaching us) hold us back, we can't achieve what God wants for us. So sometimes we fail, sometimes we mess up, sometimes we get hurt. And maybe that was in God's plan, and maybe it wasn't. But God always uses everything in our lives for the better, even if we can't see it. We learn lessons that we wouldn't have learned otherwise. Or maybe the bad thing that has happened actually stopped something worse from happening. We may never know. We need to trust that God loves us, though, and that He wants the best for us.
Everyone holds themselves back from things. Everyone. We've all had those little inward battles with ourselves, those fights that happen inside our minds. For instance, there's another student walking down the hall who drops his books.
See? You know what I'm talking about. And very often when we have those little fights in our mind, we end up doing the wrong thing. We hold ourselves back from doing God's work in the world. So I guess that my advice to you, and to myself, today is to not hold yourself back. Dream big, pray, and trust in God. When you hear God telling you to do something, take that leap of faith, and do it, no matter what the consequences could be. Let the love of God shine through you.
You know, I have a lot of friends who look down on me sometimes because of mistakes I've made. Or because of how I look at situations. I am extremely optimistic, that's just how I am. I look to the future and I think big, I dream, I hope. And yes, lot's of times I get let down. But there are many more times when I achieve so much more than I ever could if I wasn't dreaming. It's in those times, when I know that something is a long shot, that I really learn to trust God. I ask Him to help me, to lead me, and to guide me. I know that this world that God has made is beautiful, full of awesome opportunities, and I know that He has a plan for each of us. If I'm always pessimistic, always looking on the bad side of things, how am I ever going to try something new, or see a new opportunity that God has for me?
I can make stupid mistakes sometimes. We all can. Mistakes that we look back on and we laugh at our stupidity. Mistakes that are made in a situation that we probably should've already known what to do in. For example, as a teenager I have adults all around me trying to help me with perspective on situations and the world. A lot of advice that my peers and I have been given lately revolves around dating relationships. We are told that while dating can be fun at our age, the likelihood of these relationships ending in marriage is very low, and that it is silly to think we are in love with a person after knowing them for only days. But sometimes we just need to test that out. We dream big, and sometimes we fall flat on our faces. God, though, is always there to lift us up, telling us to try again, or to try differently.
Think about it. When we are pessimistic all the time, or we let what we are being taught (even if we trust the people teaching us) hold us back, we can't achieve what God wants for us. So sometimes we fail, sometimes we mess up, sometimes we get hurt. And maybe that was in God's plan, and maybe it wasn't. But God always uses everything in our lives for the better, even if we can't see it. We learn lessons that we wouldn't have learned otherwise. Or maybe the bad thing that has happened actually stopped something worse from happening. We may never know. We need to trust that God loves us, though, and that He wants the best for us.
Everyone holds themselves back from things. Everyone. We've all had those little inward battles with ourselves, those fights that happen inside our minds. For instance, there's another student walking down the hall who drops his books.
I know that I should go and help him, I know it, but if I do, I might be late for class. Or maybe he doesn't want my help. What if someone makes fun of me? But then again, what if he just needs someone to be there for him? What if he thinks nobody cares? Plus it's what Jesus would do.
See? You know what I'm talking about. And very often when we have those little fights in our mind, we end up doing the wrong thing. We hold ourselves back from doing God's work in the world. So I guess that my advice to you, and to myself, today is to not hold yourself back. Dream big, pray, and trust in God. When you hear God telling you to do something, take that leap of faith, and do it, no matter what the consequences could be. Let the love of God shine through you.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Forgiving AND Forgetting
I sat down to write this post yesterday. I had a very, very long post written out, but as I got to the end I began to truly think about what I was writing about, and I realized that, well, I didn't like the advice I was giving. Don't get me wrong, I totally and fully believe that this is good advice, but it wasn't advice that I was following until now.
As much as I love that entire song, it's the quoted lyrics above that truly speak to me. That's what I've always struggled with. I never thought that I had an issue with forgiveness, but as I was writing the post, I realized that I was squirming as I tried to draw the line between just forgiving and forgiving and forgetting. I've always said that I have no issue forgiving, that I do it for my benefit. But I'm also a huge grudge holder. Therefore I've believed that I forgive people, but I don't forget what they did. Is that really ever true forgiveness though?
I mean, yeah, you can never truly forget what happened if it was a super big deal, but what I'm saying is that you need to be able to look past it. Which was where my forgiveness usually stopped. I don't really even know how I was able to say that I had forgiven a person when whenever I thought about them, or what they had done, anger would boil up in my mind. That, my darlings, isn't forgiveness. That is, in fact, lying to yourself.
As I wrote the post yesterday about how it was okay to just forgive, and not forget, sometimes, I tried to think about what forgiveness was then. Because it surely wasn't what I had been doing. My stomach squirmed as I tried to justify myself, tried to tell myself that it was okay. And I just couldn't do it. I wasn't looking past what had happened, and I truly couldn't forgive until I had.
But forgiveness was just too scary. What if my forgiveness was taken and snapped into two pieces? What if it totally backfired? What if what if what if? Right now, after taking that chance we call forgiveness, I'm laughing at myself. Forgiveness is worth that chance, because even if it does backfire, does it actually cause anymore harm?
I encourage you to take that leap of forgiveness today. Even if the person doesn't want it, forgiving other people will make you feel a whole lot better, because holding onto that anger takes so much energy.
"I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one."
Today I'm gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longerGonna learn to forgive and forget
'Cause we don't have long, gonna make the most of it
As much as I love that entire song, it's the quoted lyrics above that truly speak to me. That's what I've always struggled with. I never thought that I had an issue with forgiveness, but as I was writing the post, I realized that I was squirming as I tried to draw the line between just forgiving and forgiving and forgetting. I've always said that I have no issue forgiving, that I do it for my benefit. But I'm also a huge grudge holder. Therefore I've believed that I forgive people, but I don't forget what they did. Is that really ever true forgiveness though?
I mean, yeah, you can never truly forget what happened if it was a super big deal, but what I'm saying is that you need to be able to look past it. Which was where my forgiveness usually stopped. I don't really even know how I was able to say that I had forgiven a person when whenever I thought about them, or what they had done, anger would boil up in my mind. That, my darlings, isn't forgiveness. That is, in fact, lying to yourself.
As I wrote the post yesterday about how it was okay to just forgive, and not forget, sometimes, I tried to think about what forgiveness was then. Because it surely wasn't what I had been doing. My stomach squirmed as I tried to justify myself, tried to tell myself that it was okay. And I just couldn't do it. I wasn't looking past what had happened, and I truly couldn't forgive until I had.
But forgiveness was just too scary. What if my forgiveness was taken and snapped into two pieces? What if it totally backfired? What if what if what if? Right now, after taking that chance we call forgiveness, I'm laughing at myself. Forgiveness is worth that chance, because even if it does backfire, does it actually cause anymore harm?
I encourage you to take that leap of forgiveness today. Even if the person doesn't want it, forgiving other people will make you feel a whole lot better, because holding onto that anger takes so much energy.
"I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one."
~Henry Ward Beecher
Monday, July 4, 2011
Stress Fractures
So I'm reading one of the things that one of my friends wrote on facebook. There was a question "Have you ever had your heart broken?" her answer was "cracked, but not broken" and that made me think a lot. How many of us are walking around with cracks in our hearts?
We haven't been completely broken, we haven't been kicked and left behind in the dirt, but we've been hurt. A friend has turned out to be someone we didn't know, a short-term relationship has ended, the truth of a lie surfaces, life moves on, right? Of course it does. But that doesn't mean that we're okay.
I find that a lot of times, it's even more difficult to get over small aches like that. Things that hurt, but that don't completely cause an earthquake in your life, because we don't take the time that we need to heal. We aren't focused on it for a very long time, so months, or even years, later it resurfaces, and we realize that it is still causing us pain. This little, minor detail in our lives can bring us to our knees, weeping, so long afterwards. Okay, so maybe I'm being a little dramatic, even a lot dramatic, but you get my point.
Perhaps you are like me, when something bad happens, something that hurts just enough to affect your life, but not enough to bring you to a stand still, you start working on auto-pilot, speed up, and don't stop for long enough to reflect and heal. Or maybe you are walking around in this life full of small little aches and pains from small bad experiences, added together making you feel miserable. Maybe you are totally different. But no matter what, you haven't taken the time to make yourself feel better.
When these pains resurface months later, we try to push it away again, convincing ourselves that we should have been over this long ago, that we can't possibly still be being affected by it now. But guess what, if you've never dealt with a certain experience, it's not leaving your side until you have, and it's only going to grow into a bigger pain.
These little experiences are like getting a stress fracture in your foot from running too much. If you take the time to allow it to heal, you'll be back up and running in no time at all. But if you don't stop to let your body heal itself, and you keep running, that stress fracture is going to get bigger and bigger, and soon enough it's going to be a full blown broken bone. Your foot is going to hurt a lot more than with just a small stress fracture, and it's going to take a much longer time to heal. Plus, there's no ignoring it this time.
So I have two pieces of advice for you, and for myself. The first one is to those of us who have been bottling our pains up for too long, and now we must deal with a lot more hurt than we thought. Always remember Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit". Give your troubles to God. He loves you, and He wants to always be there for you. And guess what. It is okay to hurt, even after all of this time. There isn't a time limit to brokenheartedness or crushed spirits. So let it all go, and give it all to God.
And the second advice is to those of us who are in the middle of a little ache right now. Deal with it now. Ask God to help you heal right now, don't hold it all in for months and months, only for it to resurface even worse. Even if it doesn't necessarily seem major, God doesn't care. Like I said in my earlier post, He loves you, and He wants to always be there for you. A crisis is a crisis if it's a crisis to you. Don't feel like what you're going through is too small to hurt over. Hurt and heal now, before it gets even worse.
Everyone who is walking around with a cracked heart, take the time to let it heal and let God help you. Don't let your heart break into a million pieces before you turn to God.
We haven't been completely broken, we haven't been kicked and left behind in the dirt, but we've been hurt. A friend has turned out to be someone we didn't know, a short-term relationship has ended, the truth of a lie surfaces, life moves on, right? Of course it does. But that doesn't mean that we're okay.
I find that a lot of times, it's even more difficult to get over small aches like that. Things that hurt, but that don't completely cause an earthquake in your life, because we don't take the time that we need to heal. We aren't focused on it for a very long time, so months, or even years, later it resurfaces, and we realize that it is still causing us pain. This little, minor detail in our lives can bring us to our knees, weeping, so long afterwards. Okay, so maybe I'm being a little dramatic, even a lot dramatic, but you get my point.
Perhaps you are like me, when something bad happens, something that hurts just enough to affect your life, but not enough to bring you to a stand still, you start working on auto-pilot, speed up, and don't stop for long enough to reflect and heal. Or maybe you are walking around in this life full of small little aches and pains from small bad experiences, added together making you feel miserable. Maybe you are totally different. But no matter what, you haven't taken the time to make yourself feel better.
When these pains resurface months later, we try to push it away again, convincing ourselves that we should have been over this long ago, that we can't possibly still be being affected by it now. But guess what, if you've never dealt with a certain experience, it's not leaving your side until you have, and it's only going to grow into a bigger pain.
These little experiences are like getting a stress fracture in your foot from running too much. If you take the time to allow it to heal, you'll be back up and running in no time at all. But if you don't stop to let your body heal itself, and you keep running, that stress fracture is going to get bigger and bigger, and soon enough it's going to be a full blown broken bone. Your foot is going to hurt a lot more than with just a small stress fracture, and it's going to take a much longer time to heal. Plus, there's no ignoring it this time.
So I have two pieces of advice for you, and for myself. The first one is to those of us who have been bottling our pains up for too long, and now we must deal with a lot more hurt than we thought. Always remember Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit". Give your troubles to God. He loves you, and He wants to always be there for you. And guess what. It is okay to hurt, even after all of this time. There isn't a time limit to brokenheartedness or crushed spirits. So let it all go, and give it all to God.
And the second advice is to those of us who are in the middle of a little ache right now. Deal with it now. Ask God to help you heal right now, don't hold it all in for months and months, only for it to resurface even worse. Even if it doesn't necessarily seem major, God doesn't care. Like I said in my earlier post, He loves you, and He wants to always be there for you. A crisis is a crisis if it's a crisis to you. Don't feel like what you're going through is too small to hurt over. Hurt and heal now, before it gets even worse.
Everyone who is walking around with a cracked heart, take the time to let it heal and let God help you. Don't let your heart break into a million pieces before you turn to God.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Changing the Secrets
There's a website. Six Billion Secrets. sixbillionsecrets.com. And so many people who have written on that site are so alone.
It absolutely breaks my heart that so many people don't have someone to talk to, someone who can help them, who will be there for them. And a lot of people reading this blog post, or many of the secrets posted on that website will say that it's all melodrama. But I don't believe that. Yeah, maybe some of it is, but if that was your best friend, or son, or daughter, or sister, or brother, writing on that website, feeling those feelings, you'd want to help them, wouldn't you?
How have we let so many people feel so lost, so sad and upset? Maybe you are one of those people, asking yourself the same question. Or maybe you're like me, wondering how you, with a wonderful life, have overlooked all of that pain and sorrow in the people around you. Or maybe you fit into a completely different category. I just don't know where the happiness has gone. I'm not blaming anyone, because believe me, I know that it's not a choice you make to be unhappy.
So my challenge to you today is to go out and be that person that someone needs. Be the shoulder to cry on, the listening ear, the care that people are so desperately looking for. Do a few random acts of kindness. You may not be able to change the entire world, but each one of us has the capability to change at least one person's world. I'm going to try to think before I say, and try to always help people, because I might never know what else is going on in their life. Together, we can make happier secrets.
It absolutely breaks my heart that so many people don't have someone to talk to, someone who can help them, who will be there for them. And a lot of people reading this blog post, or many of the secrets posted on that website will say that it's all melodrama. But I don't believe that. Yeah, maybe some of it is, but if that was your best friend, or son, or daughter, or sister, or brother, writing on that website, feeling those feelings, you'd want to help them, wouldn't you?
How have we let so many people feel so lost, so sad and upset? Maybe you are one of those people, asking yourself the same question. Or maybe you're like me, wondering how you, with a wonderful life, have overlooked all of that pain and sorrow in the people around you. Or maybe you fit into a completely different category. I just don't know where the happiness has gone. I'm not blaming anyone, because believe me, I know that it's not a choice you make to be unhappy.
So my challenge to you today is to go out and be that person that someone needs. Be the shoulder to cry on, the listening ear, the care that people are so desperately looking for. Do a few random acts of kindness. You may not be able to change the entire world, but each one of us has the capability to change at least one person's world. I'm going to try to think before I say, and try to always help people, because I might never know what else is going on in their life. Together, we can make happier secrets.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Dancing in the Rain
The school year is coming to a close. Actually, at this point, it is at a close. With only one and a half days to go, I am left remembering the three glorious years that I've had at my middle school. Some of the memories that I have are happy, some are not so happy. Nevertheless, I love each and every one of them.
I've come into contact with so many new people in these past three years, and I've learned at least a little something from each one. It's difficult to believe that I'm going to be saying goodbye to so many of my peers, and all of the teachers and staff that make this school such an amazing place to be.
As I look about my bedroom, my computer, my cell phone, everywhere, I am finding reminders of everything I've gone through. Each of the laughs come rushing back to the forefront of my mind, each of the tears seem to be pointless. It's kind of crazy to think about how something that affected me so badly as I went through it, is so utterly unimportant now. I really can only see the smiles and laughs that I've exchanged, even when I try to remember the sorrows and tears.
I guess that one thing that middle school has taught me, is to never take anything for granted. Obviously I still do sometimes, but I'm a work in progress, aren't we all? And I'm not only talking about material objects, but I'm talking about the experiences that we've had. Good things, as well as bad things, don't last forever, nothing does, and we need to learn it, live it, and love it before it ends.
That quote, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain" is so true. Keeping our heads up, despite a torrential down pour that we may be in, is what we all need to learn how to do. Smiling, even though it seems like even nature can't help but to cry. Yes, dancing in the rain is what we all need to do.
I wish that I had realized that sooner. I wish it would be easier to live out, because even though I've realized it, I don't know what the chances are that I will always be able to stay optimistic. I think back to the times in the past three years that I thought I was going through absolute hell, and I can hardly even remember those times now, because they each led to something amazing. They each led to the rainbow. I wish that I had seen how trivial most of my problems were before I wasted so much time.
So now, even though the ending of this school year is bittersweet, the ending and the beginning, I don't have any regrets. Not a single one. Don't sit inside and mope as the rain pounds on the windows, get up, get out, and dance.
I've come into contact with so many new people in these past three years, and I've learned at least a little something from each one. It's difficult to believe that I'm going to be saying goodbye to so many of my peers, and all of the teachers and staff that make this school such an amazing place to be.
As I look about my bedroom, my computer, my cell phone, everywhere, I am finding reminders of everything I've gone through. Each of the laughs come rushing back to the forefront of my mind, each of the tears seem to be pointless. It's kind of crazy to think about how something that affected me so badly as I went through it, is so utterly unimportant now. I really can only see the smiles and laughs that I've exchanged, even when I try to remember the sorrows and tears.
I guess that one thing that middle school has taught me, is to never take anything for granted. Obviously I still do sometimes, but I'm a work in progress, aren't we all? And I'm not only talking about material objects, but I'm talking about the experiences that we've had. Good things, as well as bad things, don't last forever, nothing does, and we need to learn it, live it, and love it before it ends.
That quote, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain" is so true. Keeping our heads up, despite a torrential down pour that we may be in, is what we all need to learn how to do. Smiling, even though it seems like even nature can't help but to cry. Yes, dancing in the rain is what we all need to do.
I wish that I had realized that sooner. I wish it would be easier to live out, because even though I've realized it, I don't know what the chances are that I will always be able to stay optimistic. I think back to the times in the past three years that I thought I was going through absolute hell, and I can hardly even remember those times now, because they each led to something amazing. They each led to the rainbow. I wish that I had seen how trivial most of my problems were before I wasted so much time.
So now, even though the ending of this school year is bittersweet, the ending and the beginning, I don't have any regrets. Not a single one. Don't sit inside and mope as the rain pounds on the windows, get up, get out, and dance.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The Devil Can't Hurt Me
There are some days when I just want to give up hope. I just want to quit, because no matter how hard I try, it seems like I'm not good enough. And it becomes difficult to remember why I still have hope at all.
So I ask God, and that alone helps. Knowing that whatever happens, God is always listening, always caring, always loving. It helps so much more than I would've ever guessed a single thing could.
One specific night, I remember crying so badly, and I just didn't know what was happening. There was only so much I could do. I whispered to myself "God has a plan for you, God loves you" over and over again. Then that devil creeped up on my again, and screamed to my brain "There is no plan for you, you aren't important at all". I told him he was wrong. I'm here for a purpose, and I know it's true, even when it's hard to see, even when I am so lost and have no idea what step is next.
The song "Concrete Angel" then began to play on my Pandora account, and I saw why God wants me. God put me on this earth for a reason, He put us all on this earth for a reason. I have so many blessings, and I know that I could help people so much if I really tried. Maybe that's not God's entire plan for me, I don't know what He has in mind for my life, but I know that that's part of it. As long as there's still suffering in the world, I still have a purpose for being here.
The devil can't hurt me with the things that he says to me when I choose to listen to the one and only true God.
So I ask God, and that alone helps. Knowing that whatever happens, God is always listening, always caring, always loving. It helps so much more than I would've ever guessed a single thing could.
One specific night, I remember crying so badly, and I just didn't know what was happening. There was only so much I could do. I whispered to myself "God has a plan for you, God loves you" over and over again. Then that devil creeped up on my again, and screamed to my brain "There is no plan for you, you aren't important at all". I told him he was wrong. I'm here for a purpose, and I know it's true, even when it's hard to see, even when I am so lost and have no idea what step is next.
The song "Concrete Angel" then began to play on my Pandora account, and I saw why God wants me. God put me on this earth for a reason, He put us all on this earth for a reason. I have so many blessings, and I know that I could help people so much if I really tried. Maybe that's not God's entire plan for me, I don't know what He has in mind for my life, but I know that that's part of it. As long as there's still suffering in the world, I still have a purpose for being here.
The devil can't hurt me with the things that he says to me when I choose to listen to the one and only true God.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
More to Us
I can't undo the things that led us to this placeBut I know there's something more to us than our mistakes
How difficult is it for everyone to look past mistakes? To look beyond imperfections? To ignore faults? It's seemingly impossible. Trying to find the good, and overlooking the bad, is probably one of the most difficult things that we'll try to accomplish in our lifetimes. I know that it's one of my worst struggles.
I have a tricky time trying to realize that it isn't our mistakes that define us, regardless of who I'm thinking about, myself or others. I tend to be extremely tough on myself, and I don't always see that I mean more than how I've messed up. Because I am so tough on myself, I can also be somewhat tough on other people as well, though maybe not quite as bad. There are times when I know that I've had enough, but there other times when I've just been putting ridiculous expectations on people, events, occurances, everything.
Somehow our mistakes, and our accomplishments, have led us to where we are right now, this very moment. We've lived and we've learned. There is no going back. No undoing things that have already been done. No way to change what's already happened. None at all. No re-do's or do-overs allowed.
So sometimes, we're left pondering how we've gotten ourselves into such a big mess. How did we get here? Where did I go wrong? Or maybe you know exactly what happened. Maybe you know exactly where the turning point was, where your mistake, or mistakes, were made. Either way, it isn't fun knowing that you've messed up, and often times, we dwell on what we've done to the point of exhaustion. We let our anger at ourselves, or at others, eat away at us. It does no good.
There is so much more to us than the mistakes that we've made. We each have so much to offer the world, so much that makes us special and unique. Hidden talents, unveiled hobbies, different interests. Not one of us is the same, and we are in this world for a reason. We cannot spend our whole lives regretting, we'll miss out on so much, and the world needs us.
You think your mistakes are too big? That there's no way to get past them? That they are trapping you? Please, please think again. You are worth so much more than that miniscule mistake, no matter how big it seems to you. Acts 13:38 says “Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you." God loves you, and He has already forgiven you. Don't close yourself into a box, but go out into the world, and be your precious self.
Now I'm in our secret placeAlone in your embraceWhere all my wrongs have been erasedYou have forgiven
The quote at the beginning of this post is from the Skillet song "Believe" and the quote at the end of this post is from the Skillet song "Forgiven".
Sunday, May 29, 2011
The Pen is Mightier than the Sword
I've given up reading "The Knife of Never Letting Go". Though it has an awesome title, and I'm sure it's written awesomely (is that even a word?), it just wasn't my taste. I did buy the book "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson at my school book fair and read it in a matter of hours. "Speak" is an amazing book that I feel everyone can relate to on some level or another. It really makes you think, and ponder how you live your very own life.
I spent three entire English class periods at the school book fair before finally making my selections. I had heard raving reviews about "Speak" about two years ago, and I actually thought I might have read it already (I hadn't), but on a whim I picked it up from the table without even reading the summary. When I was finished making my purchases I was shocked, I had never been able to do that, never been able to just pick up a book and buy it. I always spend hours reading and re-reading the summaries, the reviews, analyzing what type of book I want to read at any given moment.
Throughout the three class periods I spent agonizing over which books to buy I determined that I wanted a relatable book, and not a book that was all sunshine and rose. I wanted something realistic, and something that wasn't an easy read, so I tended to avoid any of the books that looked too short. Now, "Speak" is not a long book by any means, but I never found myself bored. It was exactly what I was looking for, and I didn't even read the description.
A realization that I had while at the book fair, though, is that the book I've been looking to read for months has not been written yet. Though "Speak" definitely was amazing, and turned out to be perfect, it wasn't the exact book that I had been describing in my mind. I was looking for something that was mostly realistic (but maybe not completely), something that really challenged a person, something that was a higher reading level. A book where the main character has something that they need to overcome, or discover about themselves, a book that isn't necessarily happy the entire time, but a book that leaves you feeling empowered at the end of it. A book that I haven't been able to find.
So with this realization I set to work on my computer. I opened a blank Word document, iTunes, and babynamesworld.com in Internet Explorer. Clicking the shuffle button on iTunes I listened to the lyrics of each of the different songs, and hoped that inspiration would strike. I wasted about a half hour just sitting in front of the computer staring blankly, before giving up for the day. The next day I did the same thing, only this time, I actually came up with an idea.
Sometimes I like to write detailed outlines of a story out, other times I don't like to do any planning. This was one of the times in between. I planned out the two main characters, and had a pretty good idea of what the plot would be in my head, but other than that, there wasn't much planning that I did. I barely have a beginning, just under five pages, double spaced, but I have great plans for this story, and someday hopefully it'll be published.
I've always loved to read and write, but for some reason I had fallen out of touch with them for a while. When I finally read "Speak" and began writing this new story I remembered how much peace I find with words.
Words can do so much for someone. They can change a person's opinion, they have the ability to make a person happy or sad, they can empower or demolish someone. Reading and writing can be an escape, if you need them to be, they can be an alternate world to lose yourself in. Let literature scoop you up and entangle you within it's wonders.
Always remember what words can achieve, no matter what.
I spent three entire English class periods at the school book fair before finally making my selections. I had heard raving reviews about "Speak" about two years ago, and I actually thought I might have read it already (I hadn't), but on a whim I picked it up from the table without even reading the summary. When I was finished making my purchases I was shocked, I had never been able to do that, never been able to just pick up a book and buy it. I always spend hours reading and re-reading the summaries, the reviews, analyzing what type of book I want to read at any given moment.
Throughout the three class periods I spent agonizing over which books to buy I determined that I wanted a relatable book, and not a book that was all sunshine and rose. I wanted something realistic, and something that wasn't an easy read, so I tended to avoid any of the books that looked too short. Now, "Speak" is not a long book by any means, but I never found myself bored. It was exactly what I was looking for, and I didn't even read the description.
A realization that I had while at the book fair, though, is that the book I've been looking to read for months has not been written yet. Though "Speak" definitely was amazing, and turned out to be perfect, it wasn't the exact book that I had been describing in my mind. I was looking for something that was mostly realistic (but maybe not completely), something that really challenged a person, something that was a higher reading level. A book where the main character has something that they need to overcome, or discover about themselves, a book that isn't necessarily happy the entire time, but a book that leaves you feeling empowered at the end of it. A book that I haven't been able to find.
So with this realization I set to work on my computer. I opened a blank Word document, iTunes, and babynamesworld.com in Internet Explorer. Clicking the shuffle button on iTunes I listened to the lyrics of each of the different songs, and hoped that inspiration would strike. I wasted about a half hour just sitting in front of the computer staring blankly, before giving up for the day. The next day I did the same thing, only this time, I actually came up with an idea.
Sometimes I like to write detailed outlines of a story out, other times I don't like to do any planning. This was one of the times in between. I planned out the two main characters, and had a pretty good idea of what the plot would be in my head, but other than that, there wasn't much planning that I did. I barely have a beginning, just under five pages, double spaced, but I have great plans for this story, and someday hopefully it'll be published.
I've always loved to read and write, but for some reason I had fallen out of touch with them for a while. When I finally read "Speak" and began writing this new story I remembered how much peace I find with words.
"The pen is mightier than the sword"
Words can do so much for someone. They can change a person's opinion, they have the ability to make a person happy or sad, they can empower or demolish someone. Reading and writing can be an escape, if you need them to be, they can be an alternate world to lose yourself in. Let literature scoop you up and entangle you within it's wonders.
Always remember what words can achieve, no matter what.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
"The Knife of Never Letting Go": Pre-reading
Today, I finally checked the book "The Knife of Never Letting Go" by Patrick Ness. Intrigued by the title I picked it up off of the shelf about a year and a half ago to read the summary on the book jacket, not very hooked by it, I set the book back down carefully and left it be. Since then, many of my friends have told me about what a wonderful book it is, and that I should read it. Though the title really had me pulled in, the description of the book did not, no matter how many good reviews the book got. Once again it was a featured book on the shelves of my school library, and once again I picked it up, trying to decide if I should try it or not. On one hand, I'm an extremely picky reader, on the other hand, so many people had given raving reviews about it.
I decided to finally check it out, figuring that it couldn't be horrible, even if it wasn't my usual reading style. Plus, I really wanted to find out how the title, "The Knife of Never Letting Go," fit into the plot. Ever since I first picked the novel up, the phrase of the title had made me think. Never letting go can be as painful as a knife. It totally made sense to me, since that's one thing that I have a really big difficulty doing, letting go of my past.
I know very well how damaging it can be to try and live in my own memories, and never be willing to admit that most of them are just eras in the past now. It causes horrible feelings, and obvious pain. It is, in a sense, a mental, or emotional, knife. Holding onto everything we know can do no good.
So it is with high hopes that this book expresses some of those thoughts that I begin to read. I'll try to keep you all updated on my findings as I read through, but who knows how long it will take me to get through this novel. If I end up really liking it, I'll have read the entire book in two or three days, if I end up bored out of my mind, it'll take me two or three weeks to get through. So I guess it depends entirely on how much I like the book on how much I update about it. Feel free to join me in the reading of "The Knife of Never Letting Go" by Patrick Ness and add your own thoughts in the comments below!
I decided to finally check it out, figuring that it couldn't be horrible, even if it wasn't my usual reading style. Plus, I really wanted to find out how the title, "The Knife of Never Letting Go," fit into the plot. Ever since I first picked the novel up, the phrase of the title had made me think. Never letting go can be as painful as a knife. It totally made sense to me, since that's one thing that I have a really big difficulty doing, letting go of my past.
I know very well how damaging it can be to try and live in my own memories, and never be willing to admit that most of them are just eras in the past now. It causes horrible feelings, and obvious pain. It is, in a sense, a mental, or emotional, knife. Holding onto everything we know can do no good.
So it is with high hopes that this book expresses some of those thoughts that I begin to read. I'll try to keep you all updated on my findings as I read through, but who knows how long it will take me to get through this novel. If I end up really liking it, I'll have read the entire book in two or three days, if I end up bored out of my mind, it'll take me two or three weeks to get through. So I guess it depends entirely on how much I like the book on how much I update about it. Feel free to join me in the reading of "The Knife of Never Letting Go" by Patrick Ness and add your own thoughts in the comments below!
Today, I am Alive
There have been whispers of Judgement Day coming this Saturday, and as I walked up from the bus stop today with my brother and another boy who might as well be my brother too we were kind of joking about it. Out of the three of us, none of us doubt that we'll wake up on Sunday morning, none of us doubt that our families will wake up, and none of us doubt that our friends will wake up. For a moment I had a flash of what it would be like if Saturday really is it. Don't you think we'd all be living our lives a little bit differently?
I know that I take my life for granted. To me, there are no questions about it, I will wake up safe, taken care of, and relatively happy tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, and days and days, and years and years to come. But tomorrow could be it. Tomorrow could be the last page of my story. The last page of my story could be in just one second for all I know. Yet I take my life for granted.
So with these thoughts passing through my mind, my walk up from the bus stop took on a whole new meaning to me. That could have been the last time I ever walk up that hill, the last time I ever kick the wet leaves from the road. I set my mind differently, and I smiled with each step that I took, grinned as I took the mail out of the mailbox, and added an extra bounce in my step.
There's so much that I would do if I knew that tomorrow would be my last day. So many words I would say, so many people I would want to be with, and so many smiles I would give. I wouldn't want to leave this world without leaving my mark, and there are times when I know that I most definitely haven't done that yet. God gave me this life on earth to do something specific, to do His work, to live for Him, before the glorious eternal life I will have in Heaven. There is nothing that we can take for granted, because God had the power to give everything we have to us, and He has the power to take it all away.
So I'm going to start thinking before speaking, smiling before thinking, and listening before saying. I'm not going to regret, and I'm not going to watch life fly by without living it. If we all live like this, we'd all be so much happier, not to mention the wonders of the world that we'd all be living in. So join me in living each day as though it was our last!
I know that I take my life for granted. To me, there are no questions about it, I will wake up safe, taken care of, and relatively happy tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, and days and days, and years and years to come. But tomorrow could be it. Tomorrow could be the last page of my story. The last page of my story could be in just one second for all I know. Yet I take my life for granted.
So with these thoughts passing through my mind, my walk up from the bus stop took on a whole new meaning to me. That could have been the last time I ever walk up that hill, the last time I ever kick the wet leaves from the road. I set my mind differently, and I smiled with each step that I took, grinned as I took the mail out of the mailbox, and added an extra bounce in my step.
There's so much that I would do if I knew that tomorrow would be my last day. So many words I would say, so many people I would want to be with, and so many smiles I would give. I wouldn't want to leave this world without leaving my mark, and there are times when I know that I most definitely haven't done that yet. God gave me this life on earth to do something specific, to do His work, to live for Him, before the glorious eternal life I will have in Heaven. There is nothing that we can take for granted, because God had the power to give everything we have to us, and He has the power to take it all away.
So I'm going to start thinking before speaking, smiling before thinking, and listening before saying. I'm not going to regret, and I'm not going to watch life fly by without living it. If we all live like this, we'd all be so much happier, not to mention the wonders of the world that we'd all be living in. So join me in living each day as though it was our last!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Have You Ever Seen "The Other Side"?
“Alright, when I think ''other side'' I think of spirits, ghosts, and apparitions. And as much as a like to read about that kind of stuff, and how much it fascinates me, I have never "seen" the "other side". I’m not really sure what you're getting at by asking me that, but that's the only "other side" I can think of right now.”
“No, I haven’t seen the other side. The other side for me is, like, how people see me.”
“Well truthfully the "other side" makes me think of you know the other side of life... death. And I guess in some ways I have seen the other side as my grandparents have died. But in other ways I haven't.”
“The other side could mean anything from someone else’s point of view to death. I’m a person of simple English, I don’t try to impress people with big fancy words so this isn’t gonna be fancy and complicated. When it comes to seeing other people’s points of view yes I have seen the "other side" but it would be the other side of that discussion of that conversation not so much the big picture. I always try to look at the other side. If you’re going for the more drastic side like death then no I haven’t I’ve read about it I’ve read of people in battle that were close to dying one actually did but the medic was able to bring him back the all say it’s like floating one was saying that it looked like he was walking on light and that someone or thing told him that it wasn’t his time. Another was close but his wound was frozen shut because it was so cold and he said he could see himself his body on the ground and the medic working on him and the bullets passing all around him. I’m not sure if that answered your question I hope it did. So, I guess yes and no.”
“I have seen light. I have seen dark. I have seen yesterday. I have not yet seen tomorrow.”
“The other side. Yeah I feel like I’ve seen the other side. Even though I may only be a teenager I feel that I’ve seen a lot in my sixteen years. I have been through so much, but I feel like the “other side” is not just a “black-white” kind of question. My experiences have led me on this journey – life – and though I’ve caught a glimpse of it, there is only so much more to come.”
“I interpreted the “other side” as a point of view that is not my own personal point of view. Have I ever seen “the other side”? I have tried to see things from others view but no matter how well you try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, your own experiences and ideas seem to get in the way. I think I have attempted to see “the other side” but I believe I am still seeing it as if it was from my point of view and not theirs.”
“That makes me think are the things you are doing in your life meaningful to you and do you yourself feel that your life is meaningful…if not, you have not seen the other side. In order to see the other side you have to believe in your faith and do what you think is right to make your life worth living.”
“Bad versus good.”
“Absolutely. In a world of “maybes” and “kind ofs” it is hard to be certain about anything. One thing that seems easy to take for granted is waking up the next morning being able to breather. When you are shoved into a situation in which that is questioned, you realize how uncertain life can be. All it took was ten minutes of being stuck in rocks to show me that there is life, and then there is death. During my traumatic surf accident I saw my innocent, perfect, All-American life flash before my eyes. This was a side of reality that I had never seen before. So, I suppose you could say that brisk August morning I ‘saw the other side’.”
“I have never seen the other side and hopefully not soon if you know what I mean…but apparently “judgment day” is coming, so we might see it then.”
“I think of heaven (she’s crossed..to the other side) and I see it every day in God’s wonderful creations (not just humans) and just life in general. In love, little bits of heaven.”
“The other side is the ability to see things at a new perspective that’s different from your own!”
“Yes, it’s called a mirror ;)”
“No, I don’t think I have but can any one person really tell you what the other side really is? So would you really know for sure if you had seen the other side or not?”
“If I have seen the other side I feel like I wouldn’t be as confused as I am right now, so the other side is something I probably couldn’t define ‘cause I haven’t seen it.”
“I think that the other side would be the other side of yourself, ‘cause you may grow up knowing and learning everything about yourself until you have that one moment of realization when you know that things have changed and because I’m not the same forever, I now need to get to know the other side of me.”
“No! I think the other side is experienced in a life or death situation!”
“I live a very comfortable life. I have done mission work where I see how hard other people struggle. That is the other side to me.”
“The “other side” to me would be the “single life”. Been there, done that – much rather be married!”
“There’s a possible after life, that’s one way it could be interpreted.”
“I have never seen the other side. To me, it means the other side as in death.”
“Yes, because you can be bullied, but you can also be the bully.”
“I saw the other side once, when God comforted me while hiking through the woods. I sat down and realized everything was calm and beautiful, when I heard God speak to me through the beauty of nature. That, I think, is what the other side means.”
“I saw the other side when I saw my back in the mirror.”
“No, I don’t know what that means.”
“Well, maybe by other side it could be a place where anything can happen. Maybe it’s heaven. But I think that the other side could be in dreams. While asleep dreaming, anything can happen.”
“I have seen the other side of some things, but I don’t know if I’ve seen this side.”
“I think of the other side as ‘the dark side’ and as a bad thing. I think of the other side as being tempted by the devil. I also think of it as the opposite of heaven.”
“The dark side.”
“No, I have not seen the other side. I never seem to understand why this girl, Jane, is so mean to me and I wanna know why.”
“I usually try to see the other side, but sometimes it’s difficult because my perspective is my perspective. While I try to analyze the issue from multiple directions, I am limited by my genetic makeup, my unique set of experiences, and how much sleep I got the night before.”
“No. The other side sounds like where you go when you die. I’ve imagined it, but don’t think I’ve ever been there.”
“I think that yes, I have seen the other side. I feel like that is the other side of life as we know it. Some things are negative with a positive side and the other way around. It is the way someone sees something. A point of view.”
So let me ask you, Have You Ever Seen "The Other Side"?
“No, I haven’t seen the other side. The other side for me is, like, how people see me.”
“Well truthfully the "other side" makes me think of you know the other side of life... death. And I guess in some ways I have seen the other side as my grandparents have died. But in other ways I haven't.”
“The other side could mean anything from someone else’s point of view to death. I’m a person of simple English, I don’t try to impress people with big fancy words so this isn’t gonna be fancy and complicated. When it comes to seeing other people’s points of view yes I have seen the "other side" but it would be the other side of that discussion of that conversation not so much the big picture. I always try to look at the other side. If you’re going for the more drastic side like death then no I haven’t I’ve read about it I’ve read of people in battle that were close to dying one actually did but the medic was able to bring him back the all say it’s like floating one was saying that it looked like he was walking on light and that someone or thing told him that it wasn’t his time. Another was close but his wound was frozen shut because it was so cold and he said he could see himself his body on the ground and the medic working on him and the bullets passing all around him. I’m not sure if that answered your question I hope it did. So, I guess yes and no.”
“I have seen light. I have seen dark. I have seen yesterday. I have not yet seen tomorrow.”
“The other side. Yeah I feel like I’ve seen the other side. Even though I may only be a teenager I feel that I’ve seen a lot in my sixteen years. I have been through so much, but I feel like the “other side” is not just a “black-white” kind of question. My experiences have led me on this journey – life – and though I’ve caught a glimpse of it, there is only so much more to come.”
“I interpreted the “other side” as a point of view that is not my own personal point of view. Have I ever seen “the other side”? I have tried to see things from others view but no matter how well you try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, your own experiences and ideas seem to get in the way. I think I have attempted to see “the other side” but I believe I am still seeing it as if it was from my point of view and not theirs.”
“That makes me think are the things you are doing in your life meaningful to you and do you yourself feel that your life is meaningful…if not, you have not seen the other side. In order to see the other side you have to believe in your faith and do what you think is right to make your life worth living.”
“Bad versus good.”
“Absolutely. In a world of “maybes” and “kind ofs” it is hard to be certain about anything. One thing that seems easy to take for granted is waking up the next morning being able to breather. When you are shoved into a situation in which that is questioned, you realize how uncertain life can be. All it took was ten minutes of being stuck in rocks to show me that there is life, and then there is death. During my traumatic surf accident I saw my innocent, perfect, All-American life flash before my eyes. This was a side of reality that I had never seen before. So, I suppose you could say that brisk August morning I ‘saw the other side’.”
“I have never seen the other side and hopefully not soon if you know what I mean…but apparently “judgment day” is coming, so we might see it then.”
“I think of heaven (she’s crossed..to the other side) and I see it every day in God’s wonderful creations (not just humans) and just life in general. In love, little bits of heaven.”
“The other side is the ability to see things at a new perspective that’s different from your own!”
“Yes, it’s called a mirror ;)”
“No, I don’t think I have but can any one person really tell you what the other side really is? So would you really know for sure if you had seen the other side or not?”
“If I have seen the other side I feel like I wouldn’t be as confused as I am right now, so the other side is something I probably couldn’t define ‘cause I haven’t seen it.”
“I think that the other side would be the other side of yourself, ‘cause you may grow up knowing and learning everything about yourself until you have that one moment of realization when you know that things have changed and because I’m not the same forever, I now need to get to know the other side of me.”
“No! I think the other side is experienced in a life or death situation!”
“I live a very comfortable life. I have done mission work where I see how hard other people struggle. That is the other side to me.”
“The “other side” to me would be the “single life”. Been there, done that – much rather be married!”
“There’s a possible after life, that’s one way it could be interpreted.”
“I have never seen the other side. To me, it means the other side as in death.”
“Yes, because you can be bullied, but you can also be the bully.”
“I saw the other side once, when God comforted me while hiking through the woods. I sat down and realized everything was calm and beautiful, when I heard God speak to me through the beauty of nature. That, I think, is what the other side means.”
“I saw the other side when I saw my back in the mirror.”
“No, I don’t know what that means.”
“Well, maybe by other side it could be a place where anything can happen. Maybe it’s heaven. But I think that the other side could be in dreams. While asleep dreaming, anything can happen.”
“I have seen the other side of some things, but I don’t know if I’ve seen this side.”
“I think of the other side as ‘the dark side’ and as a bad thing. I think of the other side as being tempted by the devil. I also think of it as the opposite of heaven.”
“The dark side.”
“No, I have not seen the other side. I never seem to understand why this girl, Jane, is so mean to me and I wanna know why.”
“I usually try to see the other side, but sometimes it’s difficult because my perspective is my perspective. While I try to analyze the issue from multiple directions, I am limited by my genetic makeup, my unique set of experiences, and how much sleep I got the night before.”
“No. The other side sounds like where you go when you die. I’ve imagined it, but don’t think I’ve ever been there.”
“I think that yes, I have seen the other side. I feel like that is the other side of life as we know it. Some things are negative with a positive side and the other way around. It is the way someone sees something. A point of view.”
So let me ask you, Have You Ever Seen "The Other Side"?
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
April Reflections and True Happiness
For English class we have to write a journal entry at the end of each month. The only guidelines are that these entries have to be at least a page long, grammatically correct, and have evidence of reflection. As I wrote mine for the month of April, I realized that the beginning of it, at least, sounded a lot like my blog posts usually do, and I figured I'd write something of the sort for Abby's Abstracts.
It’s funny how as at the end of each month I look back at what has happened, and I’m completely shocked. You’d think that by now I’d be totally used to the unexpected happening, and expect it to happen. Apparently that’s not quite how it works. I wouldn’t say that the month of April has been a bad month, though. Yeah, it’s most definitely been shocking, but not bad, which shocks me in and of itself.
The truth that I've found this month is that true happiness does not come from looking at what we've done and who we've been, true happiness comes from looking forward to our big, bright futures. The past is the past, and whether it's good or bad, we aren't going to be able to change it or relive it. Our memories can make us smile now and then, but dwelling too much on them is only going to cause each of us strife. I've spent the majority of April planning the Summertime fun that I know I'm going to have, and making decisions to be happy, no matter what. No matter how it seems at certain points in time, it's true that we all do have BIG bright futures!
And who knew, all it took was the quickly approaching summer for me to figure that out? This summer I'm going to have an adventure of self-discovery. I'm going to find who I am, and I'm going to be a teenager. I refuse to be punctual and responsible and the as-close-to-perfect-as-possible person I always have tried so hard to be. I'm still going to be me though, and I know my limits. I'm not going to go crazy or anything, so no worries, but my goal is to find who I truly am, and to focus on the good in life. It's going to be a great summer, I can feel it throughout my whole being.
Alright, so I guess this isn't a reflection on April, but it is a reflection. And it at least starts with talking about April. Oh well, hope y'all enjoy!
It’s funny how as at the end of each month I look back at what has happened, and I’m completely shocked. You’d think that by now I’d be totally used to the unexpected happening, and expect it to happen. Apparently that’s not quite how it works. I wouldn’t say that the month of April has been a bad month, though. Yeah, it’s most definitely been shocking, but not bad, which shocks me in and of itself.
The truth that I've found this month is that true happiness does not come from looking at what we've done and who we've been, true happiness comes from looking forward to our big, bright futures. The past is the past, and whether it's good or bad, we aren't going to be able to change it or relive it. Our memories can make us smile now and then, but dwelling too much on them is only going to cause each of us strife. I've spent the majority of April planning the Summertime fun that I know I'm going to have, and making decisions to be happy, no matter what. No matter how it seems at certain points in time, it's true that we all do have BIG bright futures!
And who knew, all it took was the quickly approaching summer for me to figure that out? This summer I'm going to have an adventure of self-discovery. I'm going to find who I am, and I'm going to be a teenager. I refuse to be punctual and responsible and the as-close-to-perfect-as-possible person I always have tried so hard to be. I'm still going to be me though, and I know my limits. I'm not going to go crazy or anything, so no worries, but my goal is to find who I truly am, and to focus on the good in life. It's going to be a great summer, I can feel it throughout my whole being.
Alright, so I guess this isn't a reflection on April, but it is a reflection. And it at least starts with talking about April. Oh well, hope y'all enjoy!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Stands for Itself
"He's not waiting for us to be perfect. Perfect people don't need a Savior. He came to save us in our imperfections. He is the Lord of the living, and the living make mistakes. He's not embarrassed by us, angry at us, or shocked. He wants us in our brokenness, in our unhappiness, in our guilt and our grief."- Chieko Okazaki
While clicking through other blogs, I found this quote, and it really touched me. I'd write a whole post about it, but I feel as though the quote stands for itself.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Breathe, Just Breathe
In, out.
In, out.
I know, I know. There are times when life can seem so overwhelming, and you feel so lost in the world. Believe me, I know. That sense that you're in a race, and just inches behind the next runner, but no matter how hard you push yourself, you can't catch up. There's always something new, always another thing on that to-do list.
I find that I get trapped in what needs to be done a lot. I can't focus on the task in front of me, because I'm too worried about what needs to be done next, and after that. Then there's the added pressure of prioritizing. Does the homework assignment due tomorrow come first? Or does the outline for the huge project due at the end of the week come first? Add friends, and drama, and family, and other school work into the equation, and you're buried head to toe in things that you need to get done before you can sleep for the night.
You feel like you're drowning. You kick your feet, and you push at the water with your arms, but you just can't stay above long enough to take a deep breath. Yeah, life can feel like that sometimes. When you're going, going, going all the time, never taking a moment to stop and smell the roses, you feel lost and exhausted.
So let me tell you, it's time to stop. Breath in, and breathe out. Smell the roses. It is spring-time, after all, the flowers are blooming rapidly. For just a couple of seconds, forget about the long list of things that need to be done, and breathe, just breathe. Take the time to appreciate the wonderful person you are, and the wonderful gifts that God has given you.
In, out.
I know, I know. There are times when life can seem so overwhelming, and you feel so lost in the world. Believe me, I know. That sense that you're in a race, and just inches behind the next runner, but no matter how hard you push yourself, you can't catch up. There's always something new, always another thing on that to-do list.
I find that I get trapped in what needs to be done a lot. I can't focus on the task in front of me, because I'm too worried about what needs to be done next, and after that. Then there's the added pressure of prioritizing. Does the homework assignment due tomorrow come first? Or does the outline for the huge project due at the end of the week come first? Add friends, and drama, and family, and other school work into the equation, and you're buried head to toe in things that you need to get done before you can sleep for the night.
You feel like you're drowning. You kick your feet, and you push at the water with your arms, but you just can't stay above long enough to take a deep breath. Yeah, life can feel like that sometimes. When you're going, going, going all the time, never taking a moment to stop and smell the roses, you feel lost and exhausted.
So let me tell you, it's time to stop. Breath in, and breathe out. Smell the roses. It is spring-time, after all, the flowers are blooming rapidly. For just a couple of seconds, forget about the long list of things that need to be done, and breathe, just breathe. Take the time to appreciate the wonderful person you are, and the wonderful gifts that God has given you.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Proud to be Imperfect
Okay, so I know that I'm about to write a major contradiction to one of my earlier posts, but just stick with me, and you'll understand what I mean.
I'm proud to be imperfect. I know that earlier I said that we are all perfect, and we are, in God's eyes. That doesn't necessarily mean that all other human beings see us as perfect, but honestly, I'm proud of my imperfections. I'm happy that I make mistakes.
For so long I did everything in my power, and then some, to try and be perfect. I was always responsible, always on time, always doing my best not to make mistakes. I never took risks, I was always staying within my comfort zone. But that weighs a person down. The constant making sure that I've done everything right, the constant self-scrutiny, the constant pressure to be perfect. Making sure not to hurt anyone's feelings, making sure that I keep myself protected from anyone who could hurt me. And I don't mean physically hurt me, because that is a GOOD thing to do. I'm talking about mentally or emotionally. I hid from everything, but not anymore.
We're teenagers. We are supposed to make mistakes. This is the time to be reckless and carefree, and do something crazy now and then. Trying to be perfect is too tiring, and no fun at all. It isn't a way to live, because it isn't really living at all. There is no possible way to learn all of life's lessons without making mistakes, there is just no way. We've got to be comfortable enough in our own skin to be able to pick ourselves back up after making a mistake, and saying, alright, it didn't work out right that time, so let's try this a little bit differently. So smile a little bit wider, laugh a little bit louder, flirt a little bit more, sing a little bit off key, and dance a little bit crazier.
I'm proud to be imperfect. I know that earlier I said that we are all perfect, and we are, in God's eyes. That doesn't necessarily mean that all other human beings see us as perfect, but honestly, I'm proud of my imperfections. I'm happy that I make mistakes.
For so long I did everything in my power, and then some, to try and be perfect. I was always responsible, always on time, always doing my best not to make mistakes. I never took risks, I was always staying within my comfort zone. But that weighs a person down. The constant making sure that I've done everything right, the constant self-scrutiny, the constant pressure to be perfect. Making sure not to hurt anyone's feelings, making sure that I keep myself protected from anyone who could hurt me. And I don't mean physically hurt me, because that is a GOOD thing to do. I'm talking about mentally or emotionally. I hid from everything, but not anymore.
We're teenagers. We are supposed to make mistakes. This is the time to be reckless and carefree, and do something crazy now and then. Trying to be perfect is too tiring, and no fun at all. It isn't a way to live, because it isn't really living at all. There is no possible way to learn all of life's lessons without making mistakes, there is just no way. We've got to be comfortable enough in our own skin to be able to pick ourselves back up after making a mistake, and saying, alright, it didn't work out right that time, so let's try this a little bit differently. So smile a little bit wider, laugh a little bit louder, flirt a little bit more, sing a little bit off key, and dance a little bit crazier.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
We Are Family
Yeah, I know, I just got that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day, didn't I? Well good, it's a pretty nice song to be singing for a long time.
So today was a very...confusing day. But no matter, we learn a lot on the most confusing days don't we? Anyway, a lot was going on, and a lot of it could have pulled me and my friends apart a lot, or possibly have hurt one or many of us. Despite the challenges that we were being put through, though, we stuck together, and I'm extremely proud of everybody today. One of my best friends in the world said something this afternoon that made me smile stupidly for such a long time. I was so proud of her, our whole group of friends, and the amazing bonds that we share.
"Our group is a family, and we stick together through everything." It may seem like a simple statement, but it really was a sign to me during a really cloudy day, both literally and figuratively. Her comment was so true, and it made me realize how truly awesome our friendships really were. We protect each other and stick together through thick and thin, and that's how it's always going to be, no matter what.
I thank God so, so much for these people in my life. They hold me up through so much, and are truly gifts from Heaven. God has already given us the tools we need to get through so much in our lives, and we don't even recognize them most of the time. So let's take at least a few moments today to thank God for the amazing gifts that he has given us.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Untitled
This ice is becoming too thin to walk on,
and I don't think it's any fun anymore.
but somehow we have to get off without breaking through.
and I don't think it's any fun anymore.
but somehow we have to get off without breaking through.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Perfection
Constantly, I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect. I need to have perfect grades, perfect organization, I can't have fights with my friends, I need to be a good friend to every one of my friends equally. And when I mess up it drives me insane. It's extremely difficult for me take a step back and take a deep breath most of the time, but it's something that really needs to be done.
For a while, I thought that I had everything under control, all of my ducks in a row, but then a lot changed. Suddenly I couldn't stop the wall of perfection that I had built around myself from crashing down, and it was terrible. I used to be the person who when hanging out in a large group of friends and something went wrong, everyone instantly put me in charge, trusting that I knew what to do.
Then, I felt as though everyone was walking on eggshells around me, carefully watching what they said, being cautious so not as to crack the calm facade that we all knew I wore. It was only in the past month or two that I began to fix things. Not necessarily gain the "perfection" that I thought I used to have, but pick up the pieces and start to put them back together. One night, I prayed the same prayer to God that I had been praying for so many weeks, maybe even months.
Why can't I be "That Girl" again? "That Girl" who always had everything together, who was always happy, who could always handle any crisis carefully? Lord, what happened to me? That's the person who you created. Not this.
It was as I sat on my bed that night, that God spoke to me again. He gave an exasperated sigh, and finally the message that He had been sending me throughout my difficulties (as well as my happiness, but it wasn't until life became difficult that I stopped hearing the message) came through loud and clear. It was as if God was saying, "Don't you see, Abby? I love you. There isn't anything that can be done to change that. I love you. I love you just the way you are. Why can't you see yourself clearly?"
And then I did. God opened my eyes up to the girl He sees when He looks at me. God doesn't see that breakout, God doesn't see that my hair isn't sitting exactly right. God doesn't see that mean thought I had anymore, God doesn't see the mistakes that I've made any longer. What God does see, is Perfection.
True Perfection, is not the perfect grades, great friendships, and the ability to know what to do in tough situations that I was striving for. True Perfection is trusting in God, and living for Him. True Perfection cannot be achieved in any other way than through God. God loves us so, so much, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life" John 3:16. You are loved. I am loved. We are loved.
God made each and everyone of us special, just the way He wants us. We need to remember that God does not make junk. During those times when we no longer believe in ourselves, when we no longer love who we are, we must realize that there is absolutely nothing that can pull us away from God's love.
Absolutely nothing.
For a while, I thought that I had everything under control, all of my ducks in a row, but then a lot changed. Suddenly I couldn't stop the wall of perfection that I had built around myself from crashing down, and it was terrible. I used to be the person who when hanging out in a large group of friends and something went wrong, everyone instantly put me in charge, trusting that I knew what to do.
Then, I felt as though everyone was walking on eggshells around me, carefully watching what they said, being cautious so not as to crack the calm facade that we all knew I wore. It was only in the past month or two that I began to fix things. Not necessarily gain the "perfection" that I thought I used to have, but pick up the pieces and start to put them back together. One night, I prayed the same prayer to God that I had been praying for so many weeks, maybe even months.
Why can't I be "That Girl" again? "That Girl" who always had everything together, who was always happy, who could always handle any crisis carefully? Lord, what happened to me? That's the person who you created. Not this.
It was as I sat on my bed that night, that God spoke to me again. He gave an exasperated sigh, and finally the message that He had been sending me throughout my difficulties (as well as my happiness, but it wasn't until life became difficult that I stopped hearing the message) came through loud and clear. It was as if God was saying, "Don't you see, Abby? I love you. There isn't anything that can be done to change that. I love you. I love you just the way you are. Why can't you see yourself clearly?"
And then I did. God opened my eyes up to the girl He sees when He looks at me. God doesn't see that breakout, God doesn't see that my hair isn't sitting exactly right. God doesn't see that mean thought I had anymore, God doesn't see the mistakes that I've made any longer. What God does see, is Perfection.
True Perfection, is not the perfect grades, great friendships, and the ability to know what to do in tough situations that I was striving for. True Perfection is trusting in God, and living for Him. True Perfection cannot be achieved in any other way than through God. God loves us so, so much, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life" John 3:16. You are loved. I am loved. We are loved.
God made each and everyone of us special, just the way He wants us. We need to remember that God does not make junk. During those times when we no longer believe in ourselves, when we no longer love who we are, we must realize that there is absolutely nothing that can pull us away from God's love.
Absolutely nothing.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Running
She smiles softly to herself,
The wind, like fingers, softly caresses her hair.
There is nothing that she has to fear.
A gentle push away from the path,
Tells her to stray from conformity,
And forge her own way through the overbearing world.
The forest surrounds her,
In what seems to be her last chance,
To escape the place that she is lost in,
She begins to sprint,
Green and brown blurring in the sides of her vision.
She stops abruptly,
Everything starts to spin.
In and out, she breathes,
Looking at what surrounds her.
Staring, but not really seeing.
Take a step back,
And once again the world is in perspective.
She can see the path that was not meant for her,
And it is only feet away,
Though it seems as though she was running for hours.
That gentle touch, guides her in the right direction,
Once again.
The wind, like fingers, softly caresses her hair.
There is nothing that she has to fear.
A gentle push away from the path,
Tells her to stray from conformity,
And forge her own way through the overbearing world.
The forest surrounds her,
In what seems to be her last chance,
To escape the place that she is lost in,
She begins to sprint,
Green and brown blurring in the sides of her vision.
She stops abruptly,
Everything starts to spin.
In and out, she breathes,
Looking at what surrounds her.
Staring, but not really seeing.
Take a step back,
And once again the world is in perspective.
She can see the path that was not meant for her,
And it is only feet away,
Though it seems as though she was running for hours.
That gentle touch, guides her in the right direction,
Once again.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
The Voice of Truth
The past couple of months have been pretty difficult for me, compared to what seemed like pure bliss last year. Three people, right in a row, made the same assumption about me, and who I am as a person. They were completely and totally wrong, but for a little while, I believed it. I thought that maybe I don't see myself clearly, and I really am what they said I was. I was tired of being used, or, rather, I was tired of people trying to use me. Usually they didn't succeed, though they always managed to make me feel terrible about myself. There were briefs sections of time when things seemed like they were going to get better, but something would happen again, and it seemed as though it was never going to end.
Then, right after the third person made those incorrect assumptions about me, I decided that they were wrong. They had absolutely no right to say those things to me, and absolutely no reason to believe those things about me. I am loved, and I love myself, no matter what they say. If I didn't let what they thought or said affect me, then it couldn't be true. That evening, I stood in one of the rooms at our church with three boys after their confirmation class. One of them pulled out his iPod, and began to play the song "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns.
The song has a really nice message in it, about not believing what other people think about us, and not listening to what Satan says to try and discourage us. I stood in the room as the three boys sang along with the song, and even though they were completely off key, it was one of the most beautiful things that I had ever heard. I held back tears as I had the realization that it doesn't matter what those people think of me, God loves me, and that's all that's ever going to matter.
God loves each and everyone of us even more than we can comprehend, and it's Satan who comes after us, and tries to make us believe that we are worthless, and begin to wish that we weren't who we are. God is The Voice of Truth, The only One who we can ever count on to always show us what's real, and what isn't. God loves us for all of eternity, and He wants us to know that.
Then, right after the third person made those incorrect assumptions about me, I decided that they were wrong. They had absolutely no right to say those things to me, and absolutely no reason to believe those things about me. I am loved, and I love myself, no matter what they say. If I didn't let what they thought or said affect me, then it couldn't be true. That evening, I stood in one of the rooms at our church with three boys after their confirmation class. One of them pulled out his iPod, and began to play the song "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns.
The song has a really nice message in it, about not believing what other people think about us, and not listening to what Satan says to try and discourage us. I stood in the room as the three boys sang along with the song, and even though they were completely off key, it was one of the most beautiful things that I had ever heard. I held back tears as I had the realization that it doesn't matter what those people think of me, God loves me, and that's all that's ever going to matter.
God loves each and everyone of us even more than we can comprehend, and it's Satan who comes after us, and tries to make us believe that we are worthless, and begin to wish that we weren't who we are. God is The Voice of Truth, The only One who we can ever count on to always show us what's real, and what isn't. God loves us for all of eternity, and He wants us to know that.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
We All Bleed Red
Think back to the last time that someone has hurt you or wronged you, maybe it was years ago, maybe it was moments ago, but it has happened to all of us. We just want to hold that grudge against that person forever, we want to hold back our forgiveness. Now, think back to that phrase that you've heard all your life, "put yourself in the other person's shoes". You don't want to, there's no point, you think, it wouldn't change anything. But you know that's not true. You know that if you really changed your perspective on the situation, you would want forgiveness. You would want to know that you can begin to stop feeling so badly about what had happened, because most people do feel badly about hurting someone else, even if it's sometimes hard to see.
Fighting about petty matters won't help anyone. It's only hurting both people. We all make mistakes, we all hurt other people, we all love, and we all laugh. We are who we are, imperfections and all.
Next time that somebody has hurt you, next time that somebody wrongs you, remember, we all bleed red. Don't hold back the forgiveness that you yourself would want, that you know that person deserves.Remember, we all are imperfect, none of us are without blame, so give the forgiveness that you've been holding back on.
So here's to all of the people who I've been holding back forgiveness from. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my unwillingness to let go, to forgive. I'm releasing my anger. I'm forgiving.
Fighting about petty matters won't help anyone. It's only hurting both people. We all make mistakes, we all hurt other people, we all love, and we all laugh. We are who we are, imperfections and all.
Next time that somebody has hurt you, next time that somebody wrongs you, remember, we all bleed red. Don't hold back the forgiveness that you yourself would want, that you know that person deserves.Remember, we all are imperfect, none of us are without blame, so give the forgiveness that you've been holding back on.
So here's to all of the people who I've been holding back forgiveness from. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my unwillingness to let go, to forgive. I'm releasing my anger. I'm forgiving.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Spring Fever
Yes, it is that time of year again. It's that time of year when we are on the cusp of Spring. We can smell the freshness of the air in thr morning, and we can feel the squishiness of the wet ground underneath our feet. In useless attempts at making Spring come faster, we wear our Spring time clothing just a *tad* too early. We start thinking about Spring cleaning, well, some people do, I'm usually more of a "push-it-off-as-long-as-possible" cleaner.
Spring is defintely in the air. We know it's coming, and we all have a slight case of Spring Fever. There's just something special about Spring. Something that brings a smile to my face. If you haven't already noticed, I'm a generally nostalgic person. I can get lost in my memories, I can relive the moments I want to, and sometimes even the ones I don't want to. This Spring is like happiness in a bottle for me. Last Spring was so amazing, there aren't even words to describe it. Friendships were blossoming alongside the flowers all over the place, and I couldn't seem to keep a smile from spreading over my face for very long.
A month or so ago I thought that this Spring would be inevitably different. There was no way that after everything that has happened this year Spring would be great. But now, now I think that maybe it can be just as great. Different, yes, but still filled with smiles and happiness.
My nostalgia sometimes makes me think that repitition is the only way to ever be happy. Remember the happy moments, and make them happen again. But that only leads me into sadness, because it's impossible to recreate moments that are special enough to engrave themselves in my memory forever. That's what makes them so special. No number of attempts and precautions and planning will ever make it possible to recreate memories, so why try? It only takes up time that should be spent making new memories, more cherished moments.
So, welcome, Spring 2011! It's time to make some more memories!
Spring is defintely in the air. We know it's coming, and we all have a slight case of Spring Fever. There's just something special about Spring. Something that brings a smile to my face. If you haven't already noticed, I'm a generally nostalgic person. I can get lost in my memories, I can relive the moments I want to, and sometimes even the ones I don't want to. This Spring is like happiness in a bottle for me. Last Spring was so amazing, there aren't even words to describe it. Friendships were blossoming alongside the flowers all over the place, and I couldn't seem to keep a smile from spreading over my face for very long.
A month or so ago I thought that this Spring would be inevitably different. There was no way that after everything that has happened this year Spring would be great. But now, now I think that maybe it can be just as great. Different, yes, but still filled with smiles and happiness.
My nostalgia sometimes makes me think that repitition is the only way to ever be happy. Remember the happy moments, and make them happen again. But that only leads me into sadness, because it's impossible to recreate moments that are special enough to engrave themselves in my memory forever. That's what makes them so special. No number of attempts and precautions and planning will ever make it possible to recreate memories, so why try? It only takes up time that should be spent making new memories, more cherished moments.
So, welcome, Spring 2011! It's time to make some more memories!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Change
History starts now. Life starts now. Forget everything else. Forget the mistakes, the problems, the tears, the cries. Forget it all. Take life one step at a time, you're only going to trip if you look too far back or too far forward. Let today be the first day of the rest of your life, and don't let anything hold you back from your biggest dreams, because with a little bit of craziness, a ton of determination, and a whole lot of faith in God, you can achieve anything.
We can be anybody who we want to be. Don't get caught up in the mistakes that you've made in the past, because those mistakes are not what define who you are. Yeah, there are going to be effects of those mistakes that you will inevitably deal with, but those are only a minor setback. Make a choice to be somebody better, today. Make a decision to make time for the people who need you. Choose to put another couple of dollars in the offering plate at Church. Talk to that girl who nobody likes. Be the type of person who you want to know. Don't watch the world change, be the change.
This is me forgiving myself. This is me accepting what has happened. This is me making a change.
You can too.
We can be anybody who we want to be. Don't get caught up in the mistakes that you've made in the past, because those mistakes are not what define who you are. Yeah, there are going to be effects of those mistakes that you will inevitably deal with, but those are only a minor setback. Make a choice to be somebody better, today. Make a decision to make time for the people who need you. Choose to put another couple of dollars in the offering plate at Church. Talk to that girl who nobody likes. Be the type of person who you want to know. Don't watch the world change, be the change.
This is me forgiving myself. This is me accepting what has happened. This is me making a change.
You can too.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
If Today Was Your Last Day...
I find that very often we all get caught up in the difficulties and stress of life, myself included. We all have different things going on that need our time and attention, things that we need to do, things that we want to do. We are often trying to do what we think is right, most times making mistakes and getting things wrong. I know that when I make mistakes, regardless of how big or small they are, I am constantly stressing over them, constantly trying to figure out how to fix things, even if nothing is broken.
Another issue that I find myself having is constantly looking at the past and wanting it back, but I never realize that it's in the past for a reason, that things are different now for a purpose. I'm sure that I'm not the only one caught up in things that cannot be changed, caught up in memories that cannot be brought back, so I thought that I'd post lyrics to a song by Nickelback. The song is called "If Today Was Your Last Day".
It isn't always a bad thing to think about the good things in your past, it's when your past begins to take over your present and future, begins to make everything seem bad because something has changed. I know this is something that I've struggled to remember, and I know that I'm not alone.
So if today was your last day, would you be able to say that you lived it to the fullest? Would you be able to say that you have no regrets? Would you be able to say that you weren't too busy in living in the past to realize that this could be your last day? To realize that what's done is done, and the only thing we can change now is the present?
Another issue that I find myself having is constantly looking at the past and wanting it back, but I never realize that it's in the past for a reason, that things are different now for a purpose. I'm sure that I'm not the only one caught up in things that cannot be changed, caught up in memories that cannot be brought back, so I thought that I'd post lyrics to a song by Nickelback. The song is called "If Today Was Your Last Day".
It isn't always a bad thing to think about the good things in your past, it's when your past begins to take over your present and future, begins to make everything seem bad because something has changed. I know this is something that I've struggled to remember, and I know that I'm not alone.
So if today was your last day, would you be able to say that you lived it to the fullest? Would you be able to say that you have no regrets? Would you be able to say that you weren't too busy in living in the past to realize that this could be your last day? To realize that what's done is done, and the only thing we can change now is the present?
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