Pause: Why are you doing what you're doing?

This week I've been utterly overwhelmed with all of the different roles I am playing this semester.  I have my role as a student, as an RA, as an employee (in two separate positions), as prospective law student, as a friend, as a daughter, as a sister, as a girlfriend, and as a human being just trying to stay healthy.  To top it off, I discovered a crack in my windshield this morning that probably will need to be fixed before driving home for Spring Break at the end of this week.  I was gifted an awesome planner for Christmas that I've been using to schedule myself and prioritize projects.  At the beginning of the week I sat down to try and organize myself in this planner, scheduling out my days half hour by half hour, and I discovered that 24 hours in a day just simply is not enough.

I'm sure that most people can relate to the chaos of trying to fill more roles in life than you can count, regardless of your stage of life.  When something needs to go, though, what is the first thing?  I'll tell you that this week, for me, it was spending time with God.  Thank goodness that He's shouting loud enough for me to pause and pay attention to Him today, only halfway through the week, before my head explodes.

As I sit in our local coffee shop I am reminded that of all my roles only one really matters: my role as a follower of Christ.  If I'm seeking Him, everything else will work out.  I took a moment this morning to pause and listen to Him, looking through the red text in the New Testament, and was drawn to a fairly popular passage in Mark.  Jesus has just been asked which of the commandments is the most important and this is His answer: "Love the lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'  There is no commandment greater than these" (Mark 12:30-31).

This reminds me that nothing is as important as loving God and loving His people.  I shouldn't be fulfilling these roles that I am overwhelmed by this week simply because they're items on my to-do list, but because God has called me to each of them in this moment of life.  Every item that I check off should be to God's glory, even the most tedious task stops feeling stressful when its done to fulfill God's command to love Him and His people.  The papers I write this week are for God's glory so that I can learn about this world that He's created, the copy and paste data entry that I do this week is for God's glory so that I can share the load with coworkers and earn money to use to further His kingdom.  The conversations I have are to connect and love the people God has guided me to know.

Today Christ re-centered me on Him, and I challenge you to let Him do the same for you.  I guarantee that even the longest of to-do lists will seem less stressful when you are reminded of your call to life.  Your purpose here is to love God and love His people - do everything with that in your heart, and trust that God will help you find the time to do what needs to be done.

The Love Letter

Today, for better or worse, is Valentine's Day, a day that encourages us to appreciate and love the people in our lives, but for many it is difficult to not be cynical today.  Whether its because there's a relationship in your life that isn't what you want it to be, there isn't a relationship that you were hoping for, or simply because you think today is a "Hallmark holiday," today is an easy day for many to feel more estranged from those around them than ever.  As I work on a Bible assignment for my Biblical Ideas class, though, I am reminded of why today is even possible.

"We love because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19).  No matter your thoughts on Valentine's Day or the status of any of the relationships in your life, you are loved today and that love should inspire you to love those around you.  It's okay if you just don't feel it right now, but remind yourself that there is a God who loves you so much that He created you with a purpose.  You are not here by accident, you are not here to slide by in life.  God created you to be who you are and is shaping you to be who you are becoming to fulfill a purpose in this world. 

Read Psalm 90 if you need a reminder of this.  At first it may make you feel small, as the Psalmist puts God's greatness and infinitude side by side with our small and short lifespans, but rejoice in this:  God, who is so great, who has been God "Before the mountains were born or [He] brought forth the whole world" (Psalm 90:2), created you intentionally.  You are not an accident, and despite our lifespans being like new grass that "in the morning springs up new, but by evening it is dry and withered" (Psalm 90:6), God created you intentionally.  If He did not have a purpose for you, He would not have bothered to bring you forth into this world.  You are important.

The Lord, your God, came to this earth as Jesus Christ and gave His life so that you may have life eternal with Him.  That is true and absolute love.  He lived a perfect life and then took the punishment that you and I deserved out of pure love.  You are important and you are loved.

If today you are not feeling love in the air, take a look at some of the other Psalms.  Psalm 139, Psalm 23, and Psalm 24 in particular may be good reminders of how deeply the Lord cares for you.  Then I encourage you to read 1 John 4:7-21 to see how this love of God should inspire us to live today and every day.  Today, love those around you not because it's Valentine's Day or out of any obligation - love because God loved you first.  Love because His love radiates through you.  Love because His love is the only one that you'll ever need, and the only one that'll never fail.

The Sinful and The Saved

My boyfriend and I began on the endeavor of reading the Bible in its entirety in a year on August 1, and we chose a reading plan that spread out the Old and New Testaments, as well as Psalms.  One of the passages for the first day was Matthew 1.

In the past, I have skimmed over the first chapter of Matthew, assuming that there wasn't much wisdom to be gleaned from this particular section, as it is mostly a list of names.  Newly inspired to read every individual word that God has given us in the Bible, I read it word for word this time and discovered something that I had never noticed before.  The second part of verse six reads "David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah's wife," (Matthew 1:6).

The lineage of Jesus not only includes several adulterers, but it makes direct reference to the adultery that had taken place at the beginning of David and Bathsheba's relationship by saying that Bathsheba (the mother of Solomon) "had been Uriah's wife."  David and Bathsheba's sin is described in 2 Solomon, chapter 11, in which David and Bathsheba commit adultery together while her husband is away at war.  When she conceives of a child, David devises a plan to have Uriah, Bathsheba's husband, sleep with her so that nobody will know of their sin.  When Uriah refuses to do so David has him put on the front lines of the war to be killed so that David may marry Bathsheba.

David and Bathsheba experience the grace and forgiveness of God in 2 Solomon 12:24-25 with the birth of their son, Solomon, whom God loved.  The birth of Solomon shows that God's purposes will prevail, even in our sin, and that we are never too far from God to receive His grace.

The inclusion of this relationship in the genealogy of Jesus Christ shows us that God is bigger than anything we can every do wrong.  He is not ashamed of us, He loves us and will use us if we ask Him and are willing, even in our deepest sins.  God does not expect us to be perfect, He is fully aware that we are not capable of living sinless lives, and that does not prevent Him from using us, even in our moments of sin.  David and Bathsheba's originally sinful relation is in the direct line of Jesus Christ, the Savior from sin.

We are sinful and we are saved, and God can use every part of our story for His glory.

Put it in its Place

This semester I have had a constant whisper from that still small voice: "Put it in its place."

Worrying about school?  About work?  About money?  About illness?  About politics?  About time?

Put it in its place.

God did not create us to live anxious, worry filled lives.  He created us to live lives full in Him.  God didn't declare "You shall have no other gods before me" (Exodus 20:3) for His benefit, but for our benefit.

When you worry, are you elevating the subject of your anxiety to a place that it doesn't deserve to hold?  There is a place in our lives for worry, for work, for studying, for money, for political analysis.  There is a place for most of what we fill our lives with, but where it becomes harmful is when we make it more important than it is.  Put it in its place.

For me, this semester, it's one of my classes.  It's a business simulation that runs on a weekly schedule, where competition results come out on Sunday night at 9PM and then we spend the rest of the week analyzing what happened in the simulation and making decisions for the next week.  It is one of those things that could truly never be done.  No matter how much time I put in from week to week, there is always more analysis that I could be doing, more calculations that I could make.  When I get caught up in the simulation I can easily spend several hours doing nothing but staring at the computer screen and moving numbers around.  Do I get any fulfillment from this?  No.  Does it make me a better person?  No.  Does extensive analysis help me to learn the class objectives better?  No.  Could my team do better if I were to do nothing but look at these simulation results?  Maybe.

It's in these times when I am so caught up in this simulation or other classwork that God tells me to step back and put this class in its place.  I wasn't created for this class.  This class does have a purpose, but elevating it to a level outside of its rightful place in my life does nothing beneficial to my learning or to my character development.

For the first eight weeks of this class my team consistently was not seeing results that matched up with the amount of time and effort we were putting into the simulation.  I felt beaten down and exhausted by this class, and by the time week eight rolled around I was ready to quit, feeling pretty bad about myself and my abilities.  Together with my team and professor I put a final push into week eight, exerting more time and energy on this simulation than any week before, vowing that I would do nothing but the bare minimum from there on out if the week eight results weren't better.

Week Eight was a roaring success.  The results came out Sunday at 9PM, as per usual, and I was overjoyed.  A funny thing happened as the week went on, though.  After the initial excitement, this success didn't fulfill me, and much like our prior failures didn't define me, this success didn't either.  I laughed at God when I realized that even though I had been trying to listen to Him all semester and put this class in its place, I really had believed that everything in my life would align and go well once this class went well.  But that wasn't true, and even with this personal "win" I still had to put the class in its place.

The only thing that defines us is Christ's love for us, not anything that we can do or say in this life.  When facets of life begin to take over, don't let them.  Keep them where they belong, and keep your eye on the prize (or, rather, gift): eternal life with our Savior.  Worry as necessary, work as necessary, study as necessary, but don't let any of those things take over.  Put it in its place.

Election Deliverance: Be Strong and Take Heart

I don't have magic words to say to take away the fear that this election has instilled.  I don't have explanations and I don't have a great understanding of how we've gotten to this point.  But I do know that this fear only leads to despair, and we can't let that happen.

Take hope, my friends, because our foundation is not in the President of the United States, but in the Creator of the Universe.  What good does fear and despair do now?  Can we change the results by being saddened?  We are only in this world, we are not of it.

Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death.  But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.  He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

-2 Corinthians 1:9-11

This entire election season has been a mess, and regardless of which candidate won there would be fear this morning, even from many of the same people who are afraid now.  Some feel that the results of last night are the death sentence that we can relate to this passage with, while others feel that this entire election was the death sentence.  Regardless of what camp you're in, regardless of who you voted for, we must draw our hope from the God who raises the dead and delivers us from evil.  Even if you are among those who are fully contented by this election, Donald Trump is not our savior, Christ is, and therefore we must still recognize that only He is in control.

Despairing in this election, losing hope, puts politics in a place that only God should hold.  It makes an idol of government.  Don't lose hope in God's deliverance.  Don't lose hope that God can and will work through all situations, good and bad.  Be disappointed, be saddened, but do not fear and do not lose hope.  Look to the Lord of all Creation for hope and know that through prayer and conversation with Him we can learn the hope He has given us, and trust His power and His will.

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."

-Luke 22:42 

 

Finding Perfect Peace

I started praying about peace in March, after taking a grueling midterm by which I felt trampled.  I've gotten significantly better at not finding my identity in test scores and grades since the start of this blog in middle school, but I am not perfect.  This class was a night class, meaning that we met only once a week on Monday evenings. 

The Thursday after taking the midterm I was walking around the quad, killing some time between lunch and my biology lab, praying about this exam.  I was so panicked, so frustrated, that this would be the black mark on my transcript, and I felt God asking me "So what?  So what if you didn't do well?" and I felt this peace fall over me as I realized that the score I received on that midterm really did not matter.  It did not matter in the sense that it does not define me or change me in God's eyes, and it did not matter in the sense that it would not impact my future unless it was part of God's plan.  If God wants me to be somewhere in the future, a poor midterm grade will not stop Him from bringing me there.

From there on out I saw signs of God's sovereignty and felt His perfect peace countless times, and so when I began a short devotional study that encouraged its readers to choose one word to focus on for a year, God gave me the word "Peace".  At first I thought this was great, I would no longer be filled with anxiety and stress on a regular basis, and I would find my rest in the Lord.  Then I realized that when God wants to change you, it isn't that easy.  It's easy to ask Him to take away worry and replace it with peace, but it isn't easy to find peace in conflict with those around me, or to have peaceful thoughts towards a driver who cuts me off. 

I remember a Bible study, several years ago, in which one of the leaders told my peers and I that she had been praying for more patience.  She shared that she expected God to give her greater patience, but instead God gave her a greater number of frustrating situations.  At first she fell into the frustrations and continuously lost her patience, then she realized that God was giving her these situations to practice being calm and patient.  Prayer and developing as a Christian is not a genie-in-a-bottle-your-wish-is-my-command relationship with God, it's one of continual development, guiding, molding, and shaping.

When I consciously began focusing on peace about a week and a half ago, I expected God to take away my stresses and show me how to find peace in Him, but He is showing me all kinds of ways to express peace, and bringing me into all kinds of situations in which I need to find peace.  Asking God to grow me isn't an easy process, but I am sure that it is worth it.  I had been focusing on Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus," but I needed to look to the verse before it, Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  God provides, but I must turn to Him and do my part as well. 

Peace is not just a feeling, but a way of living, and God is teaching me that through hands-on experiences.  I don't always succeed in these tests, in fact I hardly have thus far.  I don't realize that He's trying to mold me until after the fact, but I will grow, and He will lead me.  Is God calling you to grow in some area?  Choosing a fruit of the spirit to focus on is a great way to start: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).  It won't always be easy, but it will be worth it.

No Motivation? The King is Calling!

I don't post here often enough because, quite often, when I sit down to write the inspiration just doesn't strike.  I usually try to force some words out and put together the semblance of a blog post, but it all sounds unnatural and wrong, so I backspace and stare at a blank screen for a while before giving up. 

Sometimes this upsets me and throws me into moments of doubt.  When I started this blog I could feel God inspiring me all the time, sometimes several times a week, or even more than once a day, but it just doesn't come that way anymore.  Do I not pray enough?  Am I reading the wrong Bible verses?  Am I not listening for God throughout the day?  I panic.  Why doesn't this come easily anymore?

I'm beginning to find that motivation and inspiration for many things in my life may not always come easily, but I have to push through it and make it work anyway.  I have to write English term papers whether or not any of the works from class inspired a literary argument in my mind.  I have to find a way to push myself through a workout whether or not I have much motivation that day.  And I should sit down and think about how God is working in my life and the world around me and take time to formulate it into words even when it doesn't come easily.

This blog has been such a gift throughout my formative years, in that it caused me to think deeply about God's presence in my life and how He was working on me, and I am so blessed that He used it to not only help me, but to reach others.  Now is my time to be faithful to Him and continue listening and using this gift that He's given me despite His voice only seeming to be a whisper.

What gifts has God given you to further His Kingdom?  Are you using them to the fullest to serve Him and those around you?  God calls each of us to serve Him in different ways, and we must answer His call to us even when we lose the motivation and inspiration.  He is constantly calling you to something, even if it isn't what you want to do or be.  He's never going to let you waste your life.  If it feels like He isn't calling you to anything listener longer and harder.  I know that He's going to use you for something great, even if you have little motivation, desire, or even ability to do it.  He will provide.  He will call.  His Kingdom will be grown.

Not How It's Meant to Be

This isn't how it was supposed to be.  This world is broken and full of evil, and this isn't how it was supposed to be.  Love is abused, the good and the young die painful deaths, and sex is used to manipulate and hurt.  Where is God in all of this?

My roommate and I were discussing one of our Humanities Core classes that deals with worldviews and difficult topics of our time such as abortion and euthanasia, and our conversation strayed to why the world contains so much evil inside of things that were designed to be good, specifically when it came to sex.  I asked her if she thought that there was sex before the Fall of Man, and we agreed that there was, because man was designed to reproduce from the start and we cited Adam and Eve in Genesis 2:24-25 "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.  Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."  We had the realization that though in our post-Fall society sex is often abused and sinful it wasn't designed to be that way.  I said "this isn't how it was supposed to be" and all of a sudden so many things clicked into place for me.

God created life to be beautiful, He wanted man to live in perfect harmony with Himself, one another, and the rest of creation.  But Satan in the form of the serpent stepped in and altered that order, causing evil to enter the world.  God never intended for the world to be this way.  The story of man since Genesis 3:8 has been God's work to redeem us.  He loves us and doesn't want to see us hurt, but we constantly hurt ourselves, and just by nature of living in a fallen world evil is part of our lives and is part of who we are.  That is, it is a part of who we are except for God's Redeeming Grace through Jesus Christ.

God  can use the evil in the world for His purposes, to help us to grow and to guide us to Him, but He did not cause this evil.  Man in conjunction with Satan brought this evil into the world, and then our free will continues to let it intertwine with our lives.  God's heart breaks when we are in unnecessary pain caused by the evil that He did not bring into the world.  Good things are made bad because this world is not how it was supposed to be.  This was not the original plan.  This isn't how it's supposed to be.

When we pass on from this life and enter into Heaven by God's Grace we will see how the world was meant to be.  We will meet with utter perfection.  For now, though, God has a purpose for each one of us in this fallen world in order to guide as many of us as will accept His redeeming salvation into Paradise, into the Heaven that God intended.

For me, to live is Christ

This song has been hugely active in my faith this past year.  The first time I heard it was a week after moving into college last year for my freshman year.  I was homesick and longing for someone to talk to who I had known longer than a week, and found myself sitting on a step behind the Chapel.  I could hear the song being performed inside, but I had no clue why, as there were no events being held in the Chapel at that time.  Now, looking back, I know it was one of the worship teams preparing for their weekly Thursday night worship, but at the time all I knew was that it was sent from God.

I've found that the words in "Let it Be Jesus" by Christy Nockels is a prayer that works as praise for joyous times and as a cry out to God in hard times, because no matter what it rings true.  So often I want to take credit for my blessings and successes and I want to control my struggles, but I have to give it all to God.  He is the Light and the Guide.

If you're going through a high in life, I encourage you to listen to this song and praise God for your blessings.  Take a moment to remember that it's all about Jesus and His victory on the cross, and use the blessings that He's bestowed upon you to glorify Him.

If you're going through a valley of life, listen to this song and cry out to God.  Ask Him to glorify Christ through your sufferings and to use them to His purposes, even if it's really hard to understand now.  Try to focus on God's sovereignty, and know that He loves you more than you could ever hope to comprehend.  Keep your eyes turned towards Him and He'll bring you inner peace and use this situation to His purposes.

Even if you're not going through a valley or a high, and you're in a middle ground of life, listen to the song and pray for God to make your thoughts and actions Christ-centered.  I've found that the middle-periods of my life are the times where it is easiest to get complacent in my walk with God, because I feel as though I don't need His comfort, and the blessings He's given me seem less obvious.

Let it be Jesus.

God's Glory Revealed

Look outside.

Isn't that incredible?  Isn't God great?  He created all of that.

I have a tendency to let my mood reflect the weather.  When it's bright, sunny, and even the sky is happy, so am I.  But when it's gloomy, misty, and threatening floods all day, my attitude dampens.  Just a few moments ago, I was standing in my dorm room, folding laundry, staring at the gloomy sky outside, but then the skies opened.  God revealed His mighty greatness and roared for the clouds to open in a mighty clap of thunder, and then it was pouring.

This didn't dampen my mood at all, though, in fact, it made me happier.  There's something about the kind of thunder that's almost loud enough to hurt your ears that just shows God's power in a new light.  The rain that follows, the heavy pouring and the subsequent steady drizzle, is no longer depressive, for it is the herald of God's power.

It's the same with every kind of weather, though I don't always recognize other types of weather for what they are.  God commands the skies, and creates the flow of rain, snow, sun, and wind that we ultimately see.  God is revealed in even the smallest things in life.  Where has He revealed Himself to you today?

Becoming New

We're twenty two days into the new year, and if the crowd at my college's fitness center is any indication people are working on their New Year fitness resolutions, myself included.  I've been working out most days of the week and trying to eat less junk food in an effort to get healthier and stronger.  Phrases like "a whole new you!" and "transform your body" are all over the place, and people are looking at their post-holiday bodies thinking "yeah, that could be a good idea." 

Everyone wants a beautiful body, but what gets overlooked at this time of year, and any time of year for that matter, is that no amount of body fat (or lack thereof) and no amount of muscle mass (or lack thereof) is going to make you more beautiful.  It might seem that way, but it just won't.  You're already the most beautiful thing in the world.  You're a child of God.

"So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them" (Genesis 1:27).  You don't need to lose ten more pounds to be lovable, you don't need six pack abs to be beautiful.  God made you in His image, and you already are absolutely beautiful.  God has the power to make you new in so many ways, not just physically, if you'll ask Him and let Him into your life.

Colossians 3:17 says "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."  Think about this while you're working out, and really while you do anything else.  Worship isn't just singing, worship is glorifying God in everything that you do, whether that be studying, working, singing, dancing, working out, or anything.

Think about altering your New Years Resolution to ask God to transform your mind, body, and soul, because He can and He will make you new this year, in all kinds of ways.

Legacy

Legacies.  A legacy is what we leave behind when our time comes, and what we're remembered for.  Legacies tend to reflect how much a person loved God and loved others in life. 

When Jesus was asked which of the commandments was the most important, he answered "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'  There is no commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:30-31).  Jesus boiled down the purpose of our lives to love God and to love others.  He gives us a bit more direction in this in the Great Commission: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit" (Matthew 28:19).  This is the kind of legacy we should be living now, leaving behind later, when we join our Father in Heaven.

People remember you for how you make them feel, not necessarily for what you do.  A good teacher is not remembered only because of the knowledge that they passed to their students, but also, often more so, because they made the student feel valued, regardless of how quickly or how well the student learned the material.  A good parent is not remembered for the number of presents under the Christmas tree, but for the times they were cheering at soccer games, for the times their child felt loved and worthy of love.  These are just two examples, but this is true, at least in my life, in almost every situation.

Legacies go deeper than this, though.  You are also especially remembered for the way you react in times of trouble.  "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body" (2 Corinthians 4:8-10).  The Message version of verse ten helps us to understand its meaning, "What they did to Jesus, they do to us—trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does in us—he lives!"  One of the reasons that we face these trials in life is to help fulfill the Great Commission.  Jesus' love for the Father and for His people, us, didn't falter in times of trouble.  Jesus should be our guide in life, and this is His example.  When Jesus was on the cross, dying not because of anything that He had done, but because of our sins, we mocked and scoffed at Him, but He asked God to forgive us, when we deserved it least, "Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).  This is a difficult example to follow, but we can draw strength from Jesus' words.  Right after Jesus gave the Great Commission He also gave this encouragement "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Matthew 28:20).

When we react to trials as Jesus did, we are building a legacy for God.  In all of this, the goal isn't to be remembered as "a good person".  The goal should be to be remembered as men and women of God.  I want to leave behind a legacy that God smiles on. 

If He Comes Suddenly...

Praise God from whom all blessings flow;
Praise him, all creatures here below;
Praise him above, ye heavenly host:
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

 

On campus, we have times of worship that are set aside to just sing God's praises together.  It's incredible to stand in a room, or outside in the middle of God's creation in one instance, and worship the Creator all together.  I find that so many of the lessons that God teaches me comes not through the sermons and messages that I hear on Sunday mornings or in Chapel throughout the week, but through the songs that we sing to praise Him.

 

God is so deserving of worship, and no doubt He takes joy in His children when we join together to sing for Him, but our journey with God can't stop there.  At the church that I grew up in, the verse above, the Doxology, was always sung after the offering had been collected, a form of thanking God for the gifts He has given us and offering them back up to Him.  I have learned to associate this Doxology with a monetary offering, however, at the end of each worship session on campus we join together in singing the Doxology, despite the fact that no offering has been collected.

 

The first time we sang the verse together I was confused, but quickly realized that this was just yet another form of worship.  This was offering our lives up to God, rather than our money. 

 

There is so much more to following Christ than simply praising Him through song.  We must follow Him and join Him in the mission field, regardless of where we are, because the mission field is all around us.  God didn't give us the most amazing gift in the world for us to keep to ourselves, He sent His Son so that we may live in Him and spread His love to the people around us.

 

Some people are called to follow and serve Christ overseas, but so many of us are called to serve right where we are.  God is always calling us to His mission, there is no "someday" about it.  Jesus could return at any moment, and Mark 13:36 says "if He comes suddenly, do not let Him find you sleeping."  I was told by someone recently that if you aren't actively doing God's work in the world, then you aren't truly following Him.  There is so much more to worship and following God than just singing and attending Bible studies.

Transitioning: God's Love

Well, this is it, everyone.  I arrived at Grove City College on Thursday, and even though it has barely been two days I feel as though it's been over a week.  Everything is going well here, well, everything except for the desk chairs that are constantly rocking backward and making loud noises.  I have been extremely touched by the care of each of the people I encounter here, and by the prayers and thoughts that I am receiving from home.

Everyone on campus has been nothing but friendly and helpful, and it is apparent that when the faculty, Orientation Board members, and RA's say that they've been praying for us and excitedly awaiting our arrival as freshmen, they mean it.  It's incredible to me that so many people who hadn't met me before Thursday could care so much about me.  God has created such amazing people, and such an amazing place here, and I am so thankful that He found a place for me at this college.  I strive to show God's love to others as the people who have been here to welcome us to campus have shown God's love to me.

I have also been blown away by the amount of prayers and well-wishing that I have been getting from people at home.  It means so much to me each time I get a text or someone says something on Facebook, wishing me an easy move in and adjustment, letting me know that they're thinking about me and praying for me.  It really shows me what it means to be the Church, not to simply go to church.  The Church is not a place to worship on Sunday mornings, the Church is the community developed by Christians going through life together.  I knew so many of these people who have been checking in on me and praying for me cared for me at home, but it is so heart warming to know that their love extends this far, too. 

So thank you everyone, and thank you God for making this transition so much easier for me, and for showing me the love of Christ.

What I've Learned Beyond the Classroom

As I sit here in front of my computer on the eve of my high school graduation I'm not quite sure what to say.  How do you sum up eighteen years of life, or twelve years of schooling, or even just three years in high school in a blog post?  

High school was...an adventure full of highs and lows, exciting times and disappointing ones, days complete with life lessons and days totally void of purpose.  There are two lessons, I suppose I'll call them that, that I kept coming back to since tenth grade.  The first one relates directly to God, and the second isn't as direct.

I'll start with the more direct one, I suppose.  In middle school I felt so close to God, I had days that I could almost hear Him in conversation with me.  In high school, though, life began to fill with so much more than in earlier years, and I could feel God beginning to get pushed into the periphery of my life, but even when I put everything else aside and focused on God things still felt...different.  Very rarely did I feel that closeness that I used to feel in middle school, and there were moments that I began to doubt God's presence in my life.

Only recently did I truly begin to understand why this was happening.  As we progress through the stages of life, God progresses with us.  While He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, we are not, and because of that God reaches us in different ways.  Middle school was a time full of developing out of childhood, finding out where I fit in, and discovering who I was going to be.  It was awkward, and, at times, it was difficult to navigate, and I needed God to be, well, extremely loud and incredibly close.  While personal development continues throughout life, and certainly in high school, it's a much different experience, and we are beginning to prepare for the rest of life, gaining much more independence than in years prior.  

My faith through high school was about just that, having faith.  It was as if God was saying "Okay, we got through these three years just fine, but now you need to trust me when I tell you that I will always be near just a little bit more."  

Perhaps I can create an analogy to a story that my mom told me when we were going through photographs from my younger years.  There was a picture of me in a row boat in the lake at my grandparents' mountain home, attached to shore by a long rope.  Thinking back on that vacation I didn't remember being attached to shore, I remembered rowing independently on the lake, and I giggled, thinking that I was attached to this rope and didn't even know it.  My mom, however, told me that I had desperately wanted that rope attaching me to the shore (not that she would have let me go out unattached, anyway), that I needed to know that that rope was there reigning me in.  Middle school was like my mom's (true) version.  God was obviously there, and I was comforted by knowing without a doubt that He was with me.  High school was more like my (false) thoughts.  I didn't realize that I was attached to shore all along, but I trusted that my mom would make sure nothing bad would happen to me.  I could have gotten too far away, though, to a point where I felt like she wouldn't be able to reach me if she needed to, but all along I was attached to where she was.  I have to trust in God that He is always here, and recognize even in the times that I am unsure I am still anchored to the everlasting Lord.

The second lesson from high school is about priorities.  Tomorrow when I am beginning to tear up during Graduation it will not be because I will miss the structure of high school, or because I will miss the subjects (if I really wanted to I could take similar classes at Grove City).  I will be crying because it is a goodbye of sorts with the people who I've grown to hold so dearly.  The people in life are the important part.  God sent us here to interact and love one another, and to develop a relationship with His Son.  That is our first purpose in life, not mastering rotations and torque in Physics class (though that could be a means to fulfilling our first purpose.) 

I'm not saying that we shouldn't be focused on academics or careers, anyone who knows me knows that I would never say that those things are unimportant, but this year especially, my senior year, I've learned that it is easy to put our priorities in the wrong order.  Years from now it is unlikely that I will remember how to solve the integral of an exponential function, yet I know that I will remember the people in my life right now.  Before senior year I often put academics ahead of anything else in my life, but now I see that there are some things that can come before, or at least equivalent to, them.  There is one thing that must come before them.  God.  In all things God must be the first priority in my life. With God first, everything else will fall into place, as He'll guide me towards the proper path.

So I suppose the first lesson that I learned was about my relationship with God, and the second was about following and serving Him, neither of which is much different from the other.

Above all remember this - "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16)

Senioritis: A Shorter List

They say "senioritis" is a bad thing.  You get into college, and you stop trying.  You get lazy.  But I think that they're wrong.  Don't get me wrong, the traditional definition of senioritis is something to avoid, but that doesn't mean that senioritis that doesn't affect your school work is awful.

Since getting into college (Grove City College class of 2018, wooho!) I have not felt the need to slack in my schoolwork.  Since starting senior year, however, I have found that I no longer feel the need to live up to the standards of everyone around me.  I don't need to be actively involved in six different friend groups to be happy.  In fact, all that does is burn me out.  So why was I doing it until this year?

That answer is simple: because, up until this year, I was holding myself to the standards of my friends, my parents, myself, and God.  This year, I've been trying to narrow that list down to being only God.  I want my standards for myself to reflect God's, so that's an easy one to attempt to check off.  I may not have realized it until this year, but my parents' standards for me have reflected God's all along, so that one is even easier to check off.  

Ah, but then there are my friends.  I spend approximately thirty five hours a week in school with these people and then however more time after school and on the weekends, how am I supposed to just ignore them?  But, there, my friends, is the problem.  I'm not supposed to ignore them.  I'm just not supposed to be focusing on who they want me to be.  And this year has shown me the importance of that.  How many of these "friends" will I actually be in regular contact with after a month or two of our freshmen year in college?  Five, six, maybe?  So if I'm only going to remain friends with five or six of these people, why have I been struggling so hard to live up to the standards of so many more?  So there I can cross off most of the people from the friends part of my list.

"What about those five or six, though, Abby?" you ask.  Ah, well here is the best part.  Those five or six people don't have standards for me beyond the most basic of God's standards.  They just want me to be, well, me.

So now my list of standard setters is down to just one.  God.  And man, do I wish I had figured this all out a while ago, because it is just so calming to know that they only standards and judgements that matter now are God's, and His standards will only lead me down a path that I want to follow, that will not leave me weary. 

So call it some form of senioritis, if you may, but it is far from laziness and a feeling of being done.  It comes from a realization that God is the only true judge, that there is no use in exhausting myself to live up to the rest of the world's standards.  Isaiah 40:31 says "But those who hope in The Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  Narrowing my list of people who set standards for me to God and only God is not lazy, it does not lighten the workload, but it gives the strength needed to do everything that God wishes me to do and strive to live up to each of the standards that He sets.

Who Do You See?

Well, it's late. And a school night. However, God seems to have His own schedule for when He communicates with us, and nearly eleven o'clock on a Thursday night seems to be the time He wanted to use with me. 

Just a half an hour ago or so, I was hit with a huge wave of feelings of inferiority, of worthlessness. I was beginning to feel like I was losing my intelligence, something that I have used to define me for so long. After many tears and texts to friends, I finally got into bed. Before I went to sleep, though, I felt this need to pray, so I did. I felt that I could hear God talking to me, and the conversation went something like this:

Me: God, I'm just not anything anymore. I'm really just not special.

God: That's not true. I think you are. I love you.

Me: But why?

God: Because I created you.

Me: Yeah, but what does that have to do with me?

God: Nothing. That's kind of the point.

Me: Huh?

God: When people look at you, they shouldn't see you. They should see me, and my love.

Me: Wow. That makes a lot of sense.

It was with this conversation with God that I realized that maybe I need to rethink my defining characteristics. The number one thing that I should want people to see when they look at me is how much God loves us, so I shouldn't care about the other things nearly as much. Seeing as it's so late, and that this just happened, I have very little commentary on this conversation right now, but perhaps God will have something to add about this topic at a later date. Until then, goodnight, and sleep well, everybody!

I Love You More

My senior year in high school will be starting in just a few days, and it seems like all of a sudden, there is very little in life, other than trying to plan for college and summer reading. 

The pre-college process is stressful.  I am currently looking at a short list of colleges, all of which are Christian colleges, and there are so many different details and options that have to be weighed when trying to choose the one that I want to go to.  Of course, if you know me, or if you are familiar with this blog, you'll see that I have a constant desire to know the future, to have life planned.  I have this deep urge to be able to plan everything in my life, and right now, not knowing where I'll be living or going to school in a year is quite daunting.  I haven't even visited all of the schools that I'm considering yet, but already I feel like I should have a college picked out. 

I'm so worried that I'll make the wrong choice.  What if my favorite school ends up being the most expensive?  What if I can't tell which school God wants me to be at?  Even worse, what if it really doesn't matter to God which school I go to, so long as I'm still following Him?  And how am I supposed to find extra time to pray about this process with school starting in just a few days, with my most challenging schedule yet?

And then, once I've figured out where I'll go to college, how do I figure out what I'm going to do there?  How am I going to decide what I want to do for the rest of my life?  What if I do what I love, but then I can't get a job?  What if I do what will lead to a lucrative career, but end up hating it?  How do I make all of these decisions before I'm even a legal adult?

On Wednesday, after I had just gotten home from a college visit, and feeling the pressure to know where I'll be in a year, I turned on the radio in the car, and this song came on.  There was an initial peace that fell over me when the song began, and the first verse said "I am with you wherever, and where you go is where I am."  The chorus was another part that really spoke to me.  "I love you more than the sun, and the stars that I taught how to shine, you are mine, and you shine for me too, I love you.  Yesterday, and today, and tomorrow I'll say it again, and again, I love you more."  It was like God telling me to calm down.  If He can set the stars and the sun to shine each day and night, He will surely guide me through this process.  He will guide me to the right decision, whether or not it matters to Him exactly which college I'm learning to use the gifts that He gave me to use in order to shine for Him.  He will also guide me towards finding what exactly it is that He wants me to shine with.  He loves me no matter what, and I am His.

Sunny Smiles

I'm sure this message won't be new, because it's advice that people so often give, however, everyone needs a reminder now and then.

Smile.

Even when life can't seem to get any worse, smile.  At the very least, the act of smiling tricks your body into releasing a small amount of happy hormones.  

My mom always gives advice about confidence.  She says "even if you don't feel it, fake it."  And the funny thing about faking confidence is that, after a while, you find that you aren't faking it anymore.  The same goes for being happy.  (No, I'm not telling you to never let anyone know when you're upset. People need that sometimes.  You can't always be happy, it just isn't possible to feel cheery every moment of every day.  However...)  If you're having a gloomy mood kind of day for no apparent reason, put that smile on your face, and fake the happiness.  Soon you'll forget that you're even faking.

Smile.

Smiles have a huge amount of power in the world.  Imagine, you're having a bad day, you're walking down the aisle of the grocery store, not paying a lot of attention to the front of your cart.  You're busy thinking about all of the ways that your day fell apart.  You run into someone's foot with the wheels of your cart, and drop your purse at the same time.  The person turns around, glares at you, and says sharply "Watch where you're going," before turning the corner into the next aisle.

Or, does the person turn around, and giving you a friendly smile picks up your purse for you?  Does the person reply to your mumbled apology with an upbeat "Don't worry about it!" and cheerily wishes you a good-bye before turning into the bread aisle?  Doesn't that sound like a much happier version?  That's the kind of response that can turn a bad day around.

It's incredible what a difference that someone flashing a smile at you can make.  Smiles say "You're worthy of happiness.  You are cared about."  In the same way that you would hope that someone would give you a smile on your worst days, be willing to shell them out as often as you can.  They're free, after all.

Smile.

You never know the difference that it'll make.

Time for God

Life gets busy sometimes.  It seems like there's always something that needs to be done, something that is next on the to-do list.  And when there isn't, there's TV, and Internet, and books, and journals, and all kinds of things to do to relax.  There's always friends and people to be around.  Time is always being filled.

When I made the transition from middle school to high school, I fell out of talking to God before I went to sleep.  I've never been coherent enough in the mornings to focus on Him, and with the start of high school bedtime turned into whenever I finish my homework, not after I've had time to read my Bible.  So I shouldn't have been all that surprised when I found that there was distance between God and me.

It wasn't that I decided that God was less important, consciously, at least, my prayer time just kind of...slipped away, I guess.  If you look back on all of my posts, there is a noticeable gap in the recent history, a gap during which I wasn't really making time to grow closer to God, so I had very little to share.  When prayer was no longer a part of my day to day life, it was only a matter of time until I couldn't write anymore, until I couldn't feel a purpose anymore.  God breathes life into me, and without Him, there is no life.

Starting to talk to God again, on a consistent basis, was the best thing that I have done recently.  I started a devotional reading plan on the YouVersion online/app based Bible, and starting taking some time to talk to God not only at night, but all throughout the day.  I'm making an effort to be in constant communication with Him.  Someone once told me that you are always moving when it comes to God, it's just a matter of whether you are moving towards Him, or away from Him.  For a while, I was moving away, but now I'm definitely getting closer to Him.

So today, I encourage you to make more time for God.  Do a daily devotional, read a Bible verse or two, take a few minutes to tell Him how your day is going, to thank Him for the blessings in your life, to ask for help in your trials.  He will breathe new life into you.